Saturday, September 22, 2012

Splendor in the Grass


I've been reading End of Summer essays from my friends these past few weeks. Some are travelogues, some are passages of sorrow, some have an air of disappointment (slash boredom), some are painted with colorful adventures.

Me? I had perhaps the most liberating summer of my life. I'm sifting through my reasons for not writing it all down (I started with this.) Sometimes these huge moments come with so much story, I wonder if it's best to let them simmer? See how the meat boils as it separates from the sauce?

My family and I, we traveled a lot, spent most of July absent from our Retro House passing in airplanes and our car from one state to another. Still I think my entire summer can be best told in contents of my backyard. Specifically, the grass.

Chup and I freely argue, debate and hotly converse, but nothing causes more contention in our marriage than lawn care. I like a regularly manicured lawn, void of weeds and shrubs that prick my baby's toes. But Chup could stand a little bit longer grass and sometimes I wonder if he even notices the weeds. And though we've tried to knock out gender-specific tasks in our marriage, I don't cut the lawn. Chup doesn't vacuum, I don't cut the lawn. Blessedly for our marriage, our neighbor's twenty-something shirtless son weekly cuts the grass on our front lawn, completely gratuit. We keep talking about getting him a gift certificate to Outback, or some place twenty-somethings eat these days. Then I refer to my Elderly Mormon Persona who says, "A weekly service project is good for the boy!"

With our front yard in good hands, Chup's domestic landscaping opportunity falls to the back of the house where we've got a sizable yard in the shape of an upside down Utah--outlined by a wonderful, old brick wall. Earlier in the year Chup tended to the plot, fertilizing it, asking for the grand exodus of dandelions and adjusting the sprinkler system to appease any thirsty parts. By June the foliage looked lush and emerald, gorgeous actually. I started to think it would be a shame to cut it at all.

So we didn't cut the grass (except once, early on). We let it grow wild all summer long. And it grew and grew and grew.

One day my brother Jesse came to visit, a lawn-care hobbiest in his own right. He looked out on our field of sorts and said to me, "Aren't you afraid of snakes hiding in the grass?"

"I've thought about our grass attracting snakes, but I don't fear them." I said.

When the August sun rolled it's away across the sky, we spent most of our hot nights outdoors in that tall grass, the children never worried about prickly pieces underneath the fir trees and the extra padding about their feet made them daring. One time a little neighbor friend fell out off the swing set--about five feet down--and landed in a pile of swirling grass. It was like watching a tow-headed angel fall from heaven and onto a puff of clouds. When she landed she rolled over and started belly laughing, causing us watchful adults to let out a huge withheld breath.



And now, here's September and the light is leaving me. Summer is over, officially, and fall is taking over it's annual responsibilities. I goout every single day to make an afternoon nest of the tall grass and lie in it. No blanket, my skin touching as much of the nature as possible, I sing to the sun and pray to Heavenly Father for the sunshine to sink all the way in, past my skin, soaking my soul. The grass is now so long it's gone to seed.

The thing I noticed about me, about this summer, about that grass as it grew wild in the sun is this: what may look wild and untethered can actually be the very breath of obedience. Sometimes God just wants us to grow lush until we too, go to seed, replicate ourselves, scatter and store up more roots through the winter onto next spring, when the light finds us again.

All summer long, I never once found a snake.




73 comments:

Lisa B. said...

lovely and beyond.

Elizabeth said...

What a beautiful, original post. And the photos were gorgeous --

Betina said...

<3

KIC said...

Letting go of "perfect" is so liberating & beautiful. It's been such a hard lesson for me to personally learn. Thank you for expressing this in such a gorgeous way. Emotional.

piecesonnapkins said...

Thank you, I needed exactly this today, and more time in the grass.

mpace said...

Mullet grass?! Sounds fitting for the retro house :)

Loved the pics.

perfumehk said...

so nice blog . . .
Parfum pas cher

Cinny said...

Hmmmm, the most lovely excuse yet for not cutting the grass. Good thing it's in the backyard because the neighbors probably wouldn't buy it.

Anon said...

Beautiful.

Amelia said...

Loved this so so much. Thank you Cjane. Let the meat fall from the bones, whenever or wherever it may.

Amanda said...

i thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts.

Paul and Cathy said...

Ditto to all the comments...and love the photos, your whole family is so photogenically adorable!

Kris said...

Yep. And it makes for a great backdrop/feature for kid's photos. I have photos of my grandson and granddaughter in their grass nests. They loved to play in it, to tear it off and "cook" it. It supported endless games. Sometimes, the grass has to be long. Their Dad doesn't cut grass (or vacuum) and their Mum was heavily pregnant with a new sister. We remember that time fondly.

ureallyannoyme said...

Service projects are good! Cutting grass for two able-bodied, youngish adults is not a service project.

Delirious said...

It never occurred to me that I was reading "end of summer" posts, but now I realize that you are right, that is what everyone is writing. It also never occurred to me to write one myself. But if I had to write one, it would be very different from those wrote by others. I would write about how I have heat intolerance, and when fall comes, I can finally breathe again! Something about the cool air invigorates me and gives me life! While everyone is mourning the loss of the heat, I will be celebrating!

Kath said...

Grass is itchy.

Terri-Ann said...

Cutting the grass is the one chore my husband and I fight over. I like it long with my push mower, he likes it like a golf green with the electric mower. Whoever cuts it, gets to cut it the way they want. We race to get things done, or rejoice over a sunbeam peaking through a rainy sky that means we can run out and cut the grass. I usually do it with my baby in the carrier and a two year old clinging to the cross bar of the mower. Amazing that so many memories can be held up in such a beautiful green blanket.

Unknown said...

Oh, those are gorgeous photos...

Tiffany said...

That was doggone beautiful. A perfect way to end summer.

And I think an uncut lawn is the next-best-thing to a lawn that's been turned into a veggie garden.

atwood828 said...

I agree with ureallyannoyme. He deserves that gift card! If he was caring for the lawn of an elderly couple or helping someone who is in need of the service that would be one thing, but for a younger couple physically capable of mowing their own lawn? My almost 60 year old dad mows his neighbors' yard all summer. They are an elderly lady and her daughter who has MS. That's service! But a young guy mowing your yard? He should be compensated for his time and the service he provides.

Christy said...

That was BEAUTIFUL!

Julie said...

Love your essays and writing! Not to be a "hater", but I have to agree that your neighbor mowing your lawn (even though I'm sure you never asked and he does it from the goodness of his heart)does warrant a recognition from you guys. I think the gift card idea is wonderful! Combine a gift card with a note of thanks would be the perfect way to recognize the good deed. Maybe make a it a tradition to give him a little gift a few times a year as a thank you.

neal said...

Definitely a jungle out there. If you turn the sprinkler on and let it run into a rivulet, things could go all the way to Lord of the Flies, or even Heart of Darkness.

renee said...

Yeah,... Don't get it. You can't mow your own law? Get real
(now why don't you sic your friends on me like you do with your instagram feed...)

Cheryl said...

No one was being rude to you; they were just picking up on your own comment that perhaps you should get the young man a gift card (which really is a nice idea). I, too, saw your instagram feed, and it wasn't what I expected of you. Then again, it's not the first time I've seen you make fun of your readers. I like to think you're better than that.

19acf86a-3bae-11e1-b9bc-000bcdcb5194 said...

I, too, was taken aback by the 'service project' comment. If you were elderly or disabled it would sound like a lovely gesture by this young man. But to take advantage of his generosity by two young, perfectly capable people just sounds lazy and cheap. He may be mowing because his parents (and other neighbors) don't want to look at your neglected front yard, but he deserves some sort of compensation. Or take the hint and do it yourself. - Perhaps consider it a service project for your neighbors.

Tori said...

I would be less worried about the snakes and more about the mice that have been lounging in the lush grass all summer. They will be headed into your house (and your neighbors) as it starts getting colder.

Don't get me wrong, I am a Cjane fan, but the "weekly service project" got me too. For YOU, the receiver of said service, to declare that your neighbor can do it as a weekly service, is a little off-putting to me. Give that kid a gift card and a thank you note. He might be doing it as a service to himself (or his parents) so they don't have to look at the long grass.

Anne said...

Cutting the grass can be excellent exercise. Just sayin'! (Don't get riled up, Azucar.)

Jill F said...

Maybe just a tad self indulgent these days. I generally think your writing is beautiful and that you are a beautiful person. I hope with all your heart searching you are taking plenty of time to look outside yourself.

Anne said...

I thought about deleting my comment, but I decided to leave it there. It's sooo much fun when Azucar gets her knickers in a twist and defends Cjane. Now, let's see what happens...

Jewels said...

I love the idea of growing as much as we can to store up strength for the cold winter ahead.
Lovely.

L said...

Lovely post. Altough some people seem to think you ought to pay your sweet neighbor. I think it says something nice that he doesn't expect anything in return. However, a hearty thanks is probably in order and I would assume that you and Chup do that already. Now for a quick question. I love the pics in this post but they made me wonder...what color are your baby's eyes? I remember you mentioning that you hoped her's would be blue like yours. I can't tell. Are they?

Danielle said...

I love your brain, your words, and your sarcasm. Thanks for writing.

the fowlers said...

i'm so jealous of your grass. here we have to worry about snakes AND fire ants AND scorpions AND nasty water bugs AND ticks, etc, etc, even with short grass. i just dream of a lawn i can lounge in.

kira lee said...

beautiful.

Lisette said...

Man alive, I'm pretty sure she was using sarcasm? Lighten up, peeps!

Azúcar said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Lizzy said...

BEAUTIFUL!

Grace said...


Azúcar said...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

September 24, 2012


Courtney, maybe you should think about requesting that this particular friend keep the childish antics away from your blog and any mediums connected to it.

This is obviously a relationship you value, but I have to say - it's kind of telling that she chooses to antagonize readers via public platforms rather than sending you a snarky text message like a normal friend.

It's ultimately your brand that things like this reflect badly on and in turn your income that will be affected - not hers.

If you view this blog as a business venture, I think it's in your best interest to consider putting certain boundaries into place.

Just my $0.02.

Moxie said...

You don't have ticks in Utah? Lucky. There's no (human) vaccine for Lyme disease or ehrlichiosis. What's the vector for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever?

Cindy said...

I wouldn't doubt that your neighbor's shirtless son probably mowed it due to parental commentary. Aren’t there codes restricting lawn height and required elimination of noxious weeds in your suburban community? Consider yourself fortunate no one has called the county to complain. Unfortunately, your lawn is not native, natural, hippie, or live-and-let-live. It's overgrown and visually displeasing. It’s a hazard and insulting to those surrounding retro house who take pride in home ownership. Allowing the lawn to grow tall will not produce the same visual desirability as allowing native grasses to grow. Typical lawn grasses are not bred to rival native grasses. But, by adopting this landscape ‘strategy’, unwanted (weedy) plants get a foothold, flower and go to seed. Dispersal of the seed to other lawns is typically via bird droppings, pet hair, human clothing, and wind/breezes. This link may prove informative. http://www.utahweed.org/PDF/FieldGuide_Ed4.pdf

In the landscape world, a concept known as 'cues to care' exists. It means you can enjoy native grasses and forbs in the yard. However, these plantings must be easily identifiable as consistently maintained within these cues. Some examples of cues are boulders/rock walls, mulched boundaries, sidewalks, etc. Your lawn just says unmotivated, unkempt and unneighborly. I have to hope, from a community perspective, this is not your goal. Not everything is natural and beautiful to everyone. Having said that, I will refrain from commentary on the posted end result of your showy abandonment of a bra.

Oh yeah, I'm with some of the others here. Give the kid some cash for Heavenly Father's sake! Your attitude and lack of measurable appreciation is the epitome of egoism, not individualism.

Finally, may the sun continue to shine in your backyard and warm your backside. THAT is a true blessing.

Maria said...

Ok, here's my take. Neglecting your lawn = spiritual liberation? Not paying your amazing neighbor boy in some form or fashion, not even a thank you note?!! Maybe he is doing it as a service project, or maybe to keep the front yard from being all overgrown like the back for the sake of the neighborhood. But whatever the reason, he deserves some thanks. I echo what others have said...if you were an elderly couple, or you were a single mother or something, then I get the "weekly service project." But to an able bodied couple such as yourselves? Please pay the sweet guy in some way! Even an elderly couple would find some way to thank him--maybe cookies or something, for crying out loud. I could never imagine taking advantage of someone like that. And that is just what you're doing. Putting a "service project" spin on it doesn't change the fact that you're taking advantage of him.

And maybe you don't worry if you get bit by a venomous snake, but what about your little ones?

I just don't get hippies at all. That's the impression I am getting. And the picture at the end of the post seals the deal.

candice said...

We have snakes in my yard( springville, Utah). My lawn is super short! We've seen them out on the sidewalk for corns sake. I'm glad you never had an encounter with one!

Jenny (also) said...

We all can use a little help from our neighbors! Debating what is and is not a service project seems uncharitable to say the least. This is exactly this kind of LDS cultural stuff Courtney has been talking about and quite frankly what gives y'all (an apparently well earned) bad reputation.

Anyone else laugh out loud about Maria's comments on "hippies?" Hilarious.

Unknown said...

This taking advantage thing is cultural. When I was in a YW pres. the girls were asked to help a young family clean their house because they were moving. The husband sat on the couch watching golf while we wiped up pubic hairs on his bathroom floor. Another time, the wife of a dentist provided all the relief society with a list of items she needed to welcome a new baby they were adopting from China. A list went around for people to sign up to bring them meals. The night we took them dinner the parents were out to dinner already.

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

I love the picture of Ever and Erin. Ever looks like she just grew out of the ground and Ever looks like she's thinking, "I don't remember planting a baby there?"

louBlou said...

Is it acceptable to lust after the neighbours' shirtless son? If so I would be happy lying back on a lounger with a cocktail, looking over the top of my sunglasses - Ooooh young man!! It reminds me of that video Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom he he

Gigi Gamboa said...

Haters gonna hate huh? I like how the lawn mowing became the focus, when it is so not the focus of this piece.

Beautiful words, beautiful photos. I love the summer time and this is a little bit of why.

Taren said...

How does your neighbor's twenty-something shirtless son feel about vacuuming? Make that happen. His future wife will thank you. Two weekly service projects are better than one!... but that's just my elderly Mormon persona talking.

wesley's mom (sue) said...

The whole "taking advantage thing" is what first drew me to Mormonism. I so enjoy sucking the life and charity out of my friends and neighbors.

Sierra said...

Oh, how this makes me long for fall.
Hope all is well.
xoxo,
Sierra
Oh, Just Living the Dream

likehonestly said...

Don't let the judgemental people commenting above get to you. Continue living your life as you want to live it!

19acf86a-3bae-11e1-b9bc-000bcdcb5194 said...

likehonestly,
You mean all of those "judgemental (sic) people" who think a neighbor who mows your lawn for free every week because you don't want to do it yourself deserves some sort of thanks/compensation? Yeah, they sound like horrible people.

If CJ didn't want people to comment, I don't think she would leave comments open. And she doesn't seem like the type of woman who can only handle comments that blow rainbows and unicorns up her backside. I'm pretty sure she's not that fragile.

Jenn Fiala-Fetterman said...
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Jenn Fiala-Fetterman said...

>>>
If CJ didn't want people to comment, I don't think she would leave comments open. And she doesn't seem like the type of woman who can only handle comments that blow rainbows and unicorns up her backside. I'm pretty sure she's not that fragile. <<<

I have a thick skin myself, but as a seasoned journalist and writer, I know that the cloud of criticism drops acid rain. It can burn a hole in the most solid of psyches.

C Jane, you are my favorite writer. Not blogger, but writer. I come here to read literary prose, and I suspect many others are here for the same reason.

With that in mind, I wonder whether it's the blogging forum itself that invites people to peck away. Does anyone truly care whether you ever pay the nice lawn-mowing man or wallow in a grass jungle out back?

Bravo C Jane. You're talent has come along way. Don't get discouraged by what seems to be a constant barrage of naysayers.

MissRissa said...

I read this blog for some inspiring, lovely writing. I read the comment section of this blog for some eye-rolling ridiculous comedy.

Whitney said...

Not going to lie, I'm bummed about the lack of a Portland post! I thought it aws awesome that you visited my city this summer, and was expecting some sort of recap... at least about the wings at Pok Pok, the biscuits at Pine State, or Poutine at the carts on Hawthorne. :)

Crystal Critchfield said...

Oh, how I've missed you and your beautiful writing. Love this post. Thanks for sharing. xo

Lee-Ann said...

Funny because our backyard is similar and grass cutting is a topic that often goes back and forth at our house as well. Our front yard is manicured to perfection Mon/Wed/Fri by our crazy neighbour who is constantly on my front lawn but that is a story for another day.

Elizabeth said...
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Elizabeth said...

We understand sarcasm. It is just not always easy to pick up in writing.

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Dear al, said...

Some people remain in 'the' box. Can't see past 'the' box and will probably die in 'the' box. Serve out of love, accept service without guilt, no strings attached. Free the guilt and fear and expectation of the culture. Realize your relationship with H.F. is your own, not how your neighbors percieve you or if you allow someone to mow your lawn or not or if someone you serve sits on their can the entire time. Bravo CJane, keep it coming...lets destroy 'the' box!!!

Heather said...

I hope your "healing" summer has helped. I miss your writing. I may not always agree with what your saying, it's a bit too "power to the woman" for me(I think "power to the human" is more my speed)but boy oh boy, you are a beautiful writer with a beautiful soul.

Angela said...

"your showy abandonment of a bra."

Now, that person is a writer! Near bard-like in her critisism!

I didn't notice your showy abandonment because I was too busy you know, reading your words. I think lawns signify a greater personal philosophy. One that involves the idea of man's dominion over nature and all of its false confidence. But then again, I don't get snakes in my yard. And weeds are a state of mind.

Lizzie Bay said...

In other words, what this post is really saying, is me and the Mr. (oh wait that is nienie) would rather sit on our arses and fondle our electronic devices than get up and move. Another way of convincing oneself that it is "ok" if my hubby has not yet fit into the Clark male role and bro-inlaw role of manly yard work. Instead this area which is lacking is embraced with beautiful descriptions such as "extra padding", "swirling" grass and a "puff of clouds." This is just too great! Good on Chup for standing his ground and not giving in to the traditional Clark yard work mold, where all the others have caved! Oh just think of the utter shame and humiliation that has had to be endured!

marialuigi said...

Fascinating that everyone assumes the Kendrick Family hasn't thanked their kind neighbor. Such superficial thinking. I am certain that the words are spoken.

I find the Mormon culture (specifically Utah county) so interesting...it can be extremely small in scope, understanding and tolerance...which is exactly how it should not be.

CJane...stunning writing. Thank you. (I'll put a gift card to Outback in the mail...later.)

Melissa Brickman said...

If ever we get a house from the home loans hawkesbury deals, I'll definitely spend as much time with my family like you do. This is so beautiful!