Thursday, June 13, 2019

Make America Get Shakes Again



We attended our kids' neighborhood drama camp performance last night. All four of our kids were in the play--Anson was a politician, Ever was a society woman, Erin was a sister in the central family, and Iris was a lamb. How cute is that? She even had a solo part of just passionate lamb-tail shaking. They all were fantastic thespians last night, we were so proud.

As it customary in America, we took the kids to get shakes after their performance. Two strawberry, one chocolate and one vanilla. CK got to talking about his thespian days at BYU. He even had some old pictures of him in Shakespearean costumes on his phone. This is neither here nor there but one time CK was in a production of The Tempest which was re-imagined taking place in the old west, and he had to deliver all of his lines as Foghorn Leghorn. Nothing makes sense in this world. Now that I think about it.

Anyway, this lead us down a path of taking about a local theater professor who was widely known to use power dynamics to sexually prey on his female students. I knew about this from a companion on my Mormon mission who experienced some weird stuff, and CK knew about it from some of the students who had experienced it. We're not exactly sure what happened after it was reported by students, but you'll never guess what happened next! His career bloomed! Still blooming! "Intellectual" Mormons love his stuff! I'm getting testy so I am going to move on to the next paragraph!

At this point our kids had checked out, we thought.

"Mom, that guy your talking about reminds me of the law professor in Legally Blonde," Ever chimed in, swirling her shake. "You know, the one who harassed Elle Woods."

Uhhhhhhhh.Yessssssss.

Ever and I watched Legally Blonde a couple weeks ago. I was contemplating taking the LSAT and needed some inspiration. Yes just wrote that sentence.

I was nervous about some of the stuff in that movie to show a nine year old girl. Not crazy about "bend and snap" or some of the autopilot cultural tropes, but I did want Ever to consider that all women--even the type you might write off for being fluffy and trophyesque--can surprise you. Also, don't let your life become central to a boy. Also, use your innate assets to your advantage and to show up for the less advantaged. Also, the ability to work hard in whatever endeavor you pursue is the most valuable of all human achievement. Also, "law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious."

Which is why I am probably not going go, but anyway...

But anyway, how does my nine year old budding thespian daughter understand (partly from pop culture references) so easily what men are still struggling to grasp? It's not that hard fellas! Consider women as independent human beings that owe you nothing. That's it! COME ON.

"Well, my body feels like it's done having this shake," Ever wrapped up the conversation. She's been working really hard on listening to her body's cues about food, stress, and safety. I can't believe how much she can grasp self-care and prioritize her intuition at this point. I still struggle every day of my life.

The next generation of thespian sexual predator professors are screwed. And I DO NOT mean that literally.

Makes me want a hot dog, real bad.