Don't Stop Me Now (I am Having Such a Good Time)(Having a Ball)
I've set my timer for ten minutes to write out my brain and here it goes:
I am happy.
I don't know what "happy" means, but I think it means that I am maintaining boundaries with toxicity. I've been feeling pretty peaceful.
I feel like it's a miracle that I have friends. And I feel like I have a lot of them considering my social output. I have text threads with friends, facebook groups filled with women I adore, evening adventures and weekly lunch dates. Even the rare phone call (that's when you know you are deep, inner circle) which may last for hours. CK and I often hang out with some incredibly funny, smart, talented couples/ COUPLES! How is this possible? I am such a grumpy troll who calls the indentation on my side of my bed my "office." Will wonders ever cease?
Will we always live our lives wanting to lose 20 pounds? I mean, outside of body acceptance (ongoing) I have perhaps accepted as well the sentiment that a lot of Americans share--we have 20 pounds to lose. It doesn't matter what my weight is--I always think 20 pounds will cure whatever ails me.
I am not going to lose 20 pounds.
It will not cure me.
Last Sunday we had a marathon dinner party for the Academy Awards. We had maple-crusted pork, sauteed green beans, Brussels sprouts in Gruyere sauce, garlic swirl rolls, CK's sour creamed potatoes, crostini with spinach artichoke dip and yellow cake baked with mounds of chocolate. All the kids went next door for movie night and the adults stayed out our house to watch the awards and have drinks. The adults are: me and CK and our BFFs from next door. And this is why I am not leaving Provo. Also because this is my neighborhood:
I took this photo yesterday. Right after that, Timpanogos (the white mountain) started flirting with the sunset and the sunset must of said something sexy because that gorgeous mound of dirt-and-time started blushing and turned fuchia in the face. I almost felt embarrassed to be watching!
Just as we finished our meal (back to that storyline) CK fell asleep underneath a table in the kids fort. (He had been to a weekend party with a group of men and they philosophized and talked about life and stayed up until five in the morning. He was teenage tired.) We only knew where he was when he started snoring during an acceptance speech.
I was disappointed Green Book won. I thought the movie was a trite piece of rom com pie. I didn't even think it deserved an Oscar nod, much less the grand prize. But I was thrilled Olivia Coleman and Regina King won! Lots of awards for women filmmakers this year!
But other than that (and the stupid thought about the 20 pounds), yeah, I am pretty good.
(From BYU's SMART SPACE gallery currently showing! There's a lot of intriguing art showing up on campus right now!)