Monday, July 9, 2018

Happy Little Bluebirds


Hello I'd like to report a situation here. As previously recorded on this perpetually sporadic blog, we live in an old home that boasts an industrial swamp cooler. This contraption takes our extremely dry and unforgiving desert air and turns our home into a Louisiana bog. It curls my hair like a product from an overpriced salon counter, and if we're not careful, will make the entire expanse of our property smell like mellow dramatic mildew.

But it does the job, make no mistake. We can sit cool all summer off this relatively cheap air system. Cools the entire house! We're also ducted for AC, but we've never even turned the thing on in the decade we've lived here. No Sir, there is no Women's Winter here at Retro House. Just curly hair, damp air and a faint smell of wet, wilting feet.

But Erin, bless her, hates that it's a bit loud. It does in fact sound like a 747 about to dive into the skies from the runway. And it blows in the Green Room like only Dorothy can imagine. So in total, it does produce a bellowing tornado of sorts in the room meant for her to play in, and that's why she turns it off.

And the great Utah Desert Melt begins.

The situation is dire, but what can I do? If I make her turn it back on, the kids will migrate into the other parts of the house where I am known to spend time, meaning of course they will want my attention. If we leave it off, they play gladly in there, not even noticing my existence until their bio rhythms report hunger.

Either I voluntarily will myself to be punished by the heat of the desert sun but get to sit and listen to David Sedaris read his brilliant books in undisturbed joy and solitude or I remain cool and comfortable while my children wrap their needs and wants around my existence.

There is no job harder than being a stay at home mom during the summer. Ok? I know I haven't' had all the jobs but this is the hardest. But don't feel too sorry for me because as I have been writing this post I traded with the kids screen time for: ten minutes of a back massage and ten minutes of a head massage and now, despite the heat, I feel positively over the rainbow.

As Dorothy would say.