Wednesday, April 11, 2018

They Call It Sea Lice, Actually

Wellllllll, ok. So where were we?

Oh right. We're right back to talking about my endlessly intriguing life. So first, I went Austria.



Oh just kidding. I went to Midway, Utah. That was a fun night. We tried a new restaurant and the evening was one of the first slightly warm ones we have had in awhile but they seated us next to a fireplace and it was just the perfect temperature and the food was local and lovely.

And then there was the day the girls and I wore matching striped leggings, but only a few of us were committed so it didn't last past this picture. I AM LOOKING AT YOU ERIN AND IRIS.


We went to Idaho for Easter and Spring Break. It's really sad because we did some cool things, went on some beautiful hikes and I have no pictures of it so I can't exactly prove it. That's the problem with suspending your social media accounts, you don't have incentive to take photos. I mean, beyond "memories." Oh wait I just found this photo I took during a roadside stop somewhere between Utah and Southeast Idaho. I slapped a filter on it so it would definitely look like I HAVE THE LIFE.



Maybe "living in the present" isn't what its cracked up to be? Also, palazzo pants...likewise not what they're cracked up to be, but man, so cozzzzzzzy.

You know what we did do that is worth mentioning? We went to Crystal Hot Springs which is in the very northern hemisphere of Utah in a town tucked into the Wasatch Front called Honeyville. It wasn't just hot springs--I mean, as regulars of hot springs, we know our lava-molten-heated water sources--this is a full on mineral bath. It's like diving into a pool that has been poured into an enormous rusted-out tool box, with the tools left to stew at the bottom. Did that make any sense? (It will if you've been there!) It's called Crystal Hot Springs, but it's not crystal clear water. In fact...were we swimming in hot, steaming robot blood? We could've been. I don't know.

For certain, we all jumped in and in two minutes our life force was completely zapped. The baby (when do I stop calling her that? she's four) didn't talk the entire time we were there and Christopher looked like his spirit had left his body and he was just left to float his days until the zombie apocalypse. At one point, Anson blasted out of the pool and desperately shuffled through our picnic basket until he found a plastic fork and began scratching his legs with it in such a fashion I thought maybe he swam into a poisonous patch of water....until I realized...that's not a thing?

I don't know about any of this. But I did come home with matching strawberry-colored rash on either hips which was free of charge, I think? It occasionally itches, but I don't want you to worry about me because it's definitely NOT like the time last year when hundreds (thousands?) microscopic jellyfish larvae got trapped into my swimsuit on a gorgeous Costa Rican beach and bit me all over my back and belly and it itched and burned so badly I asked to be read my last rights.

Oh man, I said my life wasn't intriguing but that last paragraph is pretty precious. And you know what's funny? Unlike our Easter and Spring Break capers, I DO have a picture of the EXACT MOMENT I WAS DEVOURED BY  THOUSANDS (MILLIONS?) MICROSCOPIC JELLYFISH LARVAE. Here it is:


If only I could time travel and tell C. Jane to GET UP! GET UP! GET UP GIRL AND SAVE YOURSELF SO MUCH ANGUISH! (BTW I also have a picture of the rash itself but I will spare you and your love of hamburger meat.)

And anyway, if I COULD time travel I definitely would have a super incredible intriguing blog, instead of me yelling at lawmakers and posting pathetic Zombie Birthday Parties DIYs.

Alright...so, good to see you. Time to go switch the laundry.

p.s. Definitely giving Crystal Hot Springs two thumbs up. Must try. We loved the adventure of it all. The baby (or whatever I'm supposed to call her now) started verbalizing thoughts about an hour after we left. She's fine now.