Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Beginning of the End

I feel like it's either: get ready to give birth (in the next month or so) or try to blog.

As I think about giving birth I feel less like being public. I feel like gathering in everything sacred to me, really close, and huddling down in a waiting position--which is really like the fetal position when I think about it--but anyway, a position where everything I love is close and we're all loving and smiling and waiting.

I had a dream that I was cleaning up around the house and suddenly I looked down and the baby's head was coming out of me, so I sat down and pulled the rest of the body out. It was like, "Oh, hey you." And that was it. End of dream.

I read a book today about women who dream the gender and the delivery date of their baby. I'm going to try that. I believe in stuff like that you know. I'll let you know if it happens. Because if it comes true more people might try it and there will be less babies born on freeways. Did you think of that?

But maybe you can see why it's either get ready for birth or blog because when I do blog I tend to write about birthing and weird things come out (like a baby's head). Well, it's not that they're weird to me, because I'm a sensationalistic birthing woman, but they're probably really weird to the majority of public blog readers.

You know though, public blogging birthers have done more for me and my ideas about empowerment in birth than just about anything else I've read (I've read A LOT, all of it, everything probably) and so, maybe I should write while I'm getting ready to give birth--for others.

But also, as I get closer to birthing I want to make an accounting of everything I love about the way my mom mothers. So maybe I'll focus on that for awhile.

Which brings me to wonder: why are you reading this?

Anyway, I'm glad that you are.