I've come to realize that women are really good at fooling themselves about all sorts of things. We see that others have a perfect family, a perfect life, perfect hair. Lots of perfect something. We see none of these things in ourselves.
But there are other things, too.
We fool ourselves into believing "that's not me, not my problem, not my weakness, not my life."
We fool ourselves into believing that pornography is a man's disease.
It is not. It is a human disease and women are just as subject to its binding chains.
And not because the men we love are addicted. Yes, a husband's addiction can destroy a family. But, women can be addicted, too. To the drama that comes with playing the victim, to the self-loathing that comes with wondering why, to the images of men and women which stimulate certain types of feelings. We fool ourselves into thinking that we are immune to attraction, that we do not see the beauty of the human body, that we are not drawn to the act of creation and all its wonders.
It is a lie, and every time we tell it we injure the women who are caught in the poisonous web of pornography.
Anyone, male or female, can become trapped. As women, we must acknowledge this truth. It's not just about what HE is seeing. It's about what SHE is seeing, too. And reading. Magazine articles, steamy romance novels, and all those fifty shades of in between. I've read the books. I've seen the movies. I've watched for moments of bared flesh and intimate moments. I've felt sick, I've felt lonely, I've felt frustrated, I've felt unclean.
This is not a man's disease.
I don't mean to sound accusatory. Only honest. I read about how pornography tears marriages apart and it's always men who are addicted. We never hear about the women. I don't know if it is intentionally being hidden, but I can't believe I am alone in this struggle. The conversation has to change.
No more lies. No more fools. Only love, acceptance, and moving forward.
Because that's what I would want for my daughter.
Surely that is what God wants for me.