Friday, January 25, 2013

Selfie on a Friday Morning

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Provo is an ice skating rink.

Yesterday morning we had rain. As it fell through the soupy, warm inversion air it hit an especially frigid cold pocket below and turned into ice. Rain-turned-ice was falling from the sky and it splattered and spread all about the ground.

I went visiting teaching last night with my pregnant companion Gretchen. As we went from house to house I worried she would slip and fall. She has Floridian legs, used to the grass and sand, toes that don't freeze, knees that don't know the crunch of ice as they hit the ground. But she managed and I was impressed with her cautious confidence.

Our visiting went well into the late, foggy night. We started at Shannon's house where it always smells like a rich dinner of spices and makes me consider my own diet. Then to Rebecca's house, decorated with her patchwork quilts in bright colors and cheerful patterns. Last to Zina, who teaches us with her cache of enlightening thoughts about life and religion. It was at Zina's house we found ourselves unable to leave, wanting more. If ever I have known a prophetess, it's Zina in her power and compassion-laced conviction.

I took Gretchen home, stopping as we always do to cover our lives, check in with each other and share any details of need. Gretchen has been a Godsend to me this past year. I've found great peace in hearing her history and wisdom. I offered over a dozen times to walk her to the door--like a daughter with her elderly mother--elbow to elbow, but she resisted. So I drove on.

At home I wobbled across my frozen dew drive way. I thought about all the people we watch skate back and forth across the bustling road we live on. All day long we watched people gingerly navigate the slippery sidewalks, some choosing to glide, some falling, some using excellent balance techniques--like trapeze workers on the circus tight rope.

As soon as I hit the pillow my mind was out, and would've liked to remain that way if it weren't for those nasty nightmares you get when you are four years old. I saw lightening in the sky earlier in the evening and in my hopes of teaching Anson how magical the world can be, I told him about the flashing sky with the pink clouds. Before he fell asleep he had convinced himself it was an beaming alien space craft dumping pink toxins into our lungs. I quickly saw my errors and spent the whole night in bed with my children, warding off aliens even though I had long-promised they don't exist.

This morning Chup protected me from my beeping alarm clock, inviting me to sleep in a bit after a restless tour of night watch. I woke up remembering I had chopped my hair off last week. In a matter of seconds I went from long, blond locks to short wispies in my natural color--welcoming the few gray strands here to stay. It was totally my choice, something I decided to do for the health of my hair. But is it possible I am mourning my hair a little? Could I have a touch of PTSD about it? How does my mind find time to care? Where is space reserved for the bigger problems of life?

But I didn't have time to process that much--mornings are my work hours.

And I sat down to blog.



p.s. Proof of Provo being an ice skating rink.
BYU campus (around the corner from Retro House):





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14 comments:

Christina said...

The final picture reminds me strongly of your mother and her beautiful smile. I like the dark hair, but I'm biased because I have brown hair with gray. Let's celebrate it.

Mare said...

The ice here really is lethal!
Where's our snow??

but PTSD over hair..?
right.

Jess said...

yesterday morning when i left for work up here in ogden it wasn't too bad, it was mostly snowing and a little rain through the canyon. but when i got home my drive way, sidewalk and everything else was covered in ice. i felt so bad for everyone down in slc and so forth who had to commute in that yesterday.
oh also i really love you with the brunett natural color.

Kipin Alexander said...

I LOVE your hair dark. Really gorgeous with your complexion.

Scott and Rachel Ellis said...

As a stylist I can say Yes you may and will mourn your hair. It's ok. I loved your hair but you made the right choice for the health of it. :) And you do look beautiful...

pollydove said...

You're looking skinny Cjane!!! :)

Carin Davis said...

I just cut my hair off...really short...and I am on the path to my natural color (I died my hair darker than my real color). It has been soooo long since I have known my real color, I am not sure what to expect. The internal debate I have engaged in---trying to decide whether or not to own my gray hair has been ridiculous!

Kris said...

As the first few strands of grey began to pepper my hair I coloured. Eventually though my teenaged children talked me out of it because they think my natural colour is way more awesome than any colour could be. They argued that I couldn't get such a specific-to-me, special colour job no matter how much money I had to spend. Sometimes I am bothered by the fact that i have more grey hair than my mother (Dad is the white-haired one), and others I am just fascinated by it. It was the healthy hair argument that won me in the end. It feels so great now!

Delightful Domestic Science said...

I quit colouring my hair October last year. I like my colour better than anything out of a packet or bowl. I haven't had a hair cut in a long while either. I feel very John and Yoko. Hair peace.

Noni said...

So sad I can't see the pictures on your blog. Do I need to change something?

Noni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle Hunt said...

Hi C. Jane,

I'm new to reading your blog and have really loved it so far! I enjoy your thoughts on parenting and just wanted to mention to you a website that was started by a guy in my ward. He created a web comic and has some funny strips about parenting. They are nice as a comic relief and if you have a second, you should check it out!

Thanks for your thoughts and writing and being willing to put yourself out there so that we can relate to someone/something.

sarah@homeismore said...

I know this truly has nothing at all to do with the topic but I feel it needs to be said - no one rocks the red lip quite like you! I wish I had more than just that simple compliment to leave you with, as I always feel like I've taken something tangible away after reading your blog. Seems less than fitting for my only comment here to be about lipstick but that's all I have for today :)

Bethany Morrison said...

I was really amused by the video. Provo indeed turned into a skating rink, and these kids doesn't even wear skates! Oh and by the way, you hair looks great. Like what everybody say, it goes well with your complexion. -Bethany