Monday, March 5, 2012

Hair at Three Months Post Partum


My baby became three months old a week or so ago. On cue my hair started falling out.
Hair, long dark strands. Hair, everywhere.
Hair, trails of it all over the house, the couch, the carpet, the Turkish rug in the den.
Inexplicable places, hair, on the cereal box of crunchy stuff. Hair, swirling in the laundry basket, stuffed with scented children's clothes and daddy-sized socks. Hair, on my toothbrush?
My bed, its white linens crumpled from the night before, a nest of rust and dark disbanded strands. Every morning I pick it up in handfuls, some of it in knotted clumps on my pillow case, toss in the trash, all that hair.
Sometimes hair will slip out of its designated follicle, down my shirt to agitate against my skin and shirt making me wild for a back scratch.
And the shower walls convey my state, hair displayed like modern artwork, running around the wash basin, cohesive by water and air.
My forefinger and thumb, pinch, and rotate like the cranes we see by the old viaduct, wrecking and building and rotating, my fingers pluck the hair found in weird places, but mostly everywhere, how I am not bald, I don't know.
I'm shedding, shedding, shedding as the pooled estrogen disappears through my body.
It's making me crazy to cut it all off.
To be a bright blond again.
But my husband tells me to relax. The brown is beautiful, the mane I've allowed to grow in wild trusses off my shoulders, inching towards my shoulder blades is doing something for him. Something he begs me to not interrupt.
And so, at nights, its he who brushes out my hair with  his fingers, repeated strokes on my scalp, gathering all those unneeded strands of rust and dark, clinging to his knuckles, stuffed about his carbon fiber wedding ring, a token of devotion not to my hair, but to the mysteries of me.

38 comments:

Aiketa said...

I am worried about that post partum hair lose because I already lose lots of hair... so I don't want to even imagine that...

Natalie Sterling said...

So thats what it is! I am 3 month post partum as well and I have been finding my hair everywhere! I didn't know it was a post partum thing. Huh.

Just SO said...

I've been in the same predicament...except for the fact that my baby is now 9 years old. What's up with that?

Also with Spring showing it's lovely face I've been longing to put some of that bright sunshine color into my hair as well. But blonde and I never seem to get along for more than couple of months. And then my hair is completely ruined. So I shall try to stifle my compunction to return to golden locks and be happy with what I have.

:pG said...

Beautiful, CJane. I lose lots of hair too. Mostly because it is long. Keep on growing it, I say! I have invested in a hair trap for my bathtub. :)

Karen said...

I am 3 months postpartum as well. Hair is everywhere. This happened last time too, but I still worry that I won't get it back. My hair is very fine, so when I lose so much after the baby I look terrible, and then WORSE when it all starts growing back and I have all these wispy bits everywhere. Then once I finally am decent looking again, I get pregnant!

Jenna said...

It's weird because I lost my hair in clumps after my first was born. But after my second, none of it fell out. At all.

natalie holbrook said...

i lost SO MUCH. and i remembered you'd lost hair too and then that made me feel better. (see? BLOGS!) but seriously. i lost so much hair i looked ill. i worry that if i lose hair the next time i'll lose only the long hairs and then be left with my crop of insane shortish hairs. and THEN WHAT. i mean, it was bad.

alanna said...

I don't mind the hair loss. It's the wispy tuffs of regrowth that drive me crazy.

Jacob, Julie & Naomi said...

With my first daughter, I lost so much hair that I had a bald spot on each side of my head. It looked awful. My second daughter is now 2 1/2 months old... I'm getting nervous!

Seth and Natalie said...

Now that my baby is 17 months old I am regrowing all that hair loss. It looks awesome, I put my hair in a pony tail and the nape of my neck sports a mustache. Between me and my 7 year old rapunzel loving girl, there is blonde hair all over the house. It sicks out the boys around here.

aubtobobtolob said...

even more fun than all the hair coming out is the WILD bird tail look that emerges around the crown of your our heads while growing in all that lost hair!

Lisa B. said...

mmmm, beautiful.

Lisa B. said...

(the writing, is what I mean.)

Emily said...

poetry.

Chickadee said...

Fantastic read Courtney. Deep. Almost felt as if I were reading about death...or sex. You outdid yourself!

McEngland like the McCountry said...

I lose mine right on cue at 4 months post partum (About the same time that I started seeing my waistline again. You know a girl can't have it all.) and it all starts growing back in in a thick, bushy undercoat around 6 months pp. I chop and keep it short until the undercoat catches up. Hubs loves a pixie cut on me just as much as he likes it down my back in long, loose tangles. We gotta keep our fellas happy, though. It's nice to have a husband that makes special requests."Wear those red heels" or "I like that dress that hugs your hips the best" or even "Kiss me, girl!"

pollydove said...

I have one daughter who has extremely thin hair. Her cosmetologist sister put in these new extensions (with tape so it isn't damaging) months ago and she LOVES them. Her hair looks amazing! Something to think about, in the meantime. And I know you have your own "hair girl" but my Haley is pretty awesome with extensions, everyone says so, and she is not too far from you - just sayin'. (Courtney Snowden is her aunt - you could meet - it could be a hair par-tay!) :)

Just Us said...

I can deal with baby weight more than the hair shedding. I was so close to pulling a Brittney and shaving my entire head. It drove me crazy! I am still finding hair balls in random places and my baby is 2 years old. At one time I contimplated stuffing pillows and possibly knitting a blanket or something. Why waste so much of a good thing. I like my hair, when it's stuck to my head.

Unknown said...

Maybe you should keep it all and learn how to weave it into intricate designs to hang on the wall like the ones they have in the Beehive House and the Lion House in Salt lake. You don't have anything better to do these days, do you?

Nicole said...

AAAHHH!! I do the same thing. Four times over I've gone through the cycle of losing and re-growing hair. My son just turned one, so I am currently in the phase of having two heads of hair...one that hits my shoulder blades and one that is four inches long, ALL over my head, very curly, with a mind of it's own. Not everyone understands. It's hard!

Sarah Wilks said...

Oh dear, I'm STILL losing hair, and my little one's nearly a year old! Thankfully it's slowed down, and to be honest, I had no IDEA how thick it had gotten (I'm guessing the big bulge I was growing in front was a good distraction...)! My husband brushed my hair for a good month a while back as well...I think more out of curiosity than anything else - think he wanted to see if he could brush my hair and NOT have any come off in the brush...

Shari said...

Leave it to you to make hair loss sound sexy. Ooh la la. :)

Louise said...

At least, it sounds like your hair is growing back in, girls. I haven't been pregnant for years but am experiencing a huge hair loss that does NOT grow back in. It's getting to be embarrassing!

Janell said...

I did too but then someone told me to take vitamins called Biotin. They help with hair and skin! They are found anywhere vitamins are sold look for it and see if it helps! :)

Jen | Our Happy Family said...

Oh I HATE the hair falling out stage...especially after the glowing, thick haired pregnancy stage! It's a challenge to resist cutting it all off, but it's worth it!!

leigh said...

Only you could make hair loss sexy and romantic.

Paige said...

Hahahaha...You're the best.

Sleepless In St. George said...

This was one of those things that no one told me about....I thought I had something wrong with me and even called the doctor cause I was so sure something was wrong with me! I don't know what is worse the falling out or the growing back in spiky hair!

me said...

Hey, just a little FYI, my OB told me to use a VitaminB complex and the shampoo Nioxin (you buy it through salons, kinda pricey) but it works like a charm! Hope that will help your tresses, for you AND Chup ;)

Andrea K. H. Ag├╝in said...

Downright Poetic, that One.

Andrea @ thisredneckllife.blogspot.com

Jennifer Bowman said...

I hear feel your pain. My baby is 8 months and I am still losing hair..it is everywhere! Luckily I have really thick hair but I wonder daily when that will not be the case?!

I laughed when I read the part of hair on the cereal box. I find my hair in random places like that. My car is the absolute worse!

I love the description of your husbands devotion to your long hair. My husband likes mine long too :)

The Wrens' said...

This post is exactly what I was feeling on Friday. My baby is only a few days older that Erin, so I feel ya on the post partum Hairloss!

Allyson & Jere said...

This is my LEAST favorite part of the whole baby process. I don't have much hair to begin with and the post partum loss is OUT.OF.CONTROL! Thanks for upping my anxiety all over again. HA! My baby is coming next month, so I have approx. 4 months before I'm bald. And finally...since I never comment here, I MUST tell you I truly believe Erin is by far one of the CUTEST newborns I have EVer, EVER seen. No really, perfection in every way. I just stared at her newborn pics and each pic you post after. She's darling. Ok, comment officially TOO long.

Jarom & Corinne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jarom & Corinne said...

not having hair is not all that bad! Take it from me Bald is beautiful! I have never posted on your blog, long time reader though. Check out my lack of hair on our blog!

whitneyingram said...

You forgot the part where it gets caught in your vacuum and breaks your vacuum. That was always fun times.

Elisabeth said...

I don't mean to sound negative, but just be glad it isn't gray. That's when things really start to get depressing!!

Elyssium Earth said...

Courtney's a writer. Ner ner ne ner ner. :)