Thursday, March 1, 2012

family update: erin



sometimes i think it was a dream
i had erin.

she came so fast to us
right after ever was born
almost.

and i feel so much differently
about motherhood now
i can't believe
i don't feel
so
overwhelmed
like i used to.

she's so good
and sweet
barely cries
or irritates.

her skin is like
pebbles smoothed by
the ocean's currents
and i could kiss
her face all day long.

and already starting
to flip over
and sleep
through the night.

she's making me want more babies
is what she's doing.

she is dreamy.



question: i find it fascinating when a child's behavior lands outside of the "normal range" in the childhood timetable. kids who walk early, talk incredibly late, crawl at five months or at nine. the outlayers-- they are doing it in their own time, thankyouverymuch. you know of what i am talking about?

45 comments:

Colleen said...

Oh yes. My baby girl is fourteen months old and has shown no interest in walking. And you know what? Easier for me!

Emilie said...

My second daughter never said one word until she was 26 months old. No "mama" or "dada" or anything. I asked the pediatrician if everything was okay. He tested her hearing and said she was fine. At 27 months old she began speaking in full sentences and by the following month she had caught up to and passed every other child her age in speech.

And that's when I realized: Milestone timetables are for suckers. It's not useful if it holds you hostage.

Ana said...

My son is 28 months and he had open heart surgery when he was 10 days old. I always assumed that he would be late for everything. He crawled at 6 months and by 9 months he was walking. "mama" and "papa" were the only words he said for the past couple of months and in this week just started saying "a ball" and "agua" for water and "jugo" for juice. We learned the basic sign language words to communicate with him and he picked those up in just a couple of days. We started potty training him just a month ago and 2 weeks into the training he is a pro at it. He doesn't talk but understands everything you tell him and ask him. He is in the 4th percentile for his age. Sometimes I get really frustrated that he isn't talking because I want to hear his little voice and want to know if he can repeat what I just taught him but when I look and think about how quickly he picks up things and how well he understands everything it makes me understand that kids will do things when they're ready. It already teaches me the lesson that I just have to let him be who he is and do things when he wants to. Sometimes we want them to grow up so fast and can't wait to see who they will become that we forget to really enjoy these times that they're careless and not trying to be better than anyone else. They don't care about that stuff, they just want to play, eat, sleep, and cuddle with you.

Bass Family said...

Oh i totally know what you mean, my Jr won't talk. Granted he is only 14 months, but whenever we try to get him to repeat after us, he stares us down and giggles like we are so crazy for talking. This kid does everything on his own time. incuding sleep. :) This is one adventure i'm glad to be on.

Rachel said...

My daughter is three, and refused to repeat us for a long time. She is just very independent, and didn't think she had to. Now she talks just fine. Every kid is different.

Jen said...

My nearly-one-year-old has no teeth and is barely 17 pounds. But she's bright and has a good appetite and is incredibly active and SO HAPPY. It's strange, though, how quickly we (or other people) make the achievement of those milestones a reflection of our parenting. I get a lot of concerned questions whenever I tell people her age. And then I tell them my husband and I were the very same way as babies. She's a sneaky girl and probably has her own plan.

carblemarble said...

Yes! My boy crawled at 9+ months. Three weeks later e stood up & walked. My little girl, on the other hand, took first independent steps on the day she turned 8 months!

Catherine Dabels said...

My third baby had the exact same effect. At three months I was announcing to the world that I was having more. That led to an interesting struggle but nevertheless my third was chubby and delicious and perfect. I loved that time and I miss him as a baby.

Amelia said...

My fourth baby has been dreamy too, but I still think four is our number. I just hope that if it is, my feelings don't change because I have already lived seven years of my life longing for babies; I don't want to do that again.

I pray the baby hungry years are a part of my past and not my future.

In the meantime I'm savoring this one (which is easy to do because he is OH so sweet)!

Amy Williams said...

My 3rd baby was, in my opinion, a lot like your Erin. Sometimes, I would swear Heavenly Father sent that easy going little sweetheart to me to campaign for the next child... we have been thanking Him everyday since - for the sweet best friend she found in her younger sister. They are 2 years apart and are mistaken for twins constantly. He definately knows what He is doing!

Lisa said...

My 4th didn't walk until 19 months. It is such a blessing that he was not my 1st, because I would have been a worried wreck, instead of just enjoying him where he was. He was the first child that I could take into a church meeting and set down on a blanket with some toys. He was just so content wherever he was.

Chris said...

What a cute little face!! No wonder you want to kiss it all day long.

My oldest son and second baby never crawled. He sat on his butt and scooted himself around by pulling himself forward with his heels. Then he refused to walk until he was 18 months old. Why would he? He was enjoying the butt thing. I've learned this was all due to his own unique personality. He's 17 now and he still likes to do things his way, and as easily as possible.

Seth and Natalie said...

What a beautiful poem. It took until my 3rd baby was one before I could stop feeling so overwhelmed, but he does everything early. He rolled over at 2 months, crawling at 5, walking at 9 months. He's hard to keep up with. It just depends on the day on when or if I'll have another :)

whitneyingram said...

My Violet didn't walk until 3 days before her 18 month mark. She just wasn't interested. And even still, she is happy not being very adventurous. She doesn't climb things and get into things. She is content playing toys reading books. Her walking so late is so much of her personality.

Aiketa said...

Ooooh Erin is such a cutie! And I really like her name, as I like Ever too.

Kindra said...

So true. My first crawled at 5 months walked at 10 my second crawled at 9 walked at 15 months but he just turned two and is going in the potty everyday. Proof they are come with as their own people!

LRP said...

one penny - outliers.

Steve and Alli said...

My 3.5 year old has been walking to the beat of her own drum since she was born, never a fan of my chest, rolled herself right into the side of the plastic hospital bassinet, started holding a bottle at 2mths, crawling at 5, walking at 10mths. It took a whole year to convince her that using the toilet was actually pretty awesome, and she has been slower to talk than most kids her age, but more inclined to activities that 4-5yr olds enjoy. She is fearlessly independent, which has me scared for her teenage years already, and she's never worried about losing me in the crowd, in fact she prefers to be an arms length away from me, but she can't ever be close enough to Dad. She's a free-spirit already, but I'm glad she taught me right away not to care so much about all those milestones that everyone puts too much emphasis on.

Kristy said...

My little love is almost 18 months and just started walking about 2 weeks ago. She didn't crawl until she was 1. She's just not interested. And it's heavenly! They all figure it out on their own time. I love that. Your little E is super-cute! I don't know a little E who isn't super-cute (but I may be biased as I have my own little E.)

Jessalee said...

My first was speaking in sentences before his first birthday, and I knew no different until other parents showed their amazement. My second rolled and crawled early and was walking by nine months. Each kid does it in their own time. It is fascinating though, the differences and how they each sort of catch up to each other in the end.

Atlantic Beachlife said...

So three may not be *that* number after all? I have to smile. When pregnant you said you were going on and on with this. After Erin it was all, "Three is for me," and now...

I knew that two was NOT my number the minute after stepping off the plane with my precious blessed blossom from Korea. The urge and ache was there and it lasted from 1998-2004...until the husband either relented or God worked in his heart to help him see things differently. I had sort of given up the hope of 'that third child' but the second he professed a mild interest I was back in the zone! And days laster web photo showed her face!

Nikki said...

She is so cute it makes me want other babies, and my baby is almost 13!!

Angela said...

I guess that's an advantage of not ever being around babies and being the first of my friends to have one--I have nothing to compare my five week old to. This is also a disadvantage though, since I am having to learn everything as I go. I really don't have a baseline for "normal" baby stuff.

Thank goodness my mom comes to visit about once a week to help me out.

blaine and michelle said...

My baby didn't walk until 16 months, now at 18 months she still only has 4 teeth. She also only weighs 18 pounds. There is no such thing as normal.

Jennifer said...

My Josie does everything in her own time. The doctors call her "globally delayed" but to me she is just my Josie. She didn't walk until her second birthday. Now that she is 3, she is talking more and more. She finally said, "Mommy, I love you." Totally worth the wait!

Melinda said...

All of my kids walked early, two of them at 8 months and two at 10 months, its always weird to see these little tiny babies walking! haha My youngest is barely talking at almost 2 and I'm thinking, he'll get there when he's ready. (And yet, he wants to potty train himself, what a weirdo!)

sues2u2 said...

My first one hit the milestones right on target because of early intervention. He as a NICU baby who had serious issues but now? He's over 6'1", is strong, very intelligent & is amazing. But my second? She did everything as fast & early as possible! She sat by herself @ 4 months, crawled @ 4 1/2, walked by 7 1/2 (only because brother was secretly encouraging her! We were Discouraging her! ha,ha) & spoke almost from the start it seemed. She ran everywhere & still talks a mile a minute. Oh & while son was a 1 1/2 weeks overdue daughter was 11 days early. I even had a scheduled c-section that she decided to move up because she was in such a hurry to be borne! You just never know, right?

Beth Allen said...

It seems like the more I have the more I want. How can I forget about morning sickness?? And labor?? That really hurts. Still seems to happen, though. hmmmmmmm.

Amy said...

just in case you miss LPR's comment...it's "outlier" not "outlayer".
I don't want to be one of "those people", but you're such a good writer and you probably don't want to make this mistake twice.
Love your blog!

Andrea said...

When my son turned 3 he spoke 5 words of English. He was fluent in his own language (we called it Cowenese). My MIL was panicked but it didn't bother me. I knew I'd miss his language. And I do.

Cheryl said...

Two of mine were 19 months and 21 months before they walked. My doctor said there is such a wide range of normal and not to pigeon hole our kids.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

(BTW I LOVED the fact the twins did not walk till 14 months :) Indeed they did not start crawling till a week or so before walking. They made my life a lot easier than it could have been!)

Amy said...

All kids are different and when mine were young it drove me crazy worrying mine were not doing what their peers were at the same time. And mothers can sometimes be burdened by this when comparing them to other kids similar ages.

Kids do things when they are ready. Case in point, son walked at 12 mos and twin daughters at 14 ON THE SAME day. If that isn't a case for genetics and 'when they are ready' I don't know what is!

Elizabeth said...

It amazes me how different they all are, its such a good lesson- what's normal anyway? My 1st crawled for a couple of weeks and started walking at 7 months- there was nothing that would hold her back. My 2nd baby walked at 12 months and based on the older one I almost thought something was wrong with her! Honestly it was so much easier to have her walk later and since she had an older sister to follow she didn't get into quite as many things around the house. So different!

Carrot Jello said...

Well I hate to brag, but my baby is already speaking from the womb.
Sure, some say it's just my gastric juices, but I know for a fact it's actually the baby speaking.
It's just a higher language.

Carrot Jello said...

Well I hate to brag, but my baby is already speaking from the womb.
Sure, some say it's just my gastric juices, but I know for a fact it's actually the baby speaking.
It's just a higher language.

Carrot Jello said...

Uh...you don't have to post my multiple comments.

One is sufficient.
My other personalities were trying to get in there, and I'm like, "Hey! Why don't we all combine?"

Notes from Holly St. said...

oh, she is precious! as a mom to a one-year-old, I have learned to put away the baby books and sit back and enjoy the ride. Every child hits their milestones on their own time and we just need to support and guide them whenever they're ready.

Loving these family updates, by the way :)

LeAnn said...

At my sons one year check up, he had never rolled over, never pulled himself up, never crawled, and was not walking. Our pediatrician was pretty certain he had muscular dystrophy...thank goodness for second opinions. He is now our happy, healthy, walking two year old who just wanted to save his lazy parents from the task of baby proofing!

Heather said...

It is amazing, my red-headed first born slept through the night at birth, held her head up at birth, sat up unassisted at 4 months, crawled at 5, cruised at 7, walked at 8 months!

Meanwhile, her big sister is coming up on 4 and refuses to be fully potty trained... urgh.

You're right, on their own time :)

Heather said...

Red-headed SECOND born, I mean. oops.

Kris said...

Averages are just representations of every individual's schedule mushed with every other individual's schedule! I am amazed that any kid ever does anything on schedule actually.

It takes a whole world to make an average!

Em said...

i love this so much.

Laura said...

My oldest brother was riding a two wheeler bike by 18 months of age. Can you imagine? I can't because i was 7 when i learned how to do that...