Countdown Day Three!

The Chief, he asks me seventy-seven questions a day.

Why?
Why?
Why?
And one day I asked him to stop saying WHY?
And he said to me, Mom one day I will grow up and stop saying WHY?
And I said, YES.
And he said, WHY?

Ever, she likes me to look at her when we're talking.

If I look somewhere else, she'll cone my chin with her hand,
(like my face is a giant ice cream scoop)
swivel my face to hers
and she'll stare at me intensely with her
unavoidable
unusually large
brown eyes
into my eyes
like she's searching for me.

Erin,wants me to put my phone down.

Put my phone down
and connect.
If I don't put my phone down
she gets huffy.
I don't blame her.
It's hard to text and adore
at the same time.

While adding up all these behaviors

I came to the conclusion that my children only want honesty from me.
They want honest answers, honest connections, honest intent.
They want the real me, the true me, the part of me that feels safe to them.
And if I don't give it to them--my honesty, my realness--chances are they'll seek out someone who will.

But if I crack open my soul 

and let them roll around in all that comes tumbling out,
I don't know,
but maybe
I think
I might do some good in their lives.

3 more days until I start writing my memoir on this blog.



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