Tuesday, February 14, 2012

5 Loves: The One



I was born a lover. Something about me falls easily for other  people. I love to love. As a tribute to the holiday of romance I am writing about the five great loves of my life--for better or for worse--after all what's romance without the heart break?

My first year of marriage with Christopher was a very lonely time for me. I had expected to feel honeymoony nights and breathless mornings. There was none of this. Instead I felt like at any moment Christopher would come through the door of our condo on the hill and say good bye to me forever.

He had not transitioned well from bachelor-to-boyfriend and from boyfriend-to-husband. His inability to hide his anguish left me worried for our future.  When I'd try to unveil him he would become physically uncomfortable, sometimes falling to coughing fits or stomach upsets. I knew he loved me, but I didn't know if he loved us.

Our one year anniversary fell on a hot Sunday in July. My entire family was together milling about on my parent's front lawn waiting for the photographer to take our family picture. As my nieces and nephews climbed all over my tall, beefy husband, I sat down next to my dad who instantly noticed the shadows around my shoulders.

"I don't think we're going to make it Dad," I said breathing in manageable gusts.

Another failed love for me. But not just any failed love, Christopher Kendrick. I loved him from a place of divinity. I loved him because I realized it was my choice to love him, and this empowered me to absolute devotion. He was my choice, and my choice was important to me.

"Well, you can always come back home," my dad said with more compassion he'd ever shown me in my lifetime, "these things happen sweetheart."


Really? I thought. Two divorces in two years? These things happen?

When the photographer showed up I could tell Christopher was uncomfortable posing with my family. I looked around at my siblings--in the throes of seemed perfection--gorgeous spouses, happy offspring, solid careers. What was wrong with me?

Christopher didn't want to have children. He didn't want anything that would bind us together for longer than he could stand. He didn't want to be sealed to me in the Mormon Temple (with it's promises of eternal marriage) and he didn't want me to change my last name to his. Even still, he broke these sentiments to me sweetly, kindly, as though he were killing me with dignity and compassion.

That was the year I learned how to move through valley of the shadow of death.

This was also the year I came to know Heavenly Father honestly, truly exists. When in the face of absolute devastation I learned to put my trust in God. I began to listen to the thoughts in my mind that said,

"Hold on. Don't give up."

I allowed him nights of crying. I listened as he told me he felt hopeless. I stopped controlling everything and just let it be. I started to train my mind to believe that true romanticism was a man and a woman dedicated to work. The battle of it all was one of self-worth, we had to fight to know who we were, and what we were capable of.

I came to realize this:  we think we go from partner to partner because there will be someone "better" for us. In reality, no one is better for us, we just get better for ourselves.

And this: relationships work when we sacrifice negative beliefs about ourselves, and in that process we become the best thing that's ever happened to anyone.

And this: a successful marriage is about two people engaged and dedicated to overcoming selfishness--for the rest of their lives.

Four months after our first year anniversary we were sealed in the Provo temple. After that life was too busy to think much about ourselves--houses, careers, infertility, deaths, birth, birth, birth. When our anniversary rolls around each year we opt out of gifts and instead say simple re-dedication proses to each other,

"I'm dedicated to our work."

Our relationship stands now as the part I love most about myself. He is the reason I can be honest. This respect I feel ranges from serious to silly. Sometimes I feel old in our marriage and sometimes I am as giddy as the day we met. But I am loved by Christopher Kendrick, do you know what that means?

There is not a day that goes by I don't thank my Heavenly Father for cheering us on.

Who knew God was such a romantic?


Epilogue: We are the sum of all our relationships, and that is why I can't regret any of mine. All of these bits and pieces add up to my soul and at the end of the day it's compassion (not travel) that makes us open-minded and wide-hearted. I've said it before, I will never regret emotion spent on falling in love.



Thank you Ashmae for letting me use your images this week.
Visit her blog, Birds of Ashmae if you like lovely words and lovely art. 

100 comments:

Molly said...

This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story.

Rochelleht said...

I love the honesty of that post. The first year of marriage sucks for most of us, I think. This is year 17 for me. I had no CLUE it could be this blissful. I, too, thank God every day for the beauty of this marriage and INCREDIBLE husband.

Shelby said...

I'm trying to hold it together here at work! Answering phones doesn't work well when you're crying, haha! Thanks for all your stories, so wonderful. I'm definitely going to save this as one of my favs, Happy Valentine's day!
Shelby

turleybenson said...

Wow. I will be in shock for the rest of the day. Thank you for this.

Rachae and Janelle said...

Wait a minute - we need more! :) I suppose it's hard to go into detail about something that still exists.... :) but I wish I knew about the transition and how it happened.

tharker said...

Absolutely the best piece you've written. So honest, so open and so heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your story, in all it's bits and pieces.

Emily said...

Oh wow. Wow, wow, wow!!! This was wonderful and so emotional to read. Delight! That last lined killed me "Who knew God was such a Romantic?" Beautiful truth.

Just Jaime said...

BEAUTIFUL. I appreciate your honesty. The epilogue is so poignant and rings so true. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

Ang said...

Ah, Courtney. Beautiful, vulnerable, open, true: everything I love about good writing. Thank you for sharing this.

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

I love the honesty. Sometimes I think people portray only the "good" parts of a marriage, instead of honestly admitting that it is the toughest thing we will do in life. I knew marriage wasn't going to rainbows and butterflies all the time. But I felt a little blinde sided by the "Mormon culture" and portrayl that once you get sealed in the temple, all is good. It is constant everyday work... and yes, I agree with you... constant work of trying to be selfless.
My dad always has said that to me,
"It will be the hardest thing you do in this life. But it can bring you the greatest joy in this life."
Oh how I have learned this in only two and half years of marriage. I find joy in the fact that we have made it through rough patches and come out stronger :)
Thanks for a post that made me feel more normal!

Megan said...

I loved these stories. They made me relive my own relationships and what I've learned from them. You are a gifted and talented writer and I appreciated your allusions to classic romantic couples. This made me grateful for my amazing husband and everything we have together: flaws and joys which come together to make our marriage.

Steve and Alli said...

Amen! This has been an EXCELLENT series for a million reasons, thanks for sharing your talent and your stories with us this week!

melissa said...

My favorite line: "In reality, no one is better for us, we just get better for ourselves."

My dad always told me that he didn't believe there was ONE person for us to be happy with. He counseled me that my list of qualities I wanted in a future spouse was important, but not as important as working on myself and being all those things that I wanted in a future spouse.

I thought of that when I read this post. Wonderful words!!

Autumn in May said...

These stories are beautiful and so moving. Thank you.

Lindsey said...

I already posted on facebook, but I would love part "b" the transition as well. that would be a great story too. :)

McCrazys said...

And this: relationships work when we sacrifice negative beliefs about ourselves, and in that process we become the best thing that's ever happened to anyone.

This really touched me. Thank you for cutting out a piece of your soul and dangling it in front of us greedy bloggers. You really do affect my life.

Colleen said...

My favorite quote that I feel absolutely embodies my journey to my husband is by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. "God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."

And yes, the first year of marriage is most often awful. I think most men don't really realize that they're not just marrying a roommate and slumber party buddy.

Catherine said...

Thank you for sharing your five loves!! I love your honesty and these stories have been some of my favorite things you have ever written. I also loved the epilogue to this post. I can't regret any of the relationships I have been in or the lessons I have learned from them, because they have made me...me. Thank you so much!!

rachel kirk peterson said...

BEST SERIES I'VE EVER READ! i have been thinking a lot about this, and cannot believe how beautiful these stories are. the last two especially spoke to me, and i've gotten so much from your words. i feel like your writing is getting better and better as the years go by!

2busy said...

Thank you for this glimpse into your life. I am so grateful to know how real you are. I thought you were this perfect woman with the perfect marriage...It is nice to know that I am not alone and that it takes work to get there, and there is always room for improvement.

You are a true example.

Barb said...

Beautiful.

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

I think a good subtitle for the piece would be "Grown-up Love." Thanks for sharing it.

Someone In Mind said...

I love this. My thoughts today were in the same area.

http://someoneinmind.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-definition-of-true-love.html

Lindsay said...

Wow! What an amazing piece of writing, and thank you so so much for your honesty and insights. As you looked around at your siblings seemingly perfect relationships, so too have I marveled at your relationship with your husband. That your obviously strong, happy relationship evolved from such a rocky start is encouraging beyond words.

alane said...

I too have had more than my share of "loves". And my wise mother told me after a particularly painful one (somewhat like your 4th...) that the heart learns every time you love and lose. That these other loves teach your heart to open to be loved and love. And that your heart will always have a little corner just for those others. And there is no harm in knowing that. Thanks for the stories. Your honesty is amazing.

Jennifer Shigley said...

So beautiful! It's inspiring to see strong couples go through these times too. Thank you!

Amy said...

Becoming the best thing that ever happened to someone... I'm writing that on hubs card! That's the key...to it all! I've been reading so much about women who have husbands that struggle with addiction and I can testify that if you focus on making yourself the best thing that ever happened to him, you'll be okay regardless of the outcome. Even if Chup was obviously cwazy (just joking) but probably scared and struggling with the magnitude of it all but even if he would have called it quits, you would have been okay because of the growth you made during that year. But I'm so glad you guts worked it out. You both seem so peaceful in your union and he's so crazy about you. Proof that hard work well... works!!!

Teresa said...

you have given me so much to think about. i don't want to taint that by reading anything else today.

ashmae said...

So glad to be a small part. Thank you for sharing your words.

Bev said...

Thank you for writing and sharing "5 Loves" with all of us. I love the Epilogue, but think that travel could co-exist with compassion.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Holly said...

love the honesty, love the writing, love the message

Livyb said...

This just made my day...not even kidding. Beautiful words. You are a writer, Courtney. Good stuff.

Ruth H. said...

I soooo needed to read this today. I'm having one of those days where I feel more like the assistant to the CEO and less like the beloved wife. (Which, since today is Valentine's Day, happens to be bad, bad luck for the CEO.) Thanks for the reminder that marriage--at any stage--truly requires effort and sacrifice. Thanks for the kick in the pants I needed to spend more time improving my relationship and less time complaining about it.

Jodi said...

WAY better than the Twilight Series. Way better.

Laura said...

Wonderful.

Fantastic Mr. R said...

This is the kind of integrity in writing that keep me coming back to CJane. I look forward to more eloquent soul-bearing in the future. Thank you!

Faith, the Authoress said...

I had started feeling as if your blog and I weren't fitting anymore. I can say in all honesty that this blog series is the best and most moving I've read yet. Thanks for making my Valentine's Day.

Leah Edmunds said...

Wow, you kind of just blew my mind--this was not the post I expected from you on V-day, and I bless you for it. There's something about you as a blogger ... a self-confidence that comes from fearless honesty.

Cheryl said...

I am a midwesterner, 50-something Catholic woman...it doesn't appear we have a whole lot in common....but there is something about your writing....I keep coming back....this series summed it all up for me....you are a downright AMAZING writer.....loved it!!!

Rixa said...

Hey, I can comment! Anyway I loved your pieces of wisdom towards the end of the piece. I've had more of the reverse--fantastic first several years of marriage, followed by more challenges as we had children (nothing horrible and huge, but the typical things that come with parenthood: less time for each other, me feeling touched out and not wanting much physical interaction with my spouse, etc). We're happiest when we're working together, which is why we've renovated so many houses over our 13+ years of marriage.

Ryan and Julene Stoianowski said...

So I've been a reader for quite a while now and have felt some connection to you not knowing exactly why, but I will be honest, your story (from the first of the 5 loves to even the last and only) almost EXACTLY follows my story. I actually didn't know someone else in this Moromon world existed. Thank you for sharing and for helping me once again realize on this valentine's day how much I need to revel in the wonderful love I have...I have finally found the man who exemplifies this without even trying (never thought I could say that, especially since I was sealed once before like you:-) This was my face book status tonight:

So romance is wonderful (I'm definitely a romantic and my husband does his best in understanding and appeasing this) but since I've been in a place where this didn't exist, I truly appreciate the man I am with today because he truly epitomizes this without even trying:-)

"True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of ones companion."
Gordon B. Hinckley

Thank you for being so honest with your feelings. Wish I lived closer and we could be close friends:-)

alanna said...

LOVED it Courtney. Thanks for being real. It's so encouraging.
I only wished this post was longer. I could have read it all evening. You are absolutely gifted.

Georgette said...

I remember when I first started reading your blog. You had posted something in the midst of dealing with Stephanie's accident. It was something about Christopher cuddling The Chief close and saying how much he loved 'this baby'. I'll never forget that. Nice to read a sentiment about a man like that (and all of the others).

M cubed said...

THis is my most favorite post ever. THANK YOU for being inspired to write it.

Allysha said...

I think you are brave, CJane. And so is Christopher.

CSB said...

So much I loved about this series. Most of all, your honesty about yourself and your willingness to teach us non-LDS folks about that part of yourself and your family. Thank you for this writing!

Jayne said...

Wow, loved this and waited all day for it. I too thought things went along just swimmingly-but all good marriages take work. tough sometimes gritty work. I could feel your pain on that family photo evening. Imagine the despair that you were fighting.

I'll always remember that Chup was so sad to lose Stephanie's children's blankies (made from their baby onesies) on the drive back to utah and he was sewing new ones. oh, kills me! such a sweet man.
ps-watched your most recent vlog last night and laughed and laughed. you guys are funny. buncha crazy kids.

karen gerstenberger said...

This is one of my favorite posts you've ever written. Thank you for your honesty. It's a gift.

Lizi said...

SO Beautiful! This was a heart wrenching post. I love it. I hope I remember to carry your words of wisdom with me.

A Mitton said...

Thank you. Thank you for opening up a little bit about your first marriage, and thank you for sharing how this one works. I appreciate and am inspired by your words every day.

Sarah said...

There just aren't words for this. Profound, the whole series! And you are a gifted writer! Thank you for taking the time to write it. It's like eating: so satisfying!

SuiGeNeRiS Speaks said...

I am about to hit the one year mark with my second husband....Thank you SO MUCH for this post!

Lauren said...

This is the most truthful blog post I've ever read. You inspire me, Courtney. Thanks for writing.

Kath said...

I am so drawn to you for your honesty. I understand a bit better how you are able to pull this off so effortlessly...being totally and completely loved by another. The only way to get there is to be brave enough to take the journey. You are BOTH brave.

Maria said...

Wow this series was amazing-you are truly a gifted writer! If this is an indication of what your book will be like-wow! I love your honesty and candor about your relationships. I got married in the temple to my husband after we fell head over heels in love after two months and our first two years of marriage were 20% heaven and 80% hell. There were many times when I thought that I had made a huge mistake or like you thought, that I'd wake up and he would be gone. But when the moments were there where I was really about to say I was done, I did have that whispering of the Spirit, telling me to wait-that it would get better-to not quit. I am so glad I listened...now we've been married almost 9 years. It's really cool to see that I am not alone in this - it is hard, hard work. You are so right about how we have to make ourselves better and better. That's what we did-what we do. Thanks for putting this out there-all of it-Girl, you rock!

Tawnie said...

hmm...you left me wanting to hear a lot more. That was just a tease.

Emily said...

It's absolutely amazing the way you articulate my thoughts. Who knew, along with all of your other talents, that you were psychic?!? (Or "physic" as my dad would say and just laugh and laugh and laugh at his own joke that he's made a hundred times.)

The first year of our marriage was the opposite of yours. It was easy (gasp!!! I said it). It was like we were playing house.

Then the trials came; the recurrent miscarriages, the finances, finally the children - the children we prayed and prayed for and (would you believe it) came with challenges!!! It was then that we started to learn about work and selflessness and turning things over to the Lord. 13 years later, it pops up again every other day or so. Funny how the details can be different, but life lessons have a recurring theme.

I would like to thank you especially for that last paragraph. My husband and I talk about past relationships openly. Sometimes, I feel like I should write a personal thank you card to every one of those past girlfriends (and he was 28 when we married, so there were a few). I am grateful for the people that "came before" because we both learned so much from those relationships. Anyway...I thought your wording was impeccable.

Thanks. Happy Valentines Day.

michelle marie said...

You have such wonderful talent - both for writing and for storytelling. Thank you so much for sharing your story and the little pieces of wisdom at the end of this one. "Two people engaged and dedicated to overcoming selfishness" may be one of the best definitions of marriage I have ever heard.

What touched me the most, I think, was what you said in your little epilogue: that we are the sum of all our relationships, which is why you can't regret any of yours. I am also a lover at heart, and the "great loves" of my life have shaped and changed me in different ways that I will always carry in my soul. I have always felt slightly guilty about it, but after reading what you wrote I felt so much relief. For better or for worse, love changes us, and makes us who we are. Thank you for showing me that it's okay to hold on to that.

Miggy said...

I really enjoyed this series. I think it was brave of you to write about the past loves. Like you, I too think of my past relationships as part of my history that make me who I am. I guess that's why I still have pictures and letters around from men other than my husband. They remind me of where I was and where I am now and how I got here.

Arika A. said...

"relationships work when we sacrifice negative beliefs about ourselves, and in that process we become the best thing that's ever happened to anyone."

So beautifully put. I truly needed this advice.
Thank you C. Jane.

Hannah Mudge said...

Thank you for articulating so well what I think more people need to talk about when it comes to writing about marriage: that they need work and that it's not all smiles and rainbows once that special day is over, but that most of the time, you can get through this.

John and Laura said...

Beautiful. I can relate to Chrstopher's experience. Like others have requested, I'd love to hear more.

marieben said...

Great writing (in this piece and the others in this series). This is the type of stuff I knew you were capable of (and what I said I wanted to see in your book, when you asked advice from your readers about what you should write). This is what makes your blog interesting: you are not presenting a picture of stereotypical mormon perfection. You are a real mensch, Courtney!

Vicky said...

I loved this series and I too would love to hear more about Chup's transition. Maybe he could write a piece about it from his perspective?

Anna Ander said...

Thank you. Thank you for the honesty. It was a privilege to read this. Thank you so much.

Mindy said...

The writer must be in it; he can't be to one side of it, ever. He has to be endangered by it. His own attitudes have to be tested in it. The best work that anybody ever writes is the work that is on the verge of embarrassing him, always.--Arthur Miller (This is why I love reading your blog!) :)

Julie said...

cjane...i loved each and every post on your relationships. so real. so honest. i try to to forget the person i was before i was married. i appreciate that you celebrate those trials/errors and make them a part of who you are today.

Kathy said...

C.Jane, I have been reading your blog for a few years now. I have come to the conclusion that you are the most narcicistic self-centered person I've ever encountered. With a husband and three beautiful babies it's time ,don't you think, to grow up.

mrs. kleiner said...

I love your blog. I don't always agree with you (as a full minded, opinionated lady that I am) ;). But I always read, and always cheer you on. I am not even sure I've ever commented. But I have loved this series, and this was a doozy. Thank you for your honesty, I have come to expect nothing less from you. But this was raw and beautiful and divinely undone.
Blessings on you and your love this year.
alecia from seattle

Chatty Natty said...

C- Your best writing is when you are real, open, honest and raw. For reasons you wrote about in your 4th love is why I felt such a real sisterhood with you during those late night bunk bed chats in St. Leo. It was so nice knowing perfection didn't necessarily lead to serving the Lord.

Brenick said...

it feels like the story is incomplete... one second you are on the verge of divorce and then the next (4 months later), you are getting sealed in the temple. how did that happen? what changed for chup? also, how did you guys meet and first fall in love?

Natasha and Jesse said...

I like all your stories, but this is my favorite one. And it's funny how the first four loves were named Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John...to protect privacy?

Wan Family said...

I agree totally that finding yourself and feeling secure with who you are makes you a much better partner in any relationship. Thanks so much for sharing the stories of how you found yourself. It is a good motivation and reminder for us all to do the same.

Bettina said...

Oh my goodness. You are such a gifted writer, thank you for sharing with us.

These stories touched my heart.

lawdy said...

I don't know how you can possibly be so honest. . .and how beautiful it ends up being. Best advice on marriage I've ever heard. You are the bomb. Thank you. Thank you.

theduchessofamboy said...

Courtney.....
You are a beautiful writer and you inspire me. I have struggled in my lifetime, but never more, or longer, than in the past 18 months. I would love to ask you questions..... could you be a mentor to me? More than you have been through your writing? I would love to correspond with you. Is there an email address I could use to send you more information about myself?

Cheryl said...

Beautiful and a real look on marriage! All of us have our struggles through the years, but we don't talk about them enough in the Mormon world so when people get married and it's not roses and romace all the time they think it must not be for them!

Restyled Home said...

Hot dammmm..that was a good read! I can't wait to read your book; I suspect you will fill in a lot of the blanks in it. As a writer (about more frivolous pursuits), your beautiful words make me want to write my own stories down somewhere for myself.
You have such a gift, you probably have no idea how much we, your readers, appreciate it.

Thanks, Courtney!

tammy said...

one of the best posts you have written. beautiful.

mandyjanedesigns said...

Love your honesty. I just started reading your stuff and I really enjoy it. The artwork on these posts is beautiful!

Hannah Ballard said...

This touched me so much. Thank you for your openness and honesty. This just reminds me of why I love who I love. Thank you thank you thank you!

Paola said...

I have so many things I would like to say to you but I don't know how to articulate them so will share these three:
1. Christopher went from not wanting kids at first to delivering his own Erin Caroline? No need on your part to explain anything. You are a genius of a writer period! I love it when is up to me as a reader to connect the dots.
2. Yesterday I was doing errands with three little ones. We were literately running from one place to the next so we could get home quickly and I could read the final chapter! I didn’t even feel this way about the Twilight series HELLO?
3.* OK now you have to picture me giving you a standing ovation for these series* BRAVO! BRAVO!

Jocelyn said...

I needed this. Thanks

Sage said...

Wow. Same might be said of you. Why don't you read someting else then.

Betsy said...

I have LOVED this series of yours. They were all beautiful. I felt like I was coming back each day to read the next chapter in a book of essays on love. Thank you!

Middle-aged Diva (Carol) said...

Courtney, I love this post. Love it.

kelly said...

just.so.lovely. why is it that we hide all of our vulnerable parts, when really they're our most beautiful?

Megan said...

i agree with everyone else, i loved this post and your honesty! and i NEEDED it especially today! my first year (and second and third) of marriage was hard. i didn't feel prepared for how hard it was and on numerous occasions i didn't think it would work. we got pregnant pretty quickly after we got married and i remember seeing the home pregnancy test show up as positive and i wanted to cry. not happy tears, but tears of anger and hurt. i felt completely stuck now in this relationship i was wanting to give up on. thankfully, we have worked a lot of things out and we are very happy but it's still a struggle most days. and now with a crazy toddler in tow it can be hard to really focus on our relationship. but i love what you said about learning to love ourselves and when we do we can be better partners for each other. i have found that to be SO true and i know when i feel better about myself the relationship goes smoother. thank you so much for being honest and showing that marriage is hard and it is work and it's not all roses right away like others make you believe. i love how open you are and i hope i can be more honest some day as well!! you are amazing!

the Webbs said...

Wow, she puts herself out there and speaks with an open honesty that I wish I were more brave to show. "Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not." Your blunt words just make me wonder why you want to sting her so.

Katherine Vargas said...

I came to realize this: we think we go from partner to partner because there will be someone "better" for us. In reality, no one is better for us, we just get better for ourselves.

And this: relationships work when we sacrifice negative beliefs about ourselves, and in that process we become the best thing that's ever happened to anyone.

And this: a successful marriage is about two people engaged and dedicated to overcoming selfishness--for the rest of their lives


amen

Allison said...

I'm going to be honest. My life is different and better now because I read this. Thank you.

Jannifer said...

Thank you so much for your 5 Loves series and thank you for being so honest. Some of your thoughts have helped me.

Dia said...

If your book is anything like this it will be so great! I never buy books but I will be buying IT! Your honesty is wonderful and it grabs me. PS I never comment on blogs like ever (hardly)

Michemily said...

I just wrote a post about relationships, too, because I read that book "Marry Him." I hope you like it as much as I liked yours.

http://michelleglauser.blogspot.com/2012/02/marry-him-ponderings.html

Esther said...

Lovely. I agree with your sentiments about being better yourself. Who knew that Chup didn't want kids?!?! He is the idealic father. What a hunk.

Em said...

Thank you so much for this.

Each installment of this Five Loves series has been so beautiful and personal and thought-provoking.

But this last one--I needed this.
Thanks again.

Laura Bullock said...

Thank you for sharing this CJane. I took a lot of comfort from this as I am divorced and now currently engaged. All your insight and honest has been an amazing balm.

Thank you,
Laura

Camille Keller said...

I'm so happy that I ran across your blog! I love your sincerity, your sense of humor, and your writing style. You are very inspiring. I have a dear little friend with four beautiful children who is struggling with her marriage right now. I am going to share your thoughts with her. Thank you. :)

Mary P said...

I've been catching up on your blog and, following link after link, came and reread some of these 5 Loves posts. This one especially resonated with me as it is my anniversary today. I've said this before but, "The very traits that attracted me to my husband are the same characteristics that drove me crazy after we were married."

And no, I would not change him, because then he wouldn't be the man I love, or the man who loves me. No one can compare for me.

I'm glad we both have our Christophers!

Sylvia said...

"Well, you can always come back home; these things happen, sweetheart."

What a wonderful dad you have.

I salute the pain and sorrow in your life; I envy the love and family in your life.

Your writing has really touched me tonight. Thank you!