And that comment killed me because I always felt so proud of my healthy heritage.
For years I've felt insecure about blogging when feeling under the weather. Isn't that funny? I have lived a life where I care so much about what people--a stranger no less--thinks about my health situation?
I am currently undertaking a very serious pledge to myself to stop caring what other people think of me, or shall I phrase it: I am working on my pride. And let me tell you something, the minute I started praying and dedicating myself to this cause, the world opened up and I've been tested and tried to pieces. For instance, this *picture floating around on the internet:
What? Haven't you seen nostrils on a nine month pregnant woman before?
Or this one, I've had to say to myself, THOSE THIGHS ARE FINE! SO WHAT YOU CANT ZIP UP YOUR BOOTS! WHO CARES! Over and over in my head:
Anyway, I have to remind myself regularly to unplug all the inputs of vanity, selfishness and egotism plugging my soul. I am working on being a good human being who cares more about compassion, charity and hope than perfection.
Which leads me to say, I am sick.
I've got that transition into fall/winter cold. You know what I am talking about don't you? Runny nose one second, stuffy the next. Heaviness in the chest area (as if I haven't felt that since I was ten), itchy eyes one second, watery the next. And a whole lot of sneezing. Which means, at this point in gestation, a whole lot of losing bladder control.
I slept 1.5 hours last night. It wasn't even tossing and turning. It was cursing and cussing.
Chup is a hero, you know. He took charge of me. He made me stay down this morning and let me sleep. I know what you are thinking, WISH I HAD THAT LUXURY. But the man has been traveling about the country doing speeches and I've been alone for the past few weeks carrying on without him with a body so completely unbend-able and a job so desperately dependent on bending over (put on little shoes, take off little shoes, put on a diaper, pick up the toys, pick up the child, put child down again...) So take back your guilt trip and don't forget your flip flops.
Is that my pride getting all hot in that last paragraph? Did I detect some defensiveness? Tsk, tsk! We've got work to do C. Jane!
I slept until ten o'clock and then I woke up with a panic. I didn't want to sleep all day! I didn't even want to be sick all day! I rolled over and opened my laptop. No, today I was going to do some good.
Today I am going to raise money for the Rooftop Concert Series, I decided. So I got to work, obnoxiously spilling out tweet after facebook status update until we started to see some movement on our Kickstarter page. My goal, I committed to reach was $1000 in pledges in one day.
By noon we were over half way there. By 4pm we were done. Goal achieved.
But I was still hot. So I upped the ante to $2,000, increased my tweeting and facebooking and by about 9:30pm we had surpassed that goal too.
I guess you should know I love you, people who donated. People who forwarded links. People who retweeted. People who were really annoyed with all my tweeting and facebooking but kept with me anyway. I can't even write this dang post because I keep going to check our Kickstarter page to see where we're at with the pledges. (We're about 45% funded! $2,270 SMOKES! IN ONE DAY!)
NOTE TO THE MASSES: if you have a highly addictive personality, don't start a Kickstarter page! You will habitually hit refresh on your page like a smoker to his pipe. (I am Mormon, did I use that analogy properly?)
Anyway, I am sick so I should probably hit the sack. Plus, I am going to be on Studio 5 tomorrow discussing what NOT to say to a woman experiencing infertility (and a little bit about what you SHOULD say). With all this going on, you're probably thinking, why aren't you hitting the sack yet C. Jane?
Oh right, but I don't care what you think of my sleeping habits.
By the way, Mindy Gledhill has agreed to help me sing all the names of donors who have given to our Kickstarter page in my vlog for Friday. If you would like us to sing your name in this VERY SPECIAL VLOG you'll need to donate before 9:00pm (mst) Thursday night. JHack will be doing some light guitar in the background and we're trying to persuade Sarah Wiley to pick up the violin she hasn't touched in twenty years. So, like I said, VERY SPECIAL VLOG.
To donate, click here.
*also it should be said, JHack's photography is always honest, which means sometimes I really have to own up to myself and my image. I am a lucky girl to have such a photographer in my life.
One dollar gets you a warm glow in your heart. $500 gets you your own private Fictionist concert. No kidding. Donate to the Rooftop Concert Series 2012!