Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday the Stinkteenth

On the couch with ABC 4 Utah talking about my sister Stephanie.

So we vlogged last night, Chup and I (wow, that sounds indecent) and as we were vlogging I made a passing joke about how Chup's the type of guy who gives into superstitions.

"Like, you're probably nervous about Friday the Thirteenth tomorrow," I accused.

"Totally," he admitted.

At midnight, when we went to post our polished vlog (truthfully: it wasn't our best) Blogger was inexplicably down and stayed down until the morning when I went to check again.

It was a sign from the Gods, I thought and decided to scrap it all together anyway.

Mid-morning I took the kids to Target to buy some reinforced BIG BOY pants, the kind a toilet training mother needs in her arsenal (and a lot of them). All went well until we got back into the car, I started to think about doing an early lunch and my gagging reflex was immediately triggered. I started heaving, which I could not control, and in an unforgiving moment I puked and lost bladder control all at once, while driving.

Who needs BIG BOY pants now?

(Please pause, ABC news is here filming while I blog. It always intimidates me when I have to pretend to blog while really blogging. I am so glad my hair looks decent and I just bought a frilly silky shirt.)

Anyway, where was I?

Puking right.

Back at home I unloaded groceries with a sleepy Ever Jane and tried again to think about eating. Meanwhile The Chief pulled a BIG BOY moment by shutting all the car doors for me. Only, he pressed the lock button before doing so, leaving my keys still attached to the ignition. Luckily the car was turned off. Unluckily we were locked out of the car for good.

Because I left my purse and other desirables in the passenger's seat, I thought it best to call Chup at work to ask where a spare set of keys could be found. Only, my phone refused my request and would not allow any kind of cellular communication--I could not text, email or call anyone anywhere. I might as well have been on a deserted island. And speaking of coconuts, I really thought I was going to go nuts.


The day unraveled from there. My afternoon babysitter showed up in tears (she was missing out on a party) and so I sent her home. The Chief refused to nap so I let him watch a bucket of tv while I cleaned up the kitchen. Ever found a tube of old toothpaste in the garbage (she's a digger) and seemed so happy, I let her have at it.

I tried to keep myself awake by drinking a large cup of ice water. When that didn't help I splashed my face with the ice water.

When Chup arrived home he informed me that we have no spare set of keys for the car. Then he took my phone and for the next, I don't know, three hours called China, India and Washington state on his phone looking for the person responsible for my phone outage. I sat in the living room thinking about not thinking about puking again and not sleeping. Then I thought about Mountain West Burrito . . .

 . . .which is what I was eating when ABC called and asked for an interview about my sister Stephanie's 20/20 episode airing tonight. When the crew showed up The Chief was completely naked, Ever had quesadilla face and I was in my pajamas.

And now I get it, Chup. I understand the weariness on a day like today. As soon we get our car unlocked I will drive down to Stan's and buy you an Oreo shake just to validate your point. How about that?

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