April!

Photo Jed Wells

Entre vous Avril!

Just as spring was going about sprunging this weekend--the shaky daffodils rising like toddlers beginning to walk and forsythia bushes blooming without reservation--an unrelenting snowstorm moved in overnight. In an absolute ambush, spring was squashed by the after-taste of winter. But this is April at its best, surprising, striking and totally unstable.

It's cliche I know, but I can't stop the saying to myself the old adage, April showers bring May flowers. It seems to be a theme in my life right now, the enduring of what must happen today for the beautiful surprise of tomorrow. (And I use the word enduring because I like it, not because it sometimes means torturous circumstances.)

Oh the May flowers of our lives! They are so worth it.

And so while it storms I've decided to use this time to unplug.

A couple of years ago I had a vision of me walking around my neighborhood completely wrapped up and tangled in all sorts of wires that were connected into my consciousness. I was plugged into all sorts of ideas, opinions and beliefs that weren't connected to myself, they were connected to other people, institutions and cultural mores. I could hardly move on my own. I shuffled at best.

I realized this vision was trying to tell me that I was in a mental bondage. I had so many unoriginal, untrue, unhelpful ideas from haphazard sources I couldn't progress. I had also willingly plugged myself into other's dramas, their anger and their choices I couldn't distinguish them from my own. Not only could I not move, I couldn't hear truth.

So I started to unplug. I ripped those wires out of me one by one with the power of determination and desperation. Some plugs were unkind things people had said about me, some were opinions that were antiquated, some were just feelings planted in hopelessness. Each unplugging left me a little bit more mobile, until finally I could move freely.

I went about on my own and it felt incredible. I realized though I wasn't plugged into anything, I could feel revelation and direction. It came from inside of me. It was God speaking truth to my spirit.

Every once in awhile that vision comes back to me and I say to myself, "Start unplugging." And though it feels so good, to sit and mentally take the challenge of letting all those wires go, it amazes me how quickly I find myself wrapped up in those long, black cords again. Sometimes before thoughts actually connect, I have to warn myself, "Don't let that one plug in."

So April, snow, shower, wind all you want. I'll be home spring cleaning the many layers of consciousness, cleansing out the grime of my mind, preparing myself for May. Flowers and freedom.

And the best news of my entire week! J. Kirk Richards has finished his beautiful Mother and Child project. Now it's our turn to decide which card should go to print for Mother's Day cards--50% of the proceeds will go towards Camp Kesem--a camp for children whose parents have/had cancer. (I can't even write about this whole project without goosebumps on my fingers and up my arms.)
Will you do something for me?
Will you go to Kirk's blog and look at all the paintings?
And vote?
And get goosebumps of your own?

Personally, I love #5, #9 and #13. But #8 is my favorite of all because it's going in my nursery.
Sweet is the work. Goosebumps. Lumpy throat...

Ok, enough talking. With all my heart, I invite you to go here.