Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Dual Citizenship

Photo Jed Wells (in our guest bedroom).

The plan was to be a Stay At Home Mom. Being the homebody that I am, I took a lot of comfort in the stay at home part of that job description. But I've noticed an alarming pattern in my life, anytime I make "a plan" fate brazenly decides against it. I mean, it's either fate or the possibility that I even rebel against my own decisions.

For the most part I am at home, but frequently I attend business meetings, idea meetings, community service meetings and fund-raising meetings which incidentally are all meetings where I make a huge fool of myself. I trained for SAHM not Business Talk 101.

For instance I said "penis" in a fund-raising meeting I had yesterday. As soon as it fled my mouth I tried to recapture it, but you don't just pretend you didn't say that word (of all words). I should be fired by now. Somebody fire me.

And I am always late to these meetings, mainly because my children are smart about me leaving. Yesterday as I was showering (and for the first time this winter: shaving my legs) Ever skillfully crept into the bathroom, tore open the shower curtain and, with her best pirate impression yelled "Ahhhhhrrrrrrrr!" It scared me like a college prank. I jumped three feet in the air and landed on the slippery tub.

Out of the shower and back on dry ground, I decided to speed up the drying of my hair with a blow dryer. My children had never seen one before (in my training of SAHM I skipped the course called, "How to Still Look Lovely Doing the Dirtiest Job in the World") so as I commenced blowing my hair my two children went crazy. The Chief continued to unplug it, "I want that gun!'" and Ever wrapped her body around my leg in an attempt to crawl up and examine the fascinating mechanical contraption in my hands.

You should have seen my hair when it was all over.

By the time I arrived at my second meeting yesterday my entire mane looked so puffy and rat's nest-y that I pulled back what I could into a ponytail:

I carried on like I was bringing back something the 1700's forgot to pass on.

When all of the meetings were over yesterday, the house looked like it had been dumped upside down and rolled around like dice to a giant. Stuff everywhere. Food, clothes and toys littered the floors and dirty dishes barricaded the kitchen sink. And so I took off my boots, put on my apron and got back to work.

Later when I was putting The Chief to bed I cuddled up next to him and told him I loved him. "Wuve you, Mom" he whispered back to me. Moments later he was softly snoring, and I wasn't far behind.

This lifestyle is busy and sometimes entirely taxing, but I know it's the life Heavenly Father wants for me. Once you turn your will over to Him there is no difference between God and fate.