Top O' the morning to you. Except you Austraila. Ha! The joke that never gets old.
So, I was pleased that my last DIY (the creche) was a huge hit (even in New Zealand!) and, get this, award winning too (although some people a little less talented than I got a bit stuck around step 3). But enough about bragging and on to the trimming. Of the tree. Not your armpit hair. (Chup will not think that was funny.)
As it turns out I've got a couple kids. One likes the smell of his own curiosity. The other has an overwhelming sense to stand on her teeny feet and grab stuff. This all amounts to nothing. No, that's not what I meant to say. I meant to say, this all amounts to a No Ornament Christmas Tree.
Here is how I did it:
Step One: Get a tree.
Step Two: Put lights on the tree. This is absolutely the worst part of Christmas. Putting lights on a poky tannenbaum . I went all manipulative this year and produced fake tears so as to guilt my husband into doing it. (Chup will not think that was funny.)
Step Three: Go to your local party store and buy a bunch of tissue fans. (Darlybird has them super cheap and lot's o' colors here). Or you can make your own. But that's a bit complicated (I mean, not for me). Like I always say, why labor when you can buy!
Step Four: Put them on the tree. Now, here's the deal. Because those tissue fans are so big, you don't need a lot of them to cover the radius of your holiday timber. So, you can put them up high out of the reach of those Christmas pets of yours and still look like you've done some mighty decorating. In addition, if one of those pets goes rogue and attacks a tissue ball, you are only out a couple bucks (and you can actually just take that out of their college fund). Also, I put a few red balls here and there just to sprinkle the tree with a little tradition.
Step Five: Gloat.
So there she is. Good luck. As always call me if you get stuck anywhere in the process. Joking again! If you call me I will think you are weird (and less talented than I).
Cue: Chup shaking his head at me.
This is not a joke. Nancy Hanson just emailed me saying she wants to go all Oprah and have THREE winners instead of one. You get a cd! You get a cd! You get a cd! Check it out:
If you think you're too late to try and win a little breakfast at Communal you couldn't be more wrong.
I am C. Jane Kendrick and I have DIY-ed and gone to heaven.
contact me: cjanemail(AT)gmail.com
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