Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Warm hands, cold feet
The morning that cjane and I were supposed to have our engagements taken, I called her to say I couldn't do it.
The engagements I could do. I was talking about getting married. I was completely anxious out of my mind and panicking.
She was remarkably calm. She said: "I'm going to get ready. I want you to get ready, and then come over and we'll talk about it."
I got dressed and went over. And as I walked up the stairs I saw her and was struck.
"You are beautiful." "Perfectly beautiful." and for that moment I was fine and calm and assured.
And the next moment everything thundered back down around me.
"I don't want to ruin this or how you're feeling." "You are everything I've ever wanted in my bride-to-be...but I don't think I can do it."
Again, so calm.
"Come downstairs. I think we should say a prayer."
We went downstairs to the dining room table. She was a vision, placid in her simple white dress, I in my wrinkled suit, wracked, trembling.
She asked if I'd pray, which I did. Reasoning, pleading, begging for comfort or escape or answer. To no end. I felt as miserably conflicted -if not more- after the prayer than before.
And then she said:
"I think we should drive to Vegas and get married. Today."
Stunning. And simple and exactly perfect.
And I said with no hesitation: "That feels right."
Previously, cjane's father, our ecclesiastical as well as filial counselor had expressed concern over lengthy engagements.
She had been married in an LDS Temple. If you don't know, we Mormons take Temple Marriage very seriously.
To oversimplify: Civil Marriage is generally temporary. Most ceremonies contain language along the lines of "'til death do us part." We believe that Temple Marriages, or "Sealings" are for a little longer than that. Time and eternity. This is one of the most basic doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and a big part of what happens in Temples.
Families are forever.
It stands then that Temple divorce is taken equally seriously. Canceling the commitments that take place in a Temple ceremony are not taken lightly and can take up to a year.
Which is why cjane's father mentioned having a Civil ceremony now, and a Temple Ceremony as soon as the cancellation finalized.
So with elopement on our minds, we went to get our engagements taken. Hailey, the photographer is one of cjane's good High School friends.
She said: "You two look so cute, I bet you go get married today."
Which is when we confessed, "We're thinking about it."
Stay tuned for part two--wherein Chup has a panic attack on the way to Vegas.