Monday, June 28, 2010

This Post Just Gets Better and Better



Writing for me is my exercise.
I used to be an avid walker-- deep breath--but when I walk I have to swing my arms in embarrassing ways that don't lend itself well to stroller pushing. And when the babies go to sleep at night I am usually too tired to go out walking plus it's dark and creepy. So in conclusion Seymour, I choose writing over walking. But that is just the phase I am in. Deep breath.

I told myself yesterday that if I was a very, very good girl and wrote (exercised) at least five times this week on my blog I could have a reward! I was really excited about this reward. Like butterflies in the stomach, rattling around in my throat, and out of my mouth with a shriek sort of reward.

And now I can't remember what that reward was.

When I gave birth two months ago I also signed away the rights to my short term memory. And I wish I could remember that I need to WRITE THESE THINGS DOWN so I don't forget to not forget.

But I am still determined to blog five times this week just in case I remember on Saturday night and I get what I promised myself originally.

I am sure it was something terrific.


Tonight we went swimming at my neighbor Logan's house. Well, he lives up the street and a few blocks over but whatever. I wore a new swimming suit that Cardigan Empire inspired me to buy. Only it doesn't have straps. It's a strapless swimming suit. I don't know if Mormon's can wear strapless swimming suits and consider themselves modest, but there I was. The only other people in the pool beside us were Ric and Lucy and their daughter Betsy. And believe me, all three of them are used to seeing my flotation devises. If you will.

And then.

As we drove home from the swimming pool we passed a whole street full of my neighbors milling about socializing before the end of the day. We drove slowly and waved generously. Then I went into shock because from their angle, no doubt, Chup and I probably looked completely naked. Me in my strapless, Chup without a shirt.

Scandalous?

Well it was. I mean, for my neighborhood. What did they all say as our taillights winked on down the road?

I am not going to think about it.

I'm not.

Instead, I want to tell you something. In the paragraph above I mentioned Logan, Cardigan Empire and Ric and I just realized this: Logan' sister Wendy, Cardigan Empire's creator Reachel and Ric all have the same birthday.

And it is tomorrow.

So happy birthday to all three! My gift to them is the mental picture they will get when they think of me and Chup looking naked driving down the street in our family car.

I am so generous.



Sometimes when I blog late at night I feel sorta loopy and in the morning I have a blogging hang over and I think, Oh dear did I really write that?

Like, flotation devices?


I just fell asleep for fifteen minutes while writing this. When I woke up I read the last line I wrote:

Like, flotation devices?

And I couldn't remember what that meant.

I should start walking again.








my sister in law lisa kicks off sister in law week:


I am only going to remind you once more:



I am c jane if I remember correctly .

contact me:
cjanemail@gmail.com

75 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I do the EXACT same thing when I blog late at night. I usually end up deleting those posts.

The Boob Nazi said...

That also goes for blog comments, but I think I'm safe for these.

Gina said...

I have to tie my hands behind my back to stop myself from re-writing and tweaking what I wrote a couple of hours earlier. I just try to arm myself with the knowledge that if I edit posts after a few people have read them then the world may learn about my OCD tendencies. That usually stops me. But as for comments. When they're written they're written. No editing or changing. Now THAT'S scary! I'm off to straighten my tea towels...

Sammi said...

You make me smile!

I also fall asleep if I write blogs late, and my memory is horrendous right now... to the point I have to click "Show Original Post" to remember what I was trying to comment on, eurgh.

This Girl loves to Talk said...

the walking thing: i've found I have pushed a stroller for so long, when I am without it, I almost dont know how to walk properly anymore! lol..

Dont sleep deprived blog... its dangerous!

Melissa E Photography said...

YAY! Loopy cjane is my favorite! :)

Beth said...

Blog all you want late at night, you made me laugh out loud, what a great way to start my day!!!

Cape Cod Rambling Rose said...

My morning chuckle... thanks to CJane. You're the best! ;) Now I'll have a smile on my face to start the day.

appledapple said...

Some days I feel like Dory from Finding Nemo, my short term memory loss is here to stay...but, it is amazing how memory can sharpen itself in the presence of teens...thank you God for that!
~
I got quite the giggle thinking of you and Chup whisking down the road in the family car looking bare...Mormon or not, I would be feeling a little exposed in my own neighborhood and then I know my husband and I would find the humor and laugh about it for years (I hope you do too)

Sarah said...

thanks for the laugh this morning. mental pictures of you and chup nakedly waving to the neighbors :D

J said...

Great post, CJane, it made me laugh out loud. I hope you get your memory back soon, but that your curves last a bit longer because you're quite cute in them!

amyrose said...

ah, too funny.

I hope you can remember the terrific gift you had promised yourself!

Michele said...

loving the naked car hiya neighbours story - would have loved to have heard what they said/thought as you drove past "nicky noo nar"

Too funny

Cassandra said...

Oh goodness. This was a great way to start my day...not with the image of your flotation devices, that is...but the one of what your neighbors thought as you cruised through their social gathering naked in your car. Awesome. You are too funny, woman.

freckleonthenose said...

I could not follow this entry. But that doesn't mean I didn't like it a lot. :)

Siobhan said...

Thanks for the laugh!! I can only imagine your neighbors' reactions as you smiled and waved, clad in swim suits, as they thought you were nekkid. Too funny!

Wendy said...

Thank you for sharing about you in the car looking naked. I have been giggling ever since.
I need to giggle!

elka said...

flotation devices? LOVE it!!!

Lauren said...

I love that visual. Not that I am visualizing but well I am visualizing the neighbors looks on their faces as you passed by looking naked. That will make me chuckle all day.

Doty Family said...

Ha, ha,ha! What a picture! I can just picture the neighbors faces!! What a way to start the morning!

Andrea in Taiwan said...

The term "Flotation Devices" made me laugh at my desk at work because that is the PERFECT description for post baby boobages.

aLi said...

ha!!! I loved it all!!! I relate.

Teachinfourth said...

That's exactly why I sometimes won't run posts right after I write them. Often I need to go back to make sure that they really say what I meant them to.

Thanks for the mental picture for all of us. It feels like Christmas...

grbev said...

Too funny! However, short term memory loss can be caused from not drinking enough water, especially while nursing.

amanda abby said...

This is the most hilarious post you've ever written!

Llewyth said...

Haha! You just have 2 little ones, This is normal. You'll get your memory back and kooky sanity. I promise.

ashli said...

this is why i keep coming to check cjane. you make me laugh...you visuals are the best!

kam said...

That is a very entertaining story and I am so glad that THIS very morning I read that- I sure needed something to put a smile on my face and the thought of you guys happily waving to your neighbors wilst giving the appearance of driving nude in your family vehicle on a MONDAY night makes me giggle. "Man, the Kendricks sure have some strange FHE's........"

springrose said...

Can I just say, I love you Courtney!!! Flotation devices and all. It is good to know that I am not the only one that gets ginormous "flotation devices" when I breast feed! I call mine torpedos. Because no matter what type of nursing bra I buy they still look like they are in the shape of a torpedo!

queen bee tracy said...

Oh my, my. Such a funny post. I can always count on your musings to make me laugh, think, cry or any combination of the three. Also, because I think in pictures, the mental image of the good Mormon family driving nekkid through the 'burbs is tear inducing. Thanks, as always, for your words. And even though you may not remember your gift, I selfishly hope you blog five days as that is your gift TO us.

Callister said...

Laughing out loud at the mental picture I have of you and Chup waving and seeming to be naked. Hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh to start my day. <3

merideth said...

that was so funny to read. i am still laughing right now and i am sure will be laughing throughout the day as i think of this post.

ah too funny!!

Tana said...

Those blessed with ample nursing equipment can look much more modest in a strapless bathing suit with a straight neckline than a strapped, more plunging one. Just saying . . .

And I can't help but go back and "prune" my blog posts later. Sometimes I just go, "who wrote that?" and HAVE to change it. And yet, the writing is STILL crap! :)

jennym said...

Oh man, that is good stuff.

I am LOVING your post-baby entries...all of them. Something just wakes up inside when that emotional free-fall is unleashed and it is coming out of you in beautifully rich, textured writing. We could call these chapters "The many moods of Courtney,"- sassy, sentimental, silly, soulful...and I am thoroughly enjoying each one. :-)

pollydove said...

Ha ha ha! I love it!

MonsterBug Blankets said...

this was TRULY HILARIOUS! thanks for the laugh--even though I had to quietly snort through my nose to keep from waking my peacefully sleeping hubby! hahaha!

Sidney said...

loved your picture on facebook.....and i love it on here. :) now i want to see your swimming suit!! as a mormon girl also....i just bought a strapless one....didn't end up loving it and took it back....but i'd love to check out yours.

Briana said...

hahaha! i definitely laughed out loud - thanks for the funny!

Amy said...

Oh I love it! Your writing makes me happy. Between you Steph you always keep me entertained know I'm NOt the only one.

Tracy said...

You make me laugh. Thank you. I need more laughter because my baby is cranky. Cranky is NOT funny.
xo

Sarah Jane said...

Too funny. Good luck fitting the walking in. My exercising is about the last thing to come back post-babe.

YouHaveHowMany? said...

Okay, I usually don't laugh outloud when I read blogs, but you had me going! I could totally envision what that must have looked like in a mormon neighborhood... As for the memory loss, my husband has gotten in the habit of whistling "If I only had a brain" when there is something I should have remembered! There is a reason why I introduce myself as "Dory." I have had 7 sweet babies and each have taken a nice large portion of my brain cells. I don't mind. (pardon the pun ;) )

Elizabeth said...

I think this was one of my favorite posts! Loved it!

Becca's Dirt said...

Well I have the image in my head and can't get the rest of my work done. Darn. You are a funny girl. Great post. The pool sounds like loads of fun since we are so hot here on the gulf coast.

Durham said...

This post really made me laugh. Thanks!

Mary said...

Whenever I blog when I'm hyper (hyperness comes to me when I'm reallllllly tired), I always humiliate myself in some way. Usually oversharing. At the time, it seems hilarious and then the next day, I groan.

And I don't even have a popular blog. So, anyway... I sorta feel you. Except for that nobody reads my blog.

Wendi said...

Okay, I guess I'm loopy too. Because I thought that was one of your funniest posts ever! I laughed out loud several times. And then I made my fourteen year old daughter laugh because I was laughing like such a crazy person. And now SHE has the giggles. All because of you and your funny post. Oh, and that picture is AWESOME! :D

Mistie said...

I SO hope you win funniest blog, I am voting every day!!

Rachel said...

That made me giggle because I only WISH I had floaties. Instead I have...welll....I've got nothin!
Mrs. Arndt

Bonnie said...

I'm going to be laughing all day over your "naked family in the car"! And your writing is always so awesome. Late at night, or not.

SewSara said...

hee hee! that's so hilarious ... i bet you DID look nakey! thanks for the laugh.

tharker said...

I for one, ADORE your late night loopy posts. They are by far some of my favorite!

The image of your neighbors wondering, wondering, wondering...is so stinking funny!

I bought a new suit from Lime Ricki last month. It's a halter top, with two small straps that tie around my neck. At first, my husband wondered why I had bought a halter top, but here's the deal. I'm a nursing mama, and these...ahem, devices...are a little large...and in charge, frankly. And trying to smoosh them into a V-neck suit was not, I repeat NOT pretty.

The halter style not only covers me completely {which makes this girl feel so much more comfortable} but I also think it makes me look not so...bazooooonga-ish. And that is always a plus.

And that's all I have to say about that.

ForeverRhonda said...

I'm sure your neighbors only said positively delightful things such as "I'm sure Courtney and Chup have a very good reason for driving around the neighborhood naked!!!"

Becky said...

You are hilarious! I think every mama can relate to pregnancy/newborn brain. I finally bought a notebook just for writing all the stupid things I know I will forget about five minutes from now.

Love reading your blog.

Becky (from California)

Main Street said...

Haha, I loved that post c jane, it was particularly witty, you shouldn't have questioned it. I lol'ed a lot.

Melissa said...

reading that post made my day!!! How funny!!!

Patti said...

This comment from Teachinfourth made me laugh out loud:

Thanks for the mental picture for all of us. It feels like Christmas...

Leslie said...

Oh my gosh, you crack me up!!! I can just see it. Thanks for giving me a great mental picture and a good laugh.

I call mine floatation devices too. Tho, they are the only things that float...the rest of me sinks.

Kira =] said...

that short term memory loss has a name in our family - Alzmomers (all moms get it) =]

That's our excuse and we're sticking with it!

Lindsay & Josh said...

I have two children almost the same age as yours, and I too no longer have a memory. Thanks for the good laugh, the whole second half made me laugh....even out loud!

Lara said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with no short term...what was I going to say?

Just love your writing Cjane! You always make my morning! Thanks!

Diane said...

The term "flotation devices" had me smiling as I have just reached 7 1/2 months pregnant and my own chances of drowning diminish each day as these babies grow. Then I got to the image of you and Chup cheerfully driving through the neighborhood looking unclothed, and laughed out loud. Funniest post I have read in a while, on any blog.

Lucky ♥ Holly said...

Why can't I be more like the Kendricks? Confident enough to drive around nude, I mean.

Molly said...

I actually LOL'd at "floation devices." It's amazing what motherhood does to us when we're already endowed. Who DOESN'T love having the ladies at Motherhood tell you they don't carry that size?

Notes from Holly St. said...

I love the idea of your neighbors thinking you and Chup were driving down the street naked in your family car...hilarious!! LOL

Paige said...

Thanks for the laugh. : )

Angie said...

This post made me laugh first thing this morning when I read it..it made me laugh throughout the day, and I came back tonight so I could laugh again! I just have this mental picture of you and Chup, driving slowly, waving hugely...and everyone just staring as the naked mormons drive by. :) :) :) you made my day!! Thank you!

thorney said...

I love that called "the girls" "flotation devices". Yoo cute and oh so perfect. Unfortunatley my former floation devices are now raisins.

--Mari

emmaproctor said...

i am so excited for a week full of writing!

Sarah said...

Courtney....You make me laugh!
God Bless You and your sense of humor!

Lisa said...

ha! This post cracked me up. Clever, clever.

Motherboard said...

I fall asleep blogging all the time when I use the laptop in bed. Then my husband mocks me.

I feel your pain; however, referring to the girls as flotation devices? Priceless!

(LOVE that photo of you and my future son-in-law. Are you ready to sign that arranged marriage agreement yet?)

(kidding)

(not really)

(only sort of)

Joanie said...

THANK YOU so much for the lovely chuckle!!!! Great post!!!! LOL

Our Life With Two Boys said...

where for you get said bathing suit? the masses be curious...

stephanie said...

i just discovered your blog and although this is only the second post of yours i have read, I think we may be kindred spirits! love the descriptions! can't wait to read more!!