Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Show Off



Chup and I have
decided to spring clean our finances. For instance, how do we feel about our hefty T-Mobile bill when in reality I don't use my phone for actual calls? Some texting, some checking email notifications but besides Time and Temp--an app on my phone now--I don't do much actual dialing.

Another bill we were thinking about cutting is our fancy 2,000 (rough estimate) channel tv package. We only really watch a couple channels, rarely use the DVR or On Demand. No doubt it has served us well during these dry, cold months but with this new warming trend I don't suppose we'll be watching as much.

Not so much to warrant a thick montly bill, anyway.

Still, The Chief likes his morning show, sippy tucked in tight to his chest, eyes taking in all the goodness of his favorite hostess, Kelly. Kelly is perky as a peony with her two pigtails and a voice tinted with flirt. Even Chup himself has developed a crush on Kelly and I can't be jealous because I see where he's coming from. Kelly wishes children a Happy Birthday, sings, dances and charms the heck out of the toddler set.

Kelly was especially cute this morning, I noted as I contemplated losing this channel to our monthly cut backs. She was talking to a dinosaur sock puppet on her hand. Even the puppet was dreamily staring at Kelly with his glued button eyes. But just as she went to wish a couple petite Pisces some birthday joy she inexplicably started to choke.

Her face went red.
Her eyes started watering.
And her flirty voice was nothing but gusts of desperate air.

I swear I almost lost it.
I texted Chup, "Kelly is choking on live tv!"

Some quick-thinking producer switched the shot to a still photo of a birthday boy, but we could still hear the audio of Kelly choking in the background. And then it went silent.

Silent.

I held a sympathetic breath.

A few seconds later, Kelly appeared back on the screen carrying on as if nothing had happened--with the dinosaur still on her hand. But quite red-faced, with wet eyes, and a rasp in her normal buttery voice. She continued to converse as if choking while talking to a hand puppet was PERFECTLY NORMAL. Certainly nothing to request a commercial break for--much less a need to TAKE OFF THE DINOSAUR HAND PUPPET (which is really the part I can't believe, even though I saw it with my own (not button) eyes.)

Smiling, red face, wet eyes, dinosaur hand puppet, even a dead-center camera wink.

The whole thing was so disturbing to me--how emotionally attached I had become to The Chief's morning show--I decided right then and there, tv package had to go.



Today from Dearest c jane:
A classic I can't get enough of.