Friday, April 24, 2009

I Am Too Sick To Come Up With A Title



Well.

I was going to post today but now I am too sick. Too sick with a cold/allergies. How am I supposed to know if it is a cold or allergies? I mean, I know I can Google this stuff, but I am too sick to Google. All I know is that I've got itchy eyes and a burning nose from blowing. Chup says my nose gets burny because I don't wipe my nose properly. He says I need to narrow down the wipe area to just the nostrils and that piece of flesh in between. What is that piece of flesh in between the two nostrils called anyway? I'd Google that too, but maybe you've heard, I am too sick. Sick with allergies/cold.

Ouch. It really hurts my sore fingers to type (which is why I can't post today). Does anyone give finger massages out there? My thumbs and pinkies are especially smarting (whichiswhyIshouldstopusingthespacebar). Now my clavicle is twitching. This is not a good sign. I better not post today. Just to be safe.

Uh-oh. There goes my voice. One of the most important tools a blogger has is her voice. Now it is gone, maybe Tuesday will bring it back.

I just swallowed and my throat got mad at me. Every time I swallow my tonsils scream "Don't do that! Every single time you do that things get worse!" Know what? My tonsils are right. Along with NOT blogging today, I am also not going to swallow. This is just part of having a cold/allergies.

What?

Oh, I am sorry for the impairment of my ears. All auditory now sounds like we live in a world of water. Noises are like bubbles in my eardrum. What was that?

I hope you will forgive me. One time I was too busy to post and I think 75% of the people forgave me. The other 25%? Who needs them?

But today I am not too busy to post, just too sick. With a cold/allergies.

Is there something you can do for me?

I am so glad you asked.

Do you have the number for the human resources that I am supposed to call to report that I am having a sick day? It didn't come with all of information they gave me when we left the hospital with our newborn baby, The Chief. No, no. I've looked. I've spent almost a year looking. Yes, yes. I am quite sure there was no number.

No?

Well then, I am not posting for sure today. I've really got to save my energy.

By the way, which is more closest to death, a cold or allergies?

Really?

Now I know what I've got.

See you Monday.

(If you're lucky.)