Behold! I give you the Overpaid Banner Designer Jed
Every six months or so I like to wipe my blog slate clean and do something different. I've been through almost all of Blogger templates and I know my html as well as I know the ingredients in my toothpaste. Only, every time I do a sweeping change it takes me seventy hours of completely ignoring every human, need and responsibility in my life. However, I usually lose weight from the stress so it's worth it. It's the only time stress induces weight loss and not the gain. Pfffffff.
Sorta like a blogger's cleanse.
Anyway, a couple years back I started doing my own banners. My first one was a masterpiece:
(Go ahead, I dare you to click to enlarge.)
Chup said he was going to boycott my blog it was so bad.
But I kept it up for awhile just because it reminded me of the time I lost seven pounds in three days. It was a "banner" experience. Oh boy.
At that point my cousin's husband Jed offered to step up and design banners for me. I think he felt sorry. Some say he has "talent" and others say he is "brilliant" and I thought he was "okay" so I hired him. When I say "hired" I mean, I told him that I wasn't going to pay him, after all I practically raised his wife. Thus, Jed became my Overpaid Blog Designer.
He did good work. Turned out.
At the end of this year I decided it was time to change things again. I knew that the possibility of hiding out in the basement with a crust of bread for three days had no chance. I asked Jed for a new banner, one that would remind me of my first attempt at banners. Except instead of Marie Antoinette I asked to be an angel. I mean, why not? After all, I am no more Marie Antoinette than I am a halo-ed human.
You like it, but you don't know why.
Or, you don't like it, but you can't stop looking at it.
You look at it and suddenly you feel transcendent.
Am I right?
As for the layout, Lucy tipped me off to Megan of Knuckleheaders. I had been a fan of Megan's blog for sometime, but was unaware that she had started her own blog design business. We started working on some ideas, and we're still working on some more, but I stand as a witness that she is incredible. Can make dreams come true with no paperwork. Easy to work with and one of the most adept people I have ever e-mailed back and forth. And that isn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings.
I know that not everyone is pleased with my choices, but I can't worry about that. I mean, I come to my blog more than anyone else right? It has to make my day. Besides, Christian's good father told me that my new look was "vintage c jane" and my own mother told me to not "lose the wings on your blog" and I always listen to my elders. And that was definitely not supposed to hurt anyone's feelings.
Besides, wouldn't you miss the wings?
Don't answer that.
Jed only takes on clients who can pay his mortgage and send his children to boarding school in Europe. ***UPDATE*** Jed is now taking clients! See here!
Megan takes on clients who are willing to have custom-made blogs.
You can contact her here.
Jed, Megan, I give you sabbatical for the next six months.
Consider it my thank you.
P.S. Want my button?