Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Who Am I Kidding?

The last time I visited Stephanie we talked about my grossly underestimated offering to do all the Christmas shopping for the kids. If a bell rings you'd better bet that it is me getting my wings. But, ain't it a wonderful life?

The conversation went sorta like this:

"Don't buy anything plastic."

"Um. Didn't God create plastic for Christmas toys?"

"No, he invented wood for Christmas toys."

"I found a cute kitchen set for Jane."

"Is it plastic?"

"Um, no. Metal. I think."

"Metal?"

"I think."

(It's totally plastic.)

I was also asked to steer clear of any items containing teenage pop singers or exploited super heros. I thought that was easy enough until I actually went shopping and became aware that EVERYTHING has Hannah Montana on it, or Smiley Cyrus (something like that) or Spidey. In fact, Hannah Montana should marry Spidey and rule the fraggin' world. Hannah Montana on my deodorant! Who comes up with this stuff?

Tonight I reached for some last minute (last minute?) candy canes. These looked like designer canes, all polka-dotted and stripey. (Candy, not plastic candy!) But then, wait. Are those polka dots . . . or . . . are those little Dora heads? And the fraggin' monkey too. I don't want Dora candy canes, or Montana candy canes or even Micheal Caines. I just want candy canes.

Anyway, a while back I said that I was going to Target to do all my shopping in one afternoon. What a pipe dream (what is a pipe dream?) Target did nothing for my Christmas mojo. So instead I am giving everyone on my list my book, entitled Enjoy It. And if they don't like it, I will be forced to assume that it is simply because they are jealous.

I will even go the extra mile and SIGN the book myself.

And that should make Stephanie happy see, because my book is made from trees.

(And happy memories.)

But definitely NOT plastic.




P.S. Next year I am buying exclusively through etsy shops and other crafters (unless it is electronics, I am in no need for a gaming console made out of felt). I now have a testimony of Steph's romantic Handmade Christmas from last year.

But yikes! Have you heard about this? Let's answer the call!