Tonight I let Ollie sleep with his sisters. Claire insisted because he had been following her around for fifteen minutes as her originally-named dog "Rover." He was seen lapping up dog biscuits (cracked animal crackers) off the floor, and for that brave show of "getting into character" I allowed it. Plus, I am a push, over (and over).
I half expected to spend the next two hours breaking-up who-gets-to-sleep-in-the-middle fights, or refilling bedside water glasses, but I returned some time later to see them wrapped around eachother like the character's in Klimt's The Maiden. When I removed the covers to retract i-pods from their little ears they squirmed like pups under their warm mama. I think I'd be inhumane to not think of their mother and father at that moment. What they are is missing, their gorgeous little people. It's a bag full of bittersweet.
After tucking back in the delights of my sleeping babies, I called Chup. He's in the Big Apple doing some work. When I first heard his voice on the phone he sounded tired.
"I miss you." He sighed.
"Yes, but are you going to go see some sights tomorrow?" I offered, trying to hold up my end of the energy equation.
"I don't know." He sighed again.
"You could go to visit some good stuff." Stuff, as in the lights of Times Square?
"All the world's good stuff is at home. You, our family . . ."
And after I we hung up--resolved to remember that we are padded with compassion--I set off to do the dishes, a task no one has allowed me to do in some time. I thought about what Chup said. I thought about my sister's blog (oh how I miss it's delightful updates!) which testified to his sentiments. Home is where it is at. Family is what it is all about. Prone to selfish dreaming, I need that constant reminder . . . and she was reminding me all along.
It didn't surprise us to learn that Steph's last wish--before entering that long nap of sedation--was to be able to go home and make dinner for her family. That is all she wanted to do. And she will, but not before she get some new skin and heals her willing body.
But in time, those little pups will have their (real) warm mama again. I know it.
C&S Update: Steph is having more skin graphing surgery tomorrow. Christian is taking time getting used to this new world which is now his. We wish him bravery. For the time being, he continues to feel our prayers.
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