Monday, September 24, 2007

My Perfect Day: You Should Read About It

Want to hear about my version of the perfect day?

Well, first it was Saturday. Chup woke up early and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with him around the neighborhood with Ralph. I was so shocked that I almost puked. But don't let that upset you, because I almost puke every twenty-five minutes or so for the first seven hours of any given day. See, Chup is of the opinion that real men don't walk for exercise, they bike seventy-two miles or climb fierce mountains, swim the Amazon or NOTHING AT ALL. It has to be dangerous before it can be called exercise. Don't even bother him with a walk.

Soon I realized that the purpose of the walk was to put "Friends of Scouting" fliers on all the doorsteps on our street, a task Chup signed up for a couple weeks prior. I will tell you what, I have no idea what the whole scouting business is all about, but from the looks of things, it seems intensely nerdy. Never-the-less, I married an Eagle Scout, who can tie a monkey knot for which I am eternally (I really mean that word) grateful, and that makes me a "Friend of Scouting," I suppose. So here it was, not even eight-thirty am and I had already defined a new friend in my life: Scouting.

Dear Cousin Jayne, I know you only have five minutes to read blogs everyday. This post is going to be a long one, you might want to just take my word that it was my Perfect Day. Also/and bring Hazel over again because the she forgot to weed the entire fern bed. Don't forget: we support child labor!

At nine o'clock the World's Greatest Parade and Provo's Best Kept Secret, the BYU Homecoming parade began. Chup and I brought our plastic chairs and lined them up alongside the rest of my cheering family on Ninth East.

Here is why the parade is so great and why you wished you were there: the parade people throw gallons of candy, bouncy balls, coupons and frisbees at you just for watching. My nieces and nephews fill up pillow cases of tossed prizes! And I am not kidding!

Another good reason for coming: all the BYU clubs represent. A new one every year! This year it was the Africa Club.

Another reason: it is short, and there are only thirty-five people in the crowd, (including my family.)
And: a very, shall I say, Come As You Are attitude.

But best of all was having the Bentons of Draper join our family for the parade!

The Bentons are the best. After meeting them, my mother The Councilwoman, asked if we could adopt them, to which I replied "I wish! I wish! I wish!" then I clapped my hands and closed my eyes and made a special request from my heart. But it probably won't come true. Damn The Secret for starters. But back to the Bentons, there is a really heroic story about a flying frisbee and a head rubbing that I promised Bobby I wouldn't tell, but now I wish I had never promised, and so anyway. . .

Post-parade, my Dad had a roast in the oven waiting to be shredded for the tailgate party. I had a large slice of pumpkin pie with my sister-in-law Lindsay. I am like Lindsay when she says "I don't really like food, but I like treats."

I walked over to the game with Suze, Emily, and The Councilwoman. We walk at a slower pace than that of the male Cougar fans in our family. They are too anxious to see how Max Hall is throwing during pre-game practice. I just want a churro.

In the fourth quarter it rained on us. Chup had equipped me with two large garbage sacks in case of inclement weather. Had I been a Scout, I would've fashioned myself a make-shift poncho I guess. Instead I just poked a hole in the top and wore it like a brown Popsicle costume. I offered my other sack to my wet neighbors who curiously never said "thank you," but on my Perfect Day I decided that I didn't care! Beside I don't think they were "fully invested" Cougar fans and that is what gives.

Not long after that, I met up with my rebel-rousing friend Trish who has a special place in this heart of my mine. When I first met her, she was nothing but a fresh-faced hippie who showed me the best way to enjoy Europe (wouldn't you like to know?) Now she lives in a home in Lehi, has Mac-n-Cheese in her "pantry," makes friends in Relief Society and is expecting baby number four. And yet, in the course of conversation she did drop the word "Guinness" and that is how I know: she is still my Trish.

I love the rain. I love Trisha. I love it when BYU wins big.

When I was dry and safely at home, I snuggled with Chup and took a little nap. Later, I showered and put on my new, red, Izod sweater. Chup and I braved the rain to meet up with friends, The Wiley's at Bombay House for some warm Indian food. The company and food were so delightful that we stayed for over three hours, until we were the last patrons in the place.

At home I was so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes aroused (what?) Happily, I climbed into bed, adjusted my pillows accordingly and quietly remembered: it was My Perfect Day and I enjoyed it (for two.)