Just Take The 1-15

Chup just went ahead and decided to leave me for a couple days on a so-called "business trip." Normally, I don't mind a few days alone at home just to . . . you know . . . play solitaire. This time around though, I wasn't up to brave the nausea alone and so I packed my bags and headed to my parent's house. It was quite a journey. All five miles.

For my friends who don't choose to live in Utah, let me paint you a weather landscape: it is down right chilly. When my dad came home from work he built me a fire and I've been planted--with pillows and blankets--in front of that dazzling yellow heat source ever since.

The plus side is that I am toasty.

The down side is that The Councilwoman insisted that we watch the "Pride of Provo" on Dancing With The Stars.

For my friends who don't choose to live in Utah, let me tell you that apparently the "Pride of Provo" isn't me after all. It's Marie Osmond.

I've never watched Dancing With The Stars before, but that didn't stop The Councilwoman from asking me multiple questions. "Who is that judge?" "When do people vote?" "Why aren't these girls wearing anything modest?" "Are those real?" "Why does that host guy look like Ross from Friends?"

She really didn't ask that last one, but we all know it's true.

On the plus side, I get to sleep in my mother's linens in the guest room.

On the down side, Chup won't be here to get me a fruit bowl first thing in the morning.

Plus side, my parent's dog Nan will probably sleep with me and keep my temperature from dipping to frost.

Down side, though Nan is the four-legged daughter my parent's never had, she's a little bit stinky. Don't tell I said that, there will be theatrics. We don't need more drama from Nan, certainly when I am producing enough on my own.

Plus side, an over-sized bubbly bathtub on the second floor.

Down side, I have to go back to my own bathtub on the only floor in a couple days. No jets. No sharks either.

(Oh jeeze. On my parent's computer there is a little flashing temperature sign. It says 47 degrees. This constant flash of low-numbered digits is reminding me of how nippy my life is going to be for the next six months.)

For my friends who choose not to live in Utah, nippy means bitter cold.

Why don't you live in Utah anyway?