Massage these Messages

It's like a trend or something, but I keep getting e-mails from my friends that just confuse me. Here, you try and decipher these lines:

Dear c jane,

Did you join dog lovers?

Love, Bobby

Dear c jane,

I just realized I am supposed to blog about potato salad.

Love, Suddenly Inspired

Dear c jane,

They were blue dresses. With white collared shirts underneath: think a knocked up Alice in Wonderland.

Love, Bridesmaid

Dear c jane my so-called friend,
I wish you had told me what I was in for these last few weeks! I'm getting an average of three hours sleep, I have a foot constantly under my ribs, and my ankles are permanently swollen to the size of softballs. A little warning would have been nice!

Love, your Obviously Delirious Pregnant Friend

Dear c jane,

Hi, how are you? It's Jacqueline. I'm about to tell you something exciting that you really need to know about. I will not beat around the bush, I will hurry up and get straight to the point of this email. Only 32% of all females can . . .

Oops, sorry, I just realized that one was spam.

Dear c jane,

Pete is that you?

Love, Andrea

Dear c jane,

Wait, is Darla Denise?

Love Bobby (again.)

I also don't get High School Musical 2.
Fill a girl in...

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