Kelvin

Azúcar: Can you express to me in a mathematical term how much you want to wish Chupacabra Happy Birthday?

Other Half: It kind of doesn't apply.

AZ: Is there some kind of formula that would account for how cool he is?

OH: No, not really. However, if you're going to measure someone's coolness you're going to have to have a unit of measurement for example "the cool point" then we'd need some sort of scale.

AZ: Can we use Kelvin? I like Kelvin.

OH: No, you've already missed the idea that cool points are a unit of measurement. Since how cool someone is is relative, you kind of need an upper and lower bound on how much coolness there could be.

AZ: For example at the upper bound of cool would be Timbaland and the lower bound would be Jessica Simpson.

OH: No, for example if the upper bound of coolness was me, we could call it 10 points. And if the lower bound of coolness was Carlos Mencia, that would be a 0. Then, since we have an idea of what coolness is worth, I'd measure Chup at somewhere between 8 and 8.5. And to be honest, Chup can fluctuate depending on whether we're stuck talking with you and cjane (7) or if we can just talk amongst ourselves (9.5).

Happy Birthday Chup! Other Half says you're a 9.5 out of 10 on the coolness scale. Azúcar says you're so cool you're approaching absolute zero (Timbaland.)