Friday, July 27, 2007

The Day the Paparazzi Stalked Me

In an attempt to have more time to do sweet little services for friends, family, and the occasional stranger, I have decided to stop reading on-line celebrity gossip blogs. I know, I am the hero everybody, that's right, clap, clap.

I think I like to read celebrity gossip because I desire personal stories in my life. Hearing about other's lives is how I grow and personally progress. If you've ever met me (blessed be the day) you will know that I have an annoying tendency to ask an innumerable amount of questions which I can't help, though it occasionally embarrasses Chup to the core. My wife asks a lot of questions he warns people.

I like to hear the positive (mostly) but the negative stories are helpful too. Not helpful in a "oh good my life is definitely better than yours" sort of way, more like "ok, I am warned, stay a way from uncooked tadpoles" that sort of thing. (For the record, I do stay away from uncooked tadpoles and the like.) After all, inquiring minds want to know.

I am also keen on making connections. It's a small Mormon World out there. In my inquiry yesterday I found out that my friend and soul sister Carrie's husband's favorite uncle works with Chup on occasion. As it turns out, we all are a few personages away from knowing each other (Adam and Eve=Smile.) Also, in connecting it helps when people are from Canada because that country is huge in size but puny in population. Ever made connections with people from Alberta, especially Lethbridge? Hello! Eh?

Admittedly though, my inquisitive nature has two downfalls:
1.) Occasionally you will find that cypherous human being who DOES NOT LIKE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES! Believe me, they are no friends of mine.
And
2.) I always think of more questions to ask people after I am no longer in their presence.

Take for instance last night. Honey and Ringo came down from Idaho to visit, and spoil the solo granchild Phun. It was also Honey's birthday so we took her out to dinner at the beautifully-located Asian Star Restaurant. You know what I like about in-laws? You take them out for birthday dinners and they insist on paying. But anyway, after dinner we ended up at Kentucky and Md house for cake, ice cream and the SYTYCD results show (which Md can't get enough of.) By the time we headed home there was a terrible storm and about 7 feet of water on the freeway. As I was praying for us to make it home alive, I turned to see a man in a Geo Metro with paddles out both windows, rowing along up the point of the mountain. A VW bus had turned off its engine and was slowly floating around the lightening strikes. When Chup sped up I said swear words under my breath. (Like, "Ohhhh POOP!")

And then I started to think about the questions I forgot to ask that evening.

To Kentucky: When you looked up my dress this evening, did you like what you saw, or are there improvements that need to be made? (Be gentle.)

To Ringo: How long will you wear your Livestrong bracelet? And do you think it was wrong of me just to wear one for a week two years ago because it was off-the charts trendy and not because I thought it would ultimately find the cure for cancer?

To Honey: Do you know how much I admire your long legs? I have tadpole legs (and that is not because I eat undercooked tadpoles.)
To Phun: Uncle Fofahfah?

Md: Do you ever wipe your Guitar Hero guitars with anti-bacterial cleaning agents? Because when people play that game they get all nervous and sweaty. As a Medical Practitioner do you think that Guitar Hero sweat could cause a serious illness? And a statement: Guitar Hero 80's is the best installment thus far. And a thank-you: Thanks for always being a couple steps ahead of the ordinary consumer.

Also, was it wrong of me above to say that you can't get enough of SYTYCD when really you think it is an unbelievably silly show?

To Chup: Did you think we were going to perish in the I-15 flood last night?

And did you think that I wouldn't find this picture attractive?

Because I totally do.


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