Thursday, March 15, 2007

Linger Longer Eater Pants

You've got it. Yesterday I came to the post-birthday realization that in all the celebrating and late-night fake wine tasting, the c jane has indeed added some poundage to her short frame. This will not do. T'will not do at all.

So I've decided to take it easy on myself (now that I am thirty.) The only thing I am going to do is weigh myself every morning until I get back to my pre-party frame. My theory being that just the fear of getting on a scale will be motivation to get Ralph in the car and shake my derrier to some Lilly Allen (although, talk about dirtymouth! I need to throw that cd away, it's just that I can't live without her "Smile" right now...I'll get to that later, after I've regained my composure.) My other fear is feeling fat at Girls Camp. I can see me now with Cheetos cheese stained fingertips trying to build a fire. Pffff I only have like four months.

After I got off the scale yesterday I thought of my babelicious sister Stephanie. I hope she doesn't mind me saying so, but the girl has a body that rocks this existence. When she was here last week she got on Lucy's scale and proclaimed that she loved her life. Who does that? I've spent enough time with her to study her ways.

Here are her ways:
1.) Great genetics. She got our Aunt Liz's body, the body that Botticelli would paint.
2.) Don't hike the Y. Run the Y. And if you've never hiked to the Y then you've never tasted the sampler of Hell on Earth.
3.) Linger Eating.
I can't do much about 1 and 2 isn't looking good for this lifetime, but 3 I can try 3.

The definition of linger eating is this:
A practice common to nursing mothers, linger eating is the act of trying to feed yourself amidst multiple distractions causing one meal to last for several hours. For example, when a mother starts to eat her salad and hears her hungry baby, the meal is interrupted by the nursing. Mother returns to eating salad when 2-year-old needs a diaper change. Stop salad. Start Wet Wipes. Mother returns to salad and repeat.

Linger eating is also the style of the French. Eating in Paris is an all day event. You are seated, you order, the food comes and then you don't see your waiter until sunset when he asks if you'd like some coffee. My gosh I love that place.


Linger eating is also the style of the toddler-set. See:
Jane.

I decided to try linger eating just yesterday. I picked Cafe Rio because Stephanie loves Cafe Rio (so much so that she will have an IV of the stuff
post-birth.) I ate some of my salad at Cafe Rio, but became distracted by a recent bride showing-off her four-times-the-bible thick wedding album to a table of over-the-top-interested ladies. You know how I feel about big weddings at this point and so yes, the whole scene made me lose my appetite just a little bit. This was good.

When I got home I didn't stuff the salad into the fridge like I'd normally do. I say "stuff" but there are only a couple items in my fridge at the moment. Some weird truffles that Chup bought from a YW for her band trip and a jar of hummus. It never gets more crowded than that either.

Grocery shop? What?


I got the salad at 2pm. Yesterday I was online for the whole afternoon trying to answer the calls of my e-mail inbox. I'd type an e-mail and then eat a little, type another, until I finished that salad at 5pm.
Linger eating works my friends because at 5pm you don't want no dinners. (Regrettably though, I did not finish answering all my e-mails.)

This morning I accepted another rendezvous with my scale. You've got it. One pound was lost in my linger eating transaction. Thank you for your inspiration Stephanie.
Kiss. Kiss
.









But the real question is, do you love Chris Isaak's Baja Sessions? And if you don't, what is stopping you pray tell?


Chris Isaak - Think Of Tomorrow

(Loves to The Famous Kelly M. for introducing me to MusicJesus.com. A delicious way to spend one's time.)