Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Getting To Know Your Local Blogger


Enjoy It's FAQ
1. Sometimes I read your post to my blind Grandmother, how do I pronounce Chup?
Chup comes from Chupacabra the elusive Latin monster (once the subject for a Dora Explora episode I watched with my nephew Josue.) So Chup rhymes with "hoop" and not with "cup". Incidentally, my dogess Duchess is often referred to as Chuch, which rhymes "hutch" not with "hootch"-which she may have been if we hadn't shelled out for her hysterectomy.
2. How is Kentucky doing?
Kentucky is my brave sister-in-law who has the distinct honor of enduring 2 types of cancer in 2 years. She is doing well. MD decided to move her, and their offspring Phun (rhymes with pun) closer to me because of my mastery over various Spanish herbs (pronounced with the "h") and other such quandaries. I'd like to take this time to welcome them back to Zion (we all know Utah is Zion right?) and also to remind Kentuck (short for Kentucky) to take her Nostalgia Lemon Blossom Seed Oil under her tongue at night (it doesn't hurt to also make a wish!) just to ensure that the cancer doesn't return on my watch.
3. I love your siblings blogs, is the rest of your family funny?
Yes. Page, the eldest sister complains that she lacks a sense of humor, but she makes me laugh. We went to a David Gray concert in San Francisco when she was just pregnant with baby 6. Nelly Furtado opened for him. If you've ever seen Nellstar in real life you know that she is no bigger than your pinkie, and you are easily tempted to pick her up, put her in your pocket and have her sing "I'm Like A Bird" to you every night before bed. At one point Nellthumbalina jumped off the stage and started working it in the crowd. Suddenly the spotlight is on my shoulder and I look over at Page where she is sharing floor space with Nell, doing some side-to-side shuffle with her feet whilst chomping on a large carrot. "Where did you get that carrot?" I yelled across the crowd to her, the spotlight blinding me, TeeNelly between us breathing heavily into the mic. "I brought it so I wouldn't get sick! The bouncers didn't even care!" Side step left, side step right. And chomp.
Now that is humor folks, humor in the third degree.
4. Was that your husband on...?
Yes. Whatever.
But that is not him on the back of June's Ensign.
That is Quacajoele Bishop.
My husband, though he has been in almost every "Family Isn't About Time?" Homefront commercial, he has never made it in the Ensign. That will come when he is called as a GA. And he will be a GA someday, I married him only with that stipulation. Who wants to be married to an EQ when you could have free lunch at any temple cafeteria from here to Hamilton New Zealand? Me! That's whom.
5. Are you seeing a doctor for infertility?
Are you seeing a doctor about your uncontrollable urge to ask insensitive questions (hello!prozak!)? Actually, such questions don't bother me or my spouse because we call them "golden questions" (or GQs). We turn the conversation into a selling opportunity for some magic powder drink that we found from some nice folks in Cedar City. We aren't seeing a doctor right now. I don't want to and that is ok. We are just enjoying it.
6. I check your blog occasionally throughout the day and I am wondering, do you have a statcounter?
Oui. But I never look at the stats. I do like to see where people are coming from. Most peeps find me from Azucar's or ~J's blogs. (Thanks Ladies, I owe you lunch. But can you pay?)
7. Who takes your pictures and what camera is used?
Chupa takes my pictures on assignment and he uses his Nikon D-70. And yes I am fully aware that his pictures are the best part of my blog. He is also the best part of our marriage. Also, somedays I wake up and think he looks like Tim Robbins and then I have to run to the bathroom just to make sure that I don't look like Susan Sarandon with an anti-war agenda. Because guess who loves war? Me! That's whom.
8. Do you know the people of La Gazette de St-Pompain?
No I don't. But if I could trade my life with anyone on this planet it would be them. And the first thing I would do is buy a second pony for my son. Who gets ponies these days? It's awesome.
9. You said you were a vegan on one of your posts, but then you talk about eating cheese, what gives?
Who really says "what gives?" anymore? It's like a line from Newsies (which I watched for the first time last week heaven help me I was less uncomfortable during my first artificial insemination.) I had a straight up plant-only diet for about six months last year and loved it, but boy howdy is that hard to do. I eat mostly plants, some pita chips and whatever else when I feel moved on by the spirit of culinary pleasures. Who says "boy howdy" anymore? Me! That's whom.
10. Do you read your comments?
Of course I read my comments, but I always feel sheepish about posting, on my own post. I mean, I feel self-centered and self-important. Like, posting FAQ's on your blog. Who does that?













I think you know.