A couple of Sundays ago I had a panic attack. I'd love to go into details about why, but I can't really pinpoint the exact reason. I used to have them all the time--like seizures--but I've loosened up a little. I've learned to let things go.
During this little episode the other Sunday Chup ushered me out to the car. We ditched Sunday School and went for a drive to look for houses. We'd like to move. Is there a house in your area? Big garage please. Don't answer if you live in California. We can't afford you.
Around the neighborhood we passed by a house with a bench in front and a scribbled sign that read "For Free!" Perhaps part of my anxiety resulted in the fact that I couldn't find a front porch recliner that suited my tastes AND fit our concrete block-of-a-porch that is no bigger than a monkey's coffin.
Chup stopped and threw that baby right on top of the car as if he were roping a lost goat. The bench was all messed up. The special person that assembled it was on whiskey at the time. The wood looked like a splinters-in-your-bum playground. The thing needed our love.
The next day after church, I came home from work and my bench was reassembled, painted antique red, and sitting on my mini-porch saying "hello!" in a very lovely way.
Bottom Line: Blessings come when you ditch Sunday School. Try It.
These past few days I've been at Youth Conference. Did you miss me? Well, I was at Youth Conference. The Youth in my ward make me laugh--snortingly--on a constant basis. They are so clever and self-aware. They know that the answer is "teamwork" for all of those "get in to a group...hold hands...get in a huge human knot...unravel" activities. They said "If someone tells us to get in to a group one more time we are leaving to go sniff Nips on the side of the road." I take them so seriously too.
By-the-way what happened to Solos? You know Solos right? For part of the conference you were placed--by yourself--in a little spot where you couldn't see anybody and you had your scriptures and a letter from your parents talking about when you were little. You'd be there for like an hour or so, just thinking about how you never want to smoke and the type of eyebrows you want your future husband to have. Then a loud foghorn would blow and you would meet back at the lodge and all talk about who saw angels during their Solo.
Except, come to think of it, I never really was nice during those Solos. I grew up in a ward with like 25 of my cousins and we would meet up during those Solos and make-fun of people. I distinctly remember one time being with my cousins Sam and Jake and there was a big willow tree and a fire was started, willow tree was smokin', and it was funny but not really because it was a National Forrest.
(So nevermind about my question I posed earlier, what happened to Solos?)
But this Youth Conference I kept checking the schedule just to make sure there wasn't a Solo involved because now I can see why--as a leader--a Solo is a great idea. One hour of rest! One solid hour of no drama! So anyway, less "teamwork" activities, more Solos.
On the night of the dance I ran in to my mischievous brother Andrew who, unbeknowst to me, was there with his ward. Having two of us siblings in a Youth dance at one time is akin to leaving us on a Solo, resulting in Forrest Fires on Government Protected Land. There were two ward distinct dance-offs. His ward won the first one. The second one (much more intense) my ward clearly won when his young women pulled the same stunt over again. Boring! But Andrew hates losing so he made it seem like his ward won again, but it was clearly:
1 point for East side
1 point for West side
punch and cookies all around.
~J was there with mismatched socks.
I didn't mean for this to be like a travel log of Youth Conference or something. So just know, I am now a team player.
Except I have designated June 1st through June 19th as 19 days of ME. I won't be a team player as much during these days. It's whatever I want. Like a Solo but without the eyebrows.