Faking It and Faking It Well

Nope it's not.
Should it be?

Of course I am just responding to that question everyone asks around this time of the year.

"Is mother's day hard for you?"

If there is one thing my mother taught me, it's how to capitalize on a reason to party! She was such a party girl in her days! Still is! Yesterday I watched the Yankees pathetically lose to the Red Sox with her (she's got a HUGE orange Crush on that Jeter kid! My dad is so jealous!) Anyway, she throws a party just for a Yankee game! My dad made his homemade potato chips and fried zucchini! I love both!

So I just get all sorts of crazy on Mother's day. I take 2 plants from the Deacons when they come around after the Mother's Day Sacrament Meeting. (2!) (Don't tell the bishop!) Essentially, they give me one and I hide it under my seat. When the next Deacon comes along and asks,

"Did you get one Sister K?" all sensitive-like (Deacons have feelings too, sort of!)

I respond,

"No. But I would love one to fill the empty cavernous void I feel on holidays where we honor the matriarch that I may never be in this lifetime."

Carnation number 2! Score!

Besides I have been faking motherhood lately. Yes, faking it.

I went to dinner last night with some of my dearest friends (perhaps you know one of them?) Haley brought with her, to show and tell, her 3-week old Millie in a cute yellow basket (really, a car seat, but a basket sounds so quaint). Well, I just took that Millie right out of the basket and held that peanut snack in my arms until Haley had to pry her out of my contented fingers 2 hours later. She just snuggled right near my shoulders like that is where she belongs (Millie might be on the kids to napp list. Details on that later...)

People walking by were like,

"Look at that new lil baby!"

"She is so sweet!"

"How old is she?"

And I never once alluded to the fact that she wasn't my biological offspring. And Haley was happy for me (she has 2 others at home anyway...) I started to make up a birth experience just in case anyone asked, but nobody did.

Too bad to, it was a real doosey.

(Hint: It involved a mercedes, a mullet and a mockingbird. FANTASTIC!)

Last Saturday I went shopping with Page and her daughters for Olivia's birthday. 11-year old Olivia is following in correct paths because she would rather shop for her birthday than have a party at someplace like Fat Cats. Um. Nothing wrong with Fat Cats but wouldn't you rather be at 5-7-9?

Me too.

And Page dropped Vivian in my lap and said,

"She is yours today."

So I held my little girl and bounced her around all day as we waited outside of dressing rooms for Olivia to come out and show us her latest find in schoolwear. When Vivy slept I cuddled her and when she cried I nursed her.

(Just seeing if you were still with me.)

So happy mother's day to real and fake mothers alike!

Post Script: I think Ralphy and Duchess made me something for the Big Day! They are being so secretive-like. Something must be up! Maybe they went to Jared's?

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