Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Mad As Hell And Not Making Sense


I was eating Sunday dinner with my dad this past week when I asked him about these pesky caucus meetings. He said that I should attend one to vote for someone to vote for me to vote for what was I talking about?

Dad said that the caucus meetings are organized by political parties. He went on to explain that my forefathers had entered a solemn pact of Republicanism. Any ensuing posterity sympathetic to any other party would be entirely cut off from familial blessings. Dad is sure this is the unarguable reason why my partner and I can't produce offspring. Only one of us is Republican in name, and he doesn't vote. Well, he did once, but you can read his blog about that. (What? My partner doesn't have a blog? Insurmountable!)

Of course I am writing crazy here.

This is what really happened:
Me:
Dad where do I go for the caucus meeting on Tuesday?
Dad: Well it depends on if you are a Republican or Democrat.
Me: How do I know...for sure?
Dad: Get on your knees and pray about it.

Which sounds easy enough right? So I went home and did just that and the answer is... it doesn't matter. Republican or not, I will still brush my teeth every morning with a red/pink toothbrush. Democrat or not, I will still get chapped lips every time I go into a Circuit City store with my husband (all that electricity!) Liberal, Conservative, Green, Algore, Comewhathaveyou and I will still insist on not drinking water out of a mug.

And while I am at it. Does anyone care that the Dixie Chicks are still Mad As Hell? I am Mad As Hell that you would even think that I care that you are Mad As Hell, Natalie! Please sing more about Who Killed Earl and Mattress Dancin'.

That's right! Kick up some real dust!

I mean is everyone done being so crazy political? Because I've got some great ideas about how to bring Winchell's donuts back into existence. And it's going to take everyone pulling together...