Saturday, January 21, 2006

Reasons Why I Am Not Yet A Mother

Lego is my cure for wanting to create something. Yesterday I built a tower that should be on the Lego box. And I am not one to toot my own horn. Yes I am.
When Page and Vance got home I was like "Oh, hello. Did you have a nice trip?" but I didn't really listen because there was final touches to be made on my tower. So I was like "Uh-uh?" and "Oh really?" or "Custom-made suits! How nice!" Where is that flat two piece? Digging in the Lego box. More digging. Pulling apart something that one of the kids made so that I can have the needed piece.
Same thing happened with those "I Spy" books. I get distracted by trying to locate the objects (which rhyme "I spy a toothbrush, a fire hydrant, a hairball/6 Hershey kisses, a key and your Uncle Paul") and the 2-year-old is trying to turn the page because she is bored. Meanwhile, I stay her hand as I haven't yet found the flying toaster. Finally, the 2-year-old gives up and moves on to eating things off the floor and I spend the next 2 hours obsessed, or engrossed. Where is that dang swordfish! When the other kids offer to show me I get so mad! I am no quitter! Yes I am.
Then somebody turns on the Harry Connick Jr. and I am up and dancing like a cat on fire! As long as he is singing I am turning and kicking and somersaulting until I have embarrassed all kids in the room. The 2-year-old is screaming "Stop Conan! Stop!" But I can't help myself. I live to dance! My Motto: Shut-up and dance! No it's not.
Well, it looks like I have some growing-up to do. Children need a parent, not an OCD mother, right? And by OCD, I mean Obsessively Connick Dancing. Now try to find that in the DSM V!