Monday, January 9, 2006

Having Fun In Manitoba

It's official: Analogies don't work for me.
Aesops fables? Yes.
Because I love talking animals? No.
Parables? Yes.
Allegory? Yes. Please.
I really think we are stretching the analogies lately. I mean, it's not requisite to have an analogy to start a talk, right? There is no handbook rule. I mean, sometimes we really push it. And it's getting to me.
I am still trying to figure out where President Monson's stories fit in. Let me explain: Christian, my bro-in-law has tried to help me see that they are modern day parables. What if, 50 years from now, FARMS dissects President Monson's talks and finds hidden messages about the apocalypse or something. I am not making fun here, I am quite serious. What if? I think Christian is right, they aren't just cute stories.
Which reminds me of a story and IT'S NOT about President Monson:
When I was on my mission we started teaching a lady named Avril. Not only did she have naked pictures up of her in the bathroom, she was also a former witch from Manitoba (what else do you do in Manitoba?) One day we were showing her the general authority picture from the conference Ensign when she started to move her hand over the page. Closing her eyes, she said a chant, or something, and said, "One of these men is an imposter!" Quickly, I looked away before she pointed to the "one" (because...what if she were right???) Since that moment I have wanted to make some analogy out of that story -just so it would make sense in my head somehow. But truth be told, it's just a quirky thing that happened to me in some wooded Army housing in a town called Shannon, Quebec. It's a spade. And that is all it is.
But anyway, can we keep the analogies to a minimum? And the same goes for parrot jokes, as well as quoting Steve Covey (C.S. Lewis? Sure) and saying things about how next time you aren't going to mow your lawn when the bishopric is out looking for speakers.
Now if you will excuse me, I am off to out-do Christopher's FHE lesson from last week.
Wish me luck.