Warning: I Wrote This Post While Drunk

I just feel silly. I mean who posts 12 pictures of themselves in the past year? But it took me so long that like hell I am deleting them. Oh yes, like hell, I said.
Now it's 9:30pm and I am feeling a little, um, I don't know. Maybe empty. But not empty in the stomach, because I have had 4 dinners tonight (including the pita chips, hummus and ginger ale dinner and the dinner made entirely out of Carina's caramel sauce).

Kids, I need a schedule, a routine (if you like it in French). This holiday sit-around-and-feel-fat is getting to my head. I am starting to schedule things like:
(_/= check mark, I know, clever!)
_/Write New Year's resolutions (2:00pm)
_/Become more original (2:55pm)
_/Watch back to back episodes of "Daisy Does America" (9/9:30pm)
_/Convince husband that "I can too, act!" (10pm and on)
_/Call my BFF forever and ask her to remind me of how funny I was that one year at girl's camp (4:45 Please Note: Leave a message cause she never picks up).
_/Write checks with HUGE amounts to people whom I would like to impress (6:77)
_/Check the mail (just after our mailman SLAMS our mailbox shut so loud that it shakes the whole house afterwhich I say "take it easy buddy")
_/Pretend that I am asleep on the couch so that CK will think that I am such a tired little angel that is soooo cute (7:88)

What do you mean that 7:88 isn't a real calculable time?

Maybe it's the Cherry 7-Up.

One of our neighbor's gave us Cherry 7-Up for Christmas. Christopher said he would rather go to Hades than even sip that "rabid monkey's saliva" so instead of throwing it away along with the other neighborhood tokens of Christmas love, I have been drinking it every night in my fort.
(Cherry 7-up also impairs your run-on sentence capabilities.)
But I have NEVER had Cherry 7-up before so it's a novelty for me. I drank it as I watched a tear jerking Scrooged (Bill Murray! You're Too Much! I love Lost In Trans!)

But seriously.

Page, I know that you never read my blog but if you do, don't feel mad or angry at me that I have a Cherry 7-Up drinking problem. I promise I will get help. After the holidays, when I feel like a real person again and I will go back to straight POM juice. Even though think anti-oxidants are a huge and silly load of carp.
Bottoms Up!

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