Tuesday, November 8, 2005

Vogue

Dear Dollface,

I am writing to tell you that I believe in reinvention. That is what we do right? We change and change until something feels right. I want you to know that I have a feeling reinvention is what we will be doing for eternity.
So I have come to accept it as a normality. It happens.
Reinvention is the reason why sometimes I feel anxiety before I pray. Prayer inspires change, and that, I must admit at times is scary. I have also come to realize that anxiety is the physical manifestation of unwillingness or, faithlessness. This is also normal. Anxiety may be remedied by humility (did I just type that Dollface? Deep breath). Just try it -maybe I am right about this one.
When my hair frustrates me I cut it. When it bores me I color it. When I don't have the money to do either I just pull it back until I do. These are tiny acts of reinvention. You know what I am talking about, right?
Self-awareness also inspires change. It makes a good person better. It saves relationships. It saves you from yourself.
I used to visit a healer who had a new remedy for my one ailment with every visit. Don't eat things that are orange, or use essential oils in your bedroom at night, repair your relationship with so and so, or whatever. This was very disappointing to me as it seemed quite directionless. Oh, but now, now I realize that healing takes many remedies. One day you might wake-up and not eat for a month. You might decide to quit the gym for exercise that includes an interchange with nature. Possibly one incredible discussion about The Atonement at a friend's doorstep might make you feel tremendously better. This to say that reinvention takes on many forms, and, will ultimately heal you.
I must warn you before you take my advice seriously and start on that road of personal progression. Sometimes you are asked to do things, by divine guidance, that seem outrageous. Just do them. Remember humility is also synonymous with confidence. Also, you might be called a few choice words by those around you. I have heard these words: flaky, unpredictable, weird, and unaccountable.
Soon enough though, they will catch on and love you for it. Love you in ways that are unimaginable.

Happy Changing!

-Your Courtney