Friday, March 22, 2013

C. Jane Vlog: About that Bachelor Party

Another vlog with another awesome freeze frame. This time I tell my most embarrassing moment.
Hurts to even revisit . . .


Here are some places where you can divulge humanity's greatest offenses to your self-respect:
Instagram

Happy weekend!

p.s. Look! We cleaned the Green Room! Fait accompli! 

46 comments:

Whimcees said...

Hello!

You are such sweethearts! I love you both! Wishing you a happy weekend!

Hugs,

Barbara Diane

Sarah Hull said...

I seriously almost peed my pants! I died over that story as I can almost hear the crickets chirping! That is seriously SO FUNNY!!! Love that you shared that moment, it made my day!

Amanda Bare said...

I have so many embarrassing stories and a lot of them came while I was young and VERY stupid in the Navy and involved alcohol. Thankfully, I have grown up and rarely have a sip of alcohol.

I LOVED your story! I like how you have a sense of humor about it. It might have been embarrassing then, but it sure makes a good story now. I really need to start writing all of my life stories down, or even recording them, so my daughter can enjoy hearing them someday. I regret not writing down all of my grandma's stories she told me as a kid. I vaguely remember them, but not in detail. I have written down all that I remember in the family history project that I have been working on for years.

I can't wait to hear more stories from you. Have a great day!

Amanda Bare said...

Alright! I lied! My most embarrassing moments happened to me when I was a kid. Starting in middle school, I would tell my mom that I had crushes on certain boys. One of them lived only a couple blocks away. As we were driving my one day, she decided to honk her horn and start yelling at hi at the boy who was standing outside at that moment. Obviously, I would slide down in my seat and do everything to hide myself. She did this on several other occasions with boys, which is probably the reason I stopped telling her who I liked!

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

My husband was a helicopter pilot in the Marine Corps (he has since retired.) The kind of helicopter you fly very much becomes a big part of your identity.

So, after five years in a squadron, it was time for us to take new orders. The ceremony where you welcome new pilots/say good-bye to pilots leaving is called a Hail and Farewell and it's kind of a big deal involving speeches and gifts.

So, in front of over a 100 people I presented my husband with a model of his helicopter for his desk.

It was the wrong helicopter.

I had ordered the Army version and it is clearly a different helicopter. Why I didn't notice before hand I cannot say.

It got very quiet while the crowd puzzled over why I had just presented my husband with the model of a helicopter he had never flown.

The commanding officer said something nice along the lines of the "it's the thought that counts" and hustled us off the stage.

I'm still blushing.

Lynne said...

with that crowd I'm assuming there's video footage of this somewhere so you can show us all for your next vlog??

Becca said...

I love the way Chup looks at you at the end of that video!!!

Embarrassing moment: 9th grade, sanitary pad failure while wearing Light pink pants and sitting cross legged in a circle of classmates. Died!!

Brooke said...

I literally just wrote a blog post about this yesterday. Except the embarassing moments aren't just mine.... They are also taken from a plethora of anonymous friends and BOY are they good haha! http://brookeshowalter.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-literal-worst-things-that-can-ever.html

Russanne said...

http://russannekyle.blogspot.com/2012/01/flashbacks-story-about-number-one.html

I blogged my embarrassing story about a year ago. It's worth a read...

Megs said...

I love it. Thanks for the LOL! As for me...one time in college, surrounded by friends (mostly boys), I tripped over a table leg at subway and not only did I fall on my back but the damn table fell down on top of me.

I tried to laugh, birds chirped, everyone stared, no one came to help...and by golly it was the most awkward moment in my history.

PS I'm a new follower, and can I just say I think you are the greatest?! The greatest. I love much needed inspiration, and YOU ARE IT.

xoxo

Meghan
meandmine-blog.blogspot.com

Butternutsage said...

My most embarrassing moment happened at my local breakfast spot back in 1989ago......it was the week after the huge San Francisco Bay earthquake when the Bay Bridge had collapsed. I was from the east coast and a man in our town had been out to SF on business and had been trapped in the collapse and subsequently died. His funeral was being planned and I had dreamed the night before the memorial service that he had been found and was safe. It was so realistic that I believed that I heard the news on the television while I was half asleep.

The next morning I went to breakfast and saw the person who was going to give the eulogy at the service paying for his breakfast and I ran up to him and the store owner excited and grateful for the news. When I said how wonderful it was that (so and so) was rescued and safe the look that came across their faces made me want to crawl under a rock. It was not until then that I realized I had dreamed the info and not heard it on the radio. I felt ashamed and totally embarrassed for being such an idiot.

HUGS cJane from Donna in Massachusetts

ellen said...

http://ellenpatton.blogspot.com/2008/10/there-is-no-reason-to-not-vote.html


Then there was the time at BYU when I was at my brother's apartment in Roman Gardens and he was tickling me and I wet my pants and I was mortified and ran out of the apartment and towards my apartment and he followed me and yelled into the open courtyard, "ELLEN PATTON WET HER PANTS!" Yeah, thanks, nice brother.

Colleen said...

My most embarrassing moment was when I was probably 14. In a tank top and underwear, I decided to stand on a chair so I could check out my butt in the mirror. I didn't have a full-length mirror, so how else was I to accomplish such a thing? Problem is, my brother later informed me that he and several of his (older, cute) friends were walking by at the time and I'd left my blinds open. Needless to say, I've been very good about closing the blinds since then.

lacycox said...

Ok seriously, you two are so stinking adorable! I could sit and read your blog all day every day (which I usually do...and then I remember I have a one year old, haha oops) I just love love love how you write, it's absolutely awesome. Thank you for being you!!!

Mrs. Ellis said...

I had recently started taking birth control pills again and was having a hard time remembering to take them, especially since we were on vacation and we weren't on our normal routine. My husband set an alarm on his phone to help remind me to take it. One night all of my husbands family were gathered together. Each of the siblings live in different states and we aren't all together very often. We were kneeling down for family prayer, with my husband saying it. And the alarm goes off in the middle of prayer. He couldn't find his phone to turn it off so the alarm played all the way through. None of this would've been too terrible, except that the alarm was an excerpt from Bruno mars' lazy song--- the part that goes "meet a really nice girl have some really nice se*. She's gonna scream out this is great". So everyone from the toddlers to the mother and father in law heard it loud and clear. I still blush thinking about it and every time I hear that song.

The Atomic Mom said...

7th grade: I dropped my lunch tray when I slipped on the wet floor. No biggy, I went back, got another lunch. Slipped in the exact same spot. Went back got another lunch. Slipped in the exact same spot. By this time the whole room was laughing at me. I ran and hid for the rest of lunch in the washroom. Starved the rest of the day and decided from then on to bring my lunch and eat far away from tile floors.

Natasha Watts said...

My boyfriend and I ate at J-Dawgs right before leaving for his home in Colorado. Bad idea.

I didn't even make it through Price Canyon. We pulled off onto a side road and I jumped out and shoved my pants down, all while yelling that if he looked this way I would murder him.

He proposed two days later.

Tricia said...

"blow-up toys" Awesome :)

Emily said...

Mine...well. I was headed home from Utah to Wyoming and all of a sudden I really needed to use the bathroom...REALLY BAD. Luckily the TA rest stop was just a few minutes away. So I ran in, when straight for the first available door and did my business...I was in there probably 10 minutes. I was in such pain I had to stiffle my moans of pain...

Anyway, every once in a while I would hear a little snicker but didn't think anything of it, until I stood up to flush. Nothing happened. So I tried again. No flushing. Oh CRAP! LITERALLY!!

So I wait while the person that was still in there left and I ran out, stopping just long enough to see the sign on the door.

"Out of ORDER."

I have never been back.

tam said...

Was on the phone with a boy when I was a freshman in highschool My mom kept picking up, telling me that I needed to get off of the phone. I kept saying "just a sec, Mom!". On the 10th time she picked up, I said "just a sec!" and she shouted, "No! No more secs!" (which sounds like sex...) I was mortified!

Your story had me rolling... Thanks for sharing!

Chelsea Michelle said...

I truly have so many incredible embarrassing moments that it is hard to pick, but this one for sure tops them all.

Every year my grandmother would take the whole family to Lagoon and it was a blast. One of our traditions was to go on the ferris wheel, and no matter how long the line, we always made sure it happened. This particular day we waited in line for a good hour. By the time we got to the front I realized, "man, I gotta tinkle!". Considering I am really good at holding it and there was a sign that said it was only a 20 min ride, I knew for sure I could hold it that long. With ease.

Well, we got on the ride and I hardly thought about my bladder. After a while we started stopping a lot to let people off. By the time I got to the top of the ride we sat waiting for what I thought was a little longer than usual. Eventually the announcer came on and said, "ladies and gentleman...we apologize, but there are some technical difficulties and it is going to be about an hour wait."

"Oh well", I thought. I knew I could hold it for a lot longer than I already had. Well, time went on and over an hour went by. And then another. The laughter grew louder, and my bladder holding skills became less and less.

Not hard to guess that I wet my pants.

I could TOTALLY handle that experience, embarrassing as it is, but apparently there are - get ready for it - drain holes in the bottom of the seats. Yes, you did read that right...holes. Urine+holes+high up above people = urine dripping on people underneath. I can't describe to you the horror.

Of course I had to walk off that ride at 15 years old, and everyone knew it had been me that just peed on them with my soaking wet jeans. Good times.

Best. Day. Ever.

jmi said...

Hello,
Long time lurker, first time commenting. Thank you for all the laughs. I seem to be embarrassed by less things as I get older, but here's a story that puts the awk in awkward: A few years back I was getting my annual mammogram. I successfully finished getting my left breast x-rayed and was switching around the gown to ready my right breast for compression. The technician tucked it in between the plates, clamped the plates down until my breast was the required pancake thickness. She instructed me to not breathe (as if I could) and went behind the glass to take the x-ray. Next thing we knew, the electricity in the entire building WENT OUT! The technician carefully made her way over to me in the pitch dark and tried to manually release the clamps. No dice. At that moment, another nurse knocked on the door and said,
"Is everything all right in there?" "Uh... no, not really", was my reply. Fortunately, within a few minutes, the electricity went back on in the building. The machine though refused to let go and stubbornly held on to my flattened (forever?) breast. My husband is a volunteer fireman, and I had visions of he, and all his friends, having to rescue my right breast from the jaws of this mammogram machine. Then, when I least expected it, the mammogram machine came to life and gratefully let me have my breast back. The technician was mortified that I had to endure such an experience. I reassured her that it would be great story to tell. I hope you enjoyed it. Belated Happy birthday to you!

Delirious said...

Mine happened in 6th grade. Of course, we were all easily embarassed in 6th grade. My class had an end of year party at the roller skating rink. I didn't really know how to roller skate very well. I was skating along and noticed my teacher and his wife coming up behind me very fast. I couldn't move out of the way, and neither could they. I just doubled over and waited for the impact. I'm not sure how it happened, but I ended up stuck between my teacher's legs. I could have died a thousand deaths right there.

Megan said...

One that came to mind:
My husband and I like to go dance, like 40's style, ballroom, swing, etc. Always more of a leader than a follower at dancing, I decided that he was going to dip me. Only I neglected to communicate that to him. It was the end of a nice slow song. So I/we went for the dip, and I fell flat on my back on the ground. In my nice dress. He handled it gracefully--helped me up and all. I was mortified but we just kept dancing.

sarah jane's journal said...

So I was in a swimming competition & had to do 2 lengths of the backstroke. For some reason we dived in & began our laps - well apparently after diving in & flipping over onto my back I did not realise that my swimsuit had come down & my ta tas (can I say) were on display for the whole world to see. I noticed my boyfriend at the time running along side the pool & I thought to myself 'oh bless him - he's cheering me on'. Now I realise he might have just wanted a better look!
Anyway I did 2 lengths basically topless & was mortified beyond belief when I reached the end. I took a lot of heat for that one from friends & family. The only thing my parents said were ' guess its time to get you a new suit!'

Susan said...

I was attending a large education convention with 300+ teachers. While walking across the front of the room before the presentation I tripped on an extention cord and went face down on the floor. There was complete silence for a few seconds and then a collective gasp. I got myself up, looked at everyone looking at me, threw my hands up in the air and took a big bow. Everyone laughed and I spent the rest of the meeting trying to hide in the back of the room.

Camille said...

It was 6 in the morning and I was waiting for my friend to come over and exercise with me, when I heard this car speeding down the street, so I looked outside and saw this car that I didn't recognize pull into my neighbors driveway. Two seconds later it pulled out of the driveway and went straight to my other neighbors and so on! I was freaking out! This driver was obviously under the influence and did not know where he was going! So I called 911 and described the situation to the operator, she had me go outside and see where the car was at that moment..."they are down my street! and the car is at my neighbors now!! Now my next door neighbors, he needs to be STOPPED!!" So after my good deed and several hours later I called my friend and started to describe the INSANE drunk man driving through the neighborhood and before I got to the 911 part she said "that's just paper boy. He drives in everyones driveway." Then it hit me, yeah, that was the paper boy so I told her I called the cops on him.

Tracy Walters-Madison Manor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsay said...

I have never been one to get embarrassed until I got married. My husband is such a type A, outgoing, funny, loud. Well 3 years ago at his company Christmas party he was asked to dress as Santa and tell jokes, pass out gifts, and poke fun at the CEO. He did an awesome job and really had he crowd into it. Well I went up close to take pictures and as he finished up he walked towards me and I was worried what he would do. Well he grabbed me and dipped me down and kissed me and then smacked me on the butt! He walks away and I turn to the 60 people staring at me with a red face and my hair sticking up all over because of the static from the Santa beard!

Bits and Pieces of Me...Emily! said...

One of my many embarrassing moments, and there are many. Youth conference, camping some place in Idaho. We were playing night games and it was getting cold, and a very nice, very cute boy offered me his coat. I stuck my hand in the pocket, felt something in it, thought maybe it was a glove, pulled it out and it was his tighty whities. I died. At 15.

Andrea said...

Love your blog!
Ok my most embarrassing story is when I was 17. I had been sick for a week with the crud-fever, cough, chills, stuffiness etc.
I was finally starting to feel better and went to my church youth group. It was very crowded that night and I was sitting on the floor near the middle of the room.
Suddenly I sneezed the biggest sneeze I have have ever sneezed in my life. The force of the sneeze made me pass gas at the same time. It was loud. There was no getting out of it. Everyone knew, everyone laughed, and I was mortified.
Now I can laugh about, but it was so horrific at the time.

whalen said...

True story

Bathing suit backwards at a waterpark

Wore it like that for 5 rides until my niece told me that the cups on my back were filing up with water.

This was a case where I was
multi-tasking while trying to get dressed. That is the only excuse I have!

Sarah said...

Oh my word. i am dying laughing, these are hilarious! Okay, here's mine:

My family had a yearly tradition to go to some friend's ranch and do a cattle round-up every year. One year, I was on my period, and I thought about not going (because we're out in the middle of the desert with no potty's all day for 12-14 hours) but I didn't want to miss the fun, so I went.

Anyway, it was the 2nd or 3rd day of my cycle and I was bleeding super heavy. I thought I had been prepared... A tampon and super thick pad. But no... I was riding my horse all morning and didnt notice that I had started to leak... Ugh. We switched shifts (and riders) and when I went to get off my horse, I noticed blood ALL OVER THE SADDLE!! The guy taking my place was this super cute friend of the family that I had been crushing on for years. Mortified doesn't even cover it. I wanted to DIE.

He didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he took it in stride and hopped right on the horse without saying a word. I spent the rest of the day hiding in the truck with a jacket tied around my waist.

The saddle still carries that stain from my unfortunate accident... *smh*

Just Me And The Boys said...

So, I'm really getting into this "loving your body and all its curves because we're all beautiful creators of life" thing when a semi-acquaintance at the store yesterday asked me if I knew what gender the baby is. I'm not pregnant. In fact, this person is so out of touch they obviously don't know I'm recently divorced. Double Whammy, super embarrassing trying to dig both of us out of that one. Luckily, I can laugh it off but a smaller person would cry themselves to sleep. I AM struggling "loving" my body that birthed three children in under four years, though. :)

Reid said...

My go-to embarrassing moment: I was 19 and working in the same downtown building as my dad (in Phoenix). He worked on the 4th floor, I was on the 10th. We often had lunch together. One day, as we rode on a very crowded elevator after lunch, the doors opened on the 4th floor and my handsome 50ish dad grabbed either side of my face with his hands, turned me toward him and gave me a loud smacky kiss. He then said, "Thanks for lunch, sweetheart. I'll call you next time I'm in town." With that, he exited the elevator, the doors shut and I rode in stunned silence with (I figured) two dozen pair of judgmental eyes boring holes in the back of my head. I love the story now - not so much then!

Ash said...

i have just barely gotten to a point where i can even tell the story of my most embarrassing moment. (seriously, for years i would beat myself up and say oh my gosh oh my gosh when i'd think about it). i wrote an english paper about it not too long ago and the teacher read it out loud to the whole class. pretty sure everyone was embarrassed for me.

i had a boss who lived in europe but would travel to our office in the states fairly regularly. one hot summer day (california in august) he flies into town. he decides to be frugal and stay in his office rather than getting a hotel. i should add that we did not have a shower in the building and he was already known for not showering regularly and would often wear the same clothes a few days in a row. a couple days into his stay his office was smelling pretty ripe. i popped into his office to talk to him about a few things. after our conversation i went back to my office and jumped on yahoo messenger (we all used it in the office, bosses included). my plan was to tell the other girl in the office how bad his office smelled...what actually happened? i sent the message to him instead. awful. i went to his office and tried to play it off. i blurted out that his office stunk and i told him i messaged him about it. of course as soon as he read it he knew it wasn't meant for him. humiliating for both of us. ultimately he announced over the loud speaker to the office and warehouse he was going to go shower and went and got a hotel. the worse part is that he was actually a friend in addition to a boss. i learned a huge lesson!

Unknown said...

In 4th grade, my class went swimming. I changed, showered, and excitedly ran out to the pool. All of the boys in the class were in the pool already (since they are much faster at 'showering' than the girls). I got all their attention as I was about to cannon ball it into the pool. I wondered why they were all staring at me in such weird ways, and realized I had forgotten to put on my swimming suit.

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

You are looking great CJane :)!! Just sayin'

Sparcam said...

I usually only tell this one to my kids! I was 16 and standing behind the podium in the debate room in high school. There were just a few of us...but enough to spread the word! A senior boy who I had a major crush on, came up behind me and poked both of my sides...as I was trying to NOT pass gas. Well, the inevitable happened. I tooted on him and he fell to the floor like I'd hit him!

Sarah said...

When I was 16 I had just moved from Boston to Philadelphia and I joined a youth temple trip to the D.C. Temple. All the youth and leaders piled into a school bus early that morning for what was expected to be about a 4-hour trip to the temple. About an hour into the trip I developed a stomach bug - the worst case of diarrhea I had and have since ever experienced. There was no bathroom on the bus so I had to tell a leader and we ended up having to stop every 20-30 minutes at a restroom and my YW leader ended up buying me this HUGE tank of a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. It was so embarrassing sipping down that bottle with the leader, who was a nurse, telling me that there was no way to overdose on Pepto and to keep drinking. Then continuing to stop the whole bus of people every 30-minutes so I could run to the bathroom again, and again.

Emily Foley said...

Oh there are so many. SO MANY. But this one takes the cake. Freshman year at BYU, we heard about a dance at UVSC. We thought we were pretty hot stuff (me in my chinos and buttoned up purple shirt...). A guy started break dancing so a circle formed around him and me and my friend ended up right at the front of the circle. The break dancer went to do a back-handspring but apparently the circle was too small, because as he flung himself back he kicked me in the crotch. SO hard. All of the guys in the circle gave a collective "ohhh!" and the break-dancer stood up and asked if I was okay. It honestly didn't hurt that bad it was just so embarrassing. We laughed all night about it and me and Andrea still die laughing when we think about that night. The worst was when I had finally forgotten about it and dudes would ask me to dance and be like, "Are you the chick that got kicked in the crotch?" Yes. Yes I am.

Vesuvius At Home said...

I don't talk about my most embarrassing moment but it involved speech class, a twinkly-eyed male feminist grad student who I had a huge crush on, and a "detachable penis". I still don't know quite what that is.

Tuesday said...

So many hilarious moments in the comments. Skating and ending up stuck between your male teacher's legs, as a 6th grader--oh I can imagine it. Horrific. Laughed while reading, but I would have died along with you. And the backwards bathing suit cups filling up with water--I'm still laughing.

Mine happened when I was a new x-ray tech long years ago. So young, so sweet. Patients loved me. I was doing a fairly long series in the room right off the waiting room and my fellow tech opened the door a couple times to go run film for me. After a bit I noticed a smell wafting into the room. A really odd smell for a hospital, kind of camp-firey and smoky, like a cook-out. Ooh, a cookout! Our unit sometimes did that, although I'd never been able to smell it inside before. I finished my series, threw open my door and faced the waiting area. Gave a huge, appreciative sniff and bellowed out in my best Foghorn Leghorn impersonation, "Ah do, Ah say AH DOO buh-lieve Ah smell BAH-be-que!" Stunned silence all around, horrified gasps. My smile fades. There front and center in their wheelchairs are two little old people with soot marks all over them, wispy hair with smoke STILL puffing around. Waiting for their chest x-rays after whatever nightmare experience they'd just had, staring at me so very shocked.
I laugh about it now (they were ok) but at the time I felt so horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me.

Carrot Jello said...

"Blow up toys", eh?
Is that what you call them when there are children around?

C. Jane Kendrick said...

Oh I love everyone of you for sharing. I am still laughing. Laughing. Laughing. Laughing.

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