Hello My Friends,
I am taking a break from blogging for the rest of July--I am working on some other writing projects. I'll be back the first part of August. In the meantime, may I recommend listening to the new Lower Lights album? It's really great.
Also, if you would be so kind as to leave me a comment when you have a moment, telling me why you love to read female narratives. I am starting to lose hope. By female narrative I mean, reading the hearts of women.You know, the good stuff.
Love to you and yours,
C. Jane
p.s. I'll be updating here:
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126 comments:
I received some good advice years ago; that I should read biographies. They are especially meaningful to me because they show me what is possible. Reading narratives about women, in particular, is very motivating for me!
Well, this is scary being the first to comment... but I started reading your blog right after my first daughter was born. I was really struggling with the whole concept of motherhood, appreciating my postpartum body, and just being a woman in general, honestly. After I found your blog I spent days looking through old posts and I found lots of favorites that have helped me feel less alone as I try to be good at this life I was given. Blogs are a little awkward. I feel like you and I are pals even though we've never met. But thanks for being a pal, anyway.
Oh phew! I wasn't the first. But I, too, love reading biographies. It's my favorite favorite genre. Blogs are awesome because you get to watch the biography unfold right there as you are having similar experiences along the way. Thanks for writing your blog, even though people are rude to you sometimes. Chin up!
I love to read female narratives because I am always looking for women to admire - every woman has her own story that encompasses pain, joy, defeat, and victory. I want to read every story I can so that when I feel discouraged and depressed, I can remember that others have been there, done that, and gotten through it.
Women are fascinating! We should all share our stories.
When I was a teenager I loved to read fantasy stories - with adventures and magic and dragons and excitement. My Gradfather scoffed at these books and told me I should read non-fiction. Of course I ignored him - he was an old retired Bank Manager. What did he know? A couple of years ago I realised that I had left the stories I loved as a young adult behind. Now I seldom read a novel (usually only if my teenaged daughter has read it and wants to discuss it with me). Otherwise I read non-fiction, books about history or science, politics or biographies. I have realised that my Grandfather was right all along (I've realised he was right about most things - he saw the Banking Crisis of the last few years coming decades ago). Anyway - this is a long, rambling way of saying that one of the things I love to read is about real women. Their decisions and trials. Keep writing Courtney!
I like to read narratives for many reasons. Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cry, sometimes they make me think about myself. Mostly they give me hope that I am doing okay now and that I can do better and change. Not everything I read affects me but often enough I hear God's voice through the blogs I read and am I very grateful for women like you who continue to write and share your stories.
I love it because no one knows a woman like another woman.
That's enough for me.
I NEED other women and their voice. I need that connection. I need to know I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy, that I can DO this...whatever "this" may be: motherhood, loving my body, working, going to school, or just surviving.
I just need it.
Blogs and I are in a fight right now, have been for almost a year. But I still really love reading auto biographies. You should ask a couple of women that you trust their...book taste...for their favorites and do a bit of reading in July. I don't know if that would help you with blogs. But I think it would with falling in love again with women writers, narratives, life stories, etc. I think summer time is rough on blog writers in general for some reason. No one is at their peak! I only have a family blog and I can barley keep it up without whining in every post.
because when we read your story, we know we aren't alone. and when i feel like i'm slowly being swallowed up in the tiresome/stressful/chaotic mess that being a mother sometimes entails? i can breathe a bit easier when i get to laugh at, cry about, and resinate in the fact that mothers, everywhere, are walking this same treacherous path. i'm not alone. and reading others' stories provide some hope :) they allow for camaraderie in this momma gig. thank you for always sharing your honest heart, cjane! i love it.
fiction is fun, but biographies are real. inspiring. and motivating. and comforting.
Because it's reassuring to know I'm not completely crazy and other women have the same thought, fears, insecurities that I do.
I'm answering in two parts. First, why I love to read female narratives? Because history lacks female narratives. Lacks, as in, has completely erased women at all. One of the best things about the Internet is that it's provided women with a place to tell their stories, untouched by male publisher voices.
Why do I love to read YOUR narrative? Well, I'm old, old, old and single and childless, yet you write in a way that is universal. And your ideas about life and faith in general jive with my own approaches, so I love reading validating opinions.
Honestly, I often feel like I have nothing in common with most (sometimes all) of the women in my life. But then I read a blog here, a book there, that makes me laugh and gives me a glimpse of the common threads that bind us women together. That's why I love to read female narratives. They make me feel like I'm a part of a big crazy sisterhood, something I often feel is lost nowadays.
I love reading female narratives because women's work and experiences aren't typically the subject of most print/film/history, etc.; and because I'm a woman and it makes feel less alone in my experience. I love that nothing I feel isn't felt by thousands of other women. I also love how reading about women with really different feelings or experiences helps me reflect on my life and the meaning of life more generally.
I love it because sometimes I think I'm so alone in the way I think, act, etc. and then I see that someone else does the same things and it makes me feel connected.
I also love it because sometimes I learn so much. I like to read about people's values and ideas, especially when they differ from my own, because I feel like it gives me an deeper appreciation and understanding of others.
I love reading things by women because since the lives of regular people - especially women - aren't usually newsworthy, without these narratives real life gets lost. We'd only be bombarded with political news, celebrities, etc and forget that there are other people out there struggling to raise happy children, or to figure out work/life balance, or any of the million other interesting things that women have to share with each other. I have loved so many of your insights and am continually thankful that I'm a stay at home mom in an age when we have the internet to connect and make something that could feel lonely really feel bigger and more important than that which is occurring within the walls of our home. Please keep it up, I love what you write!
I feel like men often wonder why women need deep friendships. Why they care about or invest much thought in the going ons of someone's life who isn't even related to them as if only being bound by blood or law gives validity to relationships.
So when a women becomes attached, concerned or moved by the thoughts or experiences of a stranger...men can't relate much. Women have an inborn desire to teach and be taught, to share and receive. We want to make ourselves and our worlds better and we've found the secret to making it happen; others.
Listening to and learning from others experiences helps us think, grow and prepare. Our minds and hearts are expanded and we're made more compassionate.
It was because of a female writer that I was inspired to undertake an 18-month travel challenge (including visiting you in St George)and write a book about my experiences. We never met but she had a profound affect on my being.
She died last month and I cried for how grateful I was that she shared her story, her example with anyone who was interested. I'm sorry I never met her and that in this life she'll never know how she inspired me.
Something my husband would never understand. :)
I like women's narratives because they remind me that there are many ways to be a woman, and that there my experience is shared, linked to, and different from other women in a meaningful way. It makes me feel more connected.
I love reading women's narratives because I get a sense of comradery (spelling?) and kinship. Women who share honestly are really just sharing what is going on inside of each of us, and most of us aren't willing to let it out. We feel shame, self-conscious, sadness, etc and we make ourselves wrong for it. When someone else is willing to put their experience out there for me to read, it frees up my soul to feel without the grief that I attach to it. Thank you for that, C.Jane
Hello C. Jane! I hope you have a lovely break.
I love to read female narratives because they help me understand myself. And also because they provide mentors, for me, in a way. Because I can see the examples of how other women dealt with difficult situations, I feel like I too can know how to deal with difficult situations. Being the oldest child in a family with a complicated parental situation, it's nice to have the example of strong, amazing women to follow after.
I like to read female narratives because I get stuck in my own head a lot. And then I second and third guess myself and then I assure myself I am ca-razy! When I read what other women think and feel, I know I am not alone even though my journey is distinct.
I live vicariously through other women's stories. So while I do love my life . . .of a fashion . . . I live dangerously (risk being happy) in others' writing. I can try out activites that I would never do in real life, mostly because they require putting myself in social situations which might otherwise overwhelm me. But it looks/sounds so fun when others do it, that sometimes . . . just seeing them/hearing about them gives me courage enough to try.
I think about you on a daily basis. I love reading "REAL" blogs like yours that aren't frills and fake women attempting to display perfection. You and I don't share a point of view on every single topic you write about, however, I love to read about other's POV's as well as insight into situations.
I LOVE your posts about body image specifically. I've struggled with infertility, and body image for years and after gaining 70 lbs between my pregnancy and post-partum depression, I see your glorious smile and bright spirit in my mind each day and it reminds me to let my spirit shine forth. My body doesn't need to define my worth... my smile, my spirit, and my joy for living life and loving motherhood is what brings us worth. And YOU"RE a great example of that worth.
I really really really enjoy reading your narrative. Please don't stop.
Exactly what M Lindsay said above
I don't know that I would say I love female narrative. Rather, I need - crave even - genuine female narrative. Female narrative is, by and large, like a glossy Cosmopolitan cover - all airbrushed and perfect, leaving one feeling decidedly ugly and inferior. Genuine woman's narrative on the other hand is very, very rare (tautology I know) and leaves one feeling normal, light in spirit actually. Females generally don't enjoy the camaraderie that men do. We don't stick up for one another. Woe betide we admit that we are not having sex x number of times a week, or that our spouses are not bending over backwards to meet our every desire, or or or...
I can actually do without woman's narrative.
Genuine woman's narrative.... that's another story. That has the potential to change lives.
I enjoy reading the blogs of women that are open, honest and not afraid to put themselves out there.
Women that are real, warts and all. Women that I can relate to learn from and enjoy.
Like You.
I will miss you! I look forward to reading your daily blogs. I love your blog--I love hearing the truth about life, the truth about your life. I love reading your thoughts and opinions and activity narratives. I'm a person who says what I think, and I love the way your mind and heart and soul and writing work!
for the same reasons everyone else has said...and that sometimes you hit on something (the LDS part especially) that makes me rethink why i do something or puts in to words what i think about something. Keep it up! I think lots of us feel that we aren't "gotten" sometimes - it's just you are out there for more people not to get/to want to get at you:)
Let me just begin by forewarning you....I'm a high school graduate....but I was married at 16...so my college education ie: English language, verbal and written skills....are seriously lacking. Having said that....Reading narratives about other women remind me that I have lots of people on my "team". As a team we may differ in some of our "playbooks" but our goals/end game are frequently the same. I LOVE hearing how others view situations. And...right or wrong, when I happen to agree with their views it brings me peace and yet when I don't agree with their views I always find something to learn or something that enlightens my thinking....disagreements can give me a way to view an opinion in a way I maybe hadn't thought of before. I write a very small blog.....basically just for my extended family and for my son (who is serving a mission) to be able to read and "catch up" with what was happening at home the two years he was away. I think I have about 40 readers, and yet many of them have told me how I have offended them by something I have written. I never intended to give offense, and yet offend I did. Its confusing, but also hurtful. And I only have 40 readers! You have readers world wide so I can only imagine how things must feel for you at times. I hope you can get your mojo back and know that so many people appreciate the things you say and do. We're just not as loud as those that may disagree with you.
I love reading female narratives because I get to see how other women handle the stress of our responsibilities and innate capacities. They also captivate me into thinking deeply and differently about what being female is.
if, for nothing else, you enjoy doing it- do it.
its just a plus that thousands of other women find reading your blog like talking to their bff over lunch.
i have adored your writing for years, and i saw you in provo once and almost approached you like we were buddies, then realized you have no idea who I am, so I retreated :)
I love reading the stories of others simply because I cannot experience everything in my one life, and your experiences add a new richness to my mind.
Interesting question. I wouldn't say I do like reading female narratives in general. I like to read things that make me a better person. Your life is captivating to me because you have a sense of confidence in who you are. Confidant, yet insecure. Real. You live life a step above my life. You rub shoulders with the mayor and host big parties and take monthly headshots and write a newspaper column. You analyze and plan and consult with Lucy about your wardrobe. You birth babies and then host thanksgiving dinner the next day. You are like me and very different from me. As I read, I like you and I like myselfgloss. People in general are so interesting to a people watcher like me. I suppose that is why I smile when I see how big ever is and sometimes wish I had an older sister like Paige. Carry on friend!
Hi C. Jane,
On the surface our lives are so different: I live in Australia, work full time for the government, am a non-believer and have no kids. But for whatever reason, kismet and the magic of the internet led me to you and I adore the stories of Provo, Chris, your kids and your inner life. I feel a strong sense of kinship to you and I get excited when you share your good news and ride the emotional rollercoaster of your crises.
I love that you share so much with us, and that you show me everyday that whatever someone is on the surface, there is so much more going on below.
Love, Melissa :)
I love reading your woman narratives because you help me see the good side of life. Not everybody is the cookie-cutter Mormon, Daughter of God. We are all individual and loved. YOU, C.Jane, have helped me realize that. I love to read your blog because it gives me, a single LDS girl, HOPE. You help me see the witty, fun, whimsical, magical side of life, and I LOVE YOU for that! I idolize you and your view on life, love and the Lord. Keep your chin up. You have helped me, BEYOND measure since I have been reading. Thank YOU for being an inspired writer who speaks to me through your words. Many of my prayers have been answered through you and your words, thoughts and ideas. I cannot thank you enough for your comfort and hope you give to me. AND most of all, you introduced me to muumuus (and when you commented on my blog I called everyone I know and told them). Keep your chin up.
because it gives those who read it hope. :)
Some days I feel too worn to hear my own voice. Often unconsciously, I begin to shut the trap door on that place where the "interior liquid motion" is found ("Joyas Voladoras" Brian Doyle). When that door begins to swing shut, and I begin to go numb, voices like yours reach that place and give me the courage and strength to feel. Female narratives give me the comfort of feeling reached and the wisdom to rejoice in my own womanhood. Then I can begin again to hear my own voice and the voice of God.
Hi, I come to see your blog and what you have written every day - I never usually comment but thought today that I would.
I love your blog - you always have a positive outlook and seem to enjoy your life to the full.
I will miss it when you haven't posted.
Also I would love to be able to come to one of your concerts but it is quite a long way from Scotland.
I look forward to your return. :))
Why do I love them? I can relate on all levels, and then sometimes when I read about someone, I relate on no level and it gives me a new appreciation, love, insight, and point of view I would have never had. I love the way you put your thoughts together, CJane. Keep it up.
Hello,
I never tire of reading of the good stuff - whether it be your observation or the sharing of personal struggles. And I never tire of reading your writings - serious and fun. I check your blog every day - laugh of cry with your posts, find joy in your photos, miss you when you are not there and thank you for sharing. Good luck with your projects - do not give up hope. Wishing you a happy rest of the month!
Hugs,
Barbara Diane
"Female narratives give me the comfort of feeling reached and the wisdom to rejoice in my own womanhood. Then I can begin again to hear my own voice and the voice of God."
These comments are beautiful and inspiring. Thank you.
Female narratives give me hope that I am not alone in the world. That my crazy feelings or regular ideas are just part of life and that no one is perfect. It brings perspective... which everyone can use a little of. Your posts in particular are thought provoking and sometimes just bring a simple joy to the day.
I love reading HONEST female narratives. The ones that make you feel like you are not the only one who doesn't know what she is doing 100% of the time, or even 50% for that matter. Warts and all. I also love reading about women who have different perspectives - they make me think. You do this, Andrea at Superhero journal does this, Reagan too.
I hope you keeping writing, CJane, you are really really good ad I'm pretty fussy about who I spend my precious free time reading!
(I do have a problem with blogs that try to present life a one big happy party, they actually are depressing.) XO Susan
Novels and fictional stories are nice but female narratives and biographies are what I really want and need to read. Nothing is more intriguing, shocking, heartwarming, inspiring or compelling as the truth of someone's life experience.
xo
Novels and stories are nice but what I really want and need are biographies and the female narrative. Nothing is more compelling, shocking, intriguing, heartwarming or inspiring as the truth of one's life experience.
xo
because I am a woman and it feels good to relate
I read female narratives because I need people to relate to. I need to know that I am human and that other women and mothers are too. Right after you wrote about your vacation being a time for renewal for you I went on vacation myself. I felt the same way. It renewed my spirit and I felt changed. Just from soaking in the beauty around me and enjoying my husband and son. Though I didn't run around naked ;)
Oh gee. Where to start. I'm not a commenter - how about there? BUT, when you asked why female narratives I just had to. I'm studying Anne Sexton right now. Her poetry is enough to - well shudder. But aside from that - females have complicated hearts. Trying to communicate this makes a story that encourages us to be understood - to understand - I have great "text book" answers, but really it can be summed up with this: "we tell ourselves stories in order to live" - Joan Dideon
I don't trust read *any* female narratives. Really, yours is the only one I really care about. I've never met you, but I wish I could meet you. I appreciate your wit, your thoughts, and that you can spell, unlike so many other mommy bloggers! Well done. If you stopped blogging, I would have a void, wondering what CJane is up to. Is that weird? When I see that you've updated your blog, I get VERY excited... makes my whole day better. I especially LOVE your vlogs. Please introduce and interview more people from your family. What a GREAT extended family you have... it's all quite intriguing. So keep on keepin on CJane.
Another thought: have Chup moderate your comments (deleting the meanies). There is no sense being brought down by those nasties like Smidely or whatever her name was. And remember, some people (like Smidely) are mentally ill, sick, or whatever else and really have no validity to their opinions anyway.
female narratives are so important. huge lovely bonds encircle all of us, no matter where or how we are. reading about each other is a delicious and essential treat and your voice is strong. thank you for sharing yourself in such a lovely way with all of us readers out here. I look forward to your female narrative every time I sit down in front of my computer.
such loveliness abounds in female narrative, especially yours. thank you for sharing yourself so wonderfully with all of us out here!
I love reading narratives because they are authentic. I'm so tired of the filter of mass media and the commercialization of information. I especially like reading women's narratives because so much of history (even modern history) is filtered or retold by men, yet so much of day to day living is managed by women. It's so refreshing to read real stories about real life told by real people.
C. Jane, you are a real woman who is not afraid to express her thoughts...and you are hilarious. I don't want this to sound "stalkerish", but you are someone that would be a cherished friend. I'm sure most of your readers feel that way. I would really miss you! :(
Because I know I'm not alone in my experience. To help me gain perspective, strength, and meaning in trial. To learn more than I could with just my own experience. Keep writing! It means so much!
Inspiration, to learn and understand, to widen world view, to feel a connection amongst our gender, to piece together a loving, wise and strong world view of women I never got from Mother. To feel less alone. To learn vicariously through others about motherhood. All these things serve to empower me with my own self belief. Love you long time, SKU x
P.S. Am taking a maybe permanent break from fb.
I love reading female narratives because I want to connect with other women through shared experiences. I want to know that we all have something in common somewhere down the line. It's fun reading someone else's take on a similar experience that I have had and yet where I saw it as a negative experience, they were able to find the humor and the other side of it. I just love knowing that each one of us sees the world through different colored glasses because we were each raised with such different backgrounds and experiences. That's why I come to blogs like yours: it helps me see the world through other's glasses and whether I agree or not, it opens up my heart a little bit more.
I like to read such things because they help me to understand myself better. They reinforce for me that I am a good person and that just how I am is just fine. We all have things to improve on, but I like to read how women conquer their fears and overcome, building on the good that they already were.
There is no crying in blogging. Just write.
First, let's be honest. We are our own worst enemy. If I had to choose between working with 10 males and 10 females? I'd choose the males, hands down.
We are so quick to judge other females and tend to use them to find the "good" in ourselves. I'd like to think all this is human nature. Eve. That chick had to choose between a man and a snake. Not much of a choice, eh?
My husband makes fun of me because I read so many different blogs. I really thought about it and while I certainly don't believe everything I read, it does afford me a glimpse into other lifestyles. That may mean geographical, talent, values, religion...you name it. It is a cool way to educate my 47 year old self. A way to stay in the loop. A way to open my mind and consider other points of view.
I've connected with so many other families who have also adopted from China and that has afforded us an online "community" that understands the process, the wait, and the absolute joy.
Lurking in the background are people (usually women) just waiting to criticize or shoot someone down. I have become a "drive-by lurker." If I find a blog I enjoy, I stay long enough to gleen what I can, then move along before someone comes along and ruins it.
No one is perfect and it appears that there is at least 40 women waiting in the wings of your blog to point that out.
I am having a hard time expressing my thoughts about this write now, but I love reading your story. I love your honesty with some of the challenges you've faced and the joy you find in your marriage and family. I hope you will continue to tell your story.
I enjoy reading others ups and downs, joys, failures and triumphs as it bonds us all on this journey of life. I hope your break brings you the vim and vigor you need to get back at your blog writing so we can all peek into your world and enjoy life along side you though from afar but as if you're one of our close friends. Best of luck to you as you refresh and thanks for sharing so much with we your followers :)
I like to read your blog for the same reason I like to read Dave Barry. You make me smile and laugh, and your upbeat perspective on life gives me an emotional boost. Thanks for writing Cjane!
Reading other female's narratives give me comfort in knowing that I am not the only woman/Mom/wife/friend that doubts herself, struggles with insecurities, sacrafices herself without a 2nd thought, leads a crazy busy life and loves her family & God more than herself! I can read a female's narrative and truly laugh or cry because I understand and feel those similar thoughts...
Oops, I thought you meant in general. I like reading you CJK, plainly and simply because you're you. Yup.
I just love reading good writing, I don't prefer one gender over another, just good writing.
When my children were small and I was a young mother, I loved to read, but didn't have the time to delve into long novels. So, I would buy magazines. I loved to read about parenting tips, design helps, and basically things that entertained me and made me think. I liked to "step outside of my box" for a little bit each day. Magazines are being fazed out, so I have turned to blogs - which are free for me :) - I am entertained by reading yours, you make me think about things a little deeper, plus you make me laugh. With magazines I was at the mercy of the particular style of the authors, with blogs, I can pick and choose whom I wish to read, and I choose yours! Thank you so much for all of the enjoyable moments you've given me. My advice to you would be not to worry about giving us profound posts, just give us a little bit 'o the cjane insight and fun antics! Thank you thank you!!
I check in on your blog regularly. I would miss you terribly if you didn't blog anymore. I am endlessly fascinated by how others live their lives. We are all so differnt and yet sometimes so much the same. Take care of yourself and I will "see" you in August.
I love them because every time I read a GOOD one, I find a little piece of my own heart..... and some delicious hope that I am not alone.
Female narratives remind me that I'm always in good company.
I love female narratives because I can relate, because they inspire me and give me hope. Nothing is more inspiring than a strong woman. For men and women alike.
I love reading women's narratives for two reasons.
First, because I love reading the different ways women write. I read several blogs by women who are so incredibly talented. I am amazed daily by their (and your) way of expressing themselves. The way they weave their stories with such color and clarity inspires me as a writer.
Second, other women's experiences teach and uplift me. Learning what they are challenged with and how they meet those challenges helps me even when our lives are very different.
Third, women need women. Tho our circumstances vary, we all have that in common. Sharing our stories enriches our lives. It gives us hope in that moment when we read, nod our heads, and say, "Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean. I'm so glad I'm not the only one."
Don't be discouraged. That's just the nasty old adversary. He hates us women because we are what he will never be. Creators.
Keep creating, Courtney.
I could give you a lot of reasons why--because it's neat to read about people who are different, because it's neat to read about places that are different, because it's neat to read about experiences that are different.
Really, it's just nice to know that other women are the same. It's nice to see the words that have been in your head for so long come from somebody else's pen too. It's nice to sense honesty. For me, I think it's about building some kind of greater sisterhood that sometimes feels absent.
I read your blog because you put into words the feelings, intuititions, hurts, and triumphs that I feel everyday but that I don't have the skill (or inclination) to write about. I believe we of the XX chromosomes are all so much more the alike than we are different. I am enlightened and better able to know and understand myself because I read your blog. Thank you!
You write the things that I think. The hard times, the fun times, the quiet times. What a lot of us are experiencing and maybe are to shy to share outside of our close circles. I appreciate it and strive to do the same. You're honest and I like that about you.
"there is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.”
[zora neale hurston]
cjane, i have a feeling you've got a few more untold stories in that noggin of yours. thank you in advance for sharing them.
I love your writing because you show us something tha doesn't always fit into a neat, per-determined story. It gives me courage to live my life.
I wanted to add that you might enjoy Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. It's not a Mormon story, but there's something in there that speaks to a woman's heart.
Rock on, C. Japanese. Rock on.
My iPad corrects me in crazy ways-- C. Jane, I meant. Obviously, I hope.w
I'm not the type to comment. This is a first. I feel like I owe you so much. I have grown so much from reading about you. You have inspired and helped me in ways that I don't feel could have happened without your willingness to share. Thank you for your honesty, and strength. I admire you, and your stories have made me a happier, better woman. From the age of 19 I have had an eating disorder, and I have been sick for many years. My breakthrough in this journey was your blog. I have never in all my life loved myself more than I do today. I honestly didn't think I could ever be so happy, and like myself so much. I don't think I could have done it without your words. I wish I found you sooner. It makes me sad to think about all those sick years that I wasted being so unhappy. Thank you so much and please keep it up. I need it and I'm sure there are many more anonymous readers out there with similar stories.
reading your blog and blogs like it with such a strong female voice, have helped me see the world differently and see myself in that world. They cause me to think, to question, and to care. By getting lost in your words, I have begun to find some of mine.
You will never know what some of your thoughts have changed all of us who are lucky enough to read them.
any stuff from you makes me want to be a better mom, woman, wife! I am inspired and comforted. Please keep writing!!
I like the writing of other women, particularly those that are involved with the day-to-day care of their children because it helps me realize that my struggles and worries and thoughts are shared by others. I like eto know that I am not alone, and that the path I trod is well worn.
Not sure why I love reading female narratives, but it fills me up! Please don't stop writing! I love coming here to read about it all. Keep telling your readers about your day!
I believe the idea of womanhood is not cut and dry, there are a million different definitions of it. By reading female narratives I've had the chance to figure out who I want to be as a woman and what I want to be known as. I love hearing all different (honest) opinions of women and how they see their lives.
Oh C Jane I will miss you terribly, and I mean this sincerely. I lookf orward to your return in August. In terms of female narratives and my love of them, and you, and this blog well, its hard to describe really. Your writing is so natural and thoughtful and thought provoking yet it isn't academic and boastful which makes it really accessible to any woman. I read here for inspiration, sometimes for comfort, sometimes to feel a connection to someone halfway across the globe. Your hillarity, your down-to-earth approach, your agile mind and your mothers heart make for very fulfilling reading. Yes, I am obsessed with you.
Hello!
I just want to say that I love reading your thoughts and have been mesmerized by all you write. I wonder, since you are so amazing and writing such breathtaking narratives, is there tons of pressure to write life altering stop the bus ones every time? That seems like lots of pressure,I think you write that way more often than any other blogger, but I also love your simple posts of space and love and life- do you know what I mean? I guess I just want to say you are great and every post is too. Blah this isn't coming out how I hoped! Sounds a bit like the words are from a tin, but they are true nonetheless. Thank you for your work. Thank you thank you. Xoxoxoxoxo
Like everyone else has said, I read female narrative to validate my own story, to place my own story in the context of the larger female narrative, and to know that my story is unique but at the same time it's not. It's everyone's story and everyone's story is mine. We're all in this together.
Thank you for sharing yours.
trusting female intuition versus the need to be polite is always a topic that draws a lot of interest.
Or how about what makes women funny and how wrong others are when they say women aren't funny (in the news recently via Adam Corolla).
Good luck on your writing project!
It's nice to not feel alone. Nice to feel validated, that someone else is just as silly/hormonal/crazy as you are, and oh look! They handled it this way! I'll try that next time.
because motherhood is isolating at times, and you can sometimes feel like you are the ONLY one going through what you're going through...
that and I never get to eat out so your posts and pics about places you've gone to eat scratch my itch :)
CS Lewis said, "we read to know we are not alone." That is why I read blogs like yours and your sisters and a bunch of others. It is so I do not feel alone in this journey. Also, I can't say the number of times I have felt enlightened by something you said, or even just curious about something you wrote, and wished we could sit down in your gold living room, with our 6 (total) children playing at our feet and discuss them in detail.
Ok, I am going to write this from my heart and I will simply type my thoughts about the question you presented.
I like reading your post because you present an idea or opinion or simply a thought that is new to me or maybe I had once thought it up but abandoned it. The reason I forget about it is lack of guts! You have guts Cjane! You share these thoughts and present them in great writing. I may not agree with every single one of them but that doesn't matter. That is what makes us all individuals. Your writing brings us together and makes us search within ourselves.
I have noticed that lately there are a number of naysayers and really harsh opinions that break my heart. I can't imagine being the recipient of such negative energy. I wish it wasn't so but that is why I admire your guts! You are awesome and I hope that you do what is best for you. Always know that your writings (which I know come from your heart and soul), have inspired me. So thank you!
Amen C.Jane! :)
I read, I listen, and I am a Mommy fighting for my normal life back from round two of cancer and you and your awesome normal, fun I get you world that helps me on my rough days!!! :)
Thanks,
Michelle
I'm going to put it a different way. I have learnt from the precious archives :) that a writer, writes. And it gets better every time. I have traditions now. At birthdays there is always a tiara (Stephanie, Ruth) , even for Nana, turning 80 at high tea. Children come when they (we) are ready (Courtney, Heather Spohr) nd *how* they are ready- (breakin' it down with Pipsey Jane ... (Reagan, Tanis.) If I have even one, I can achieve peace inside (Paige Clark and Vance's last name.) That, oh My God, the strength, the perseverance (Stephanie, Reagan, H. Spohr, Heather Beth Johnson-McCormick,Jenny that even if your knee-jerk reaction is jerkish, At the moments most heightened, if you love him, you deal (Carina) Heartbreak (Heather Spohr, Reagan, Tanis, Comments i.e all of us.) Self- belief (CJK, Jenny.) Hope (all of US.) I could go on and Awn... But my favourite and has always Been my favourite is Courtney Jane Kendrick ( Mormon ?! What the? Xxxx
I love women, and I am proud to be one! Recently I am loving more female authors, musicians, everything. (Fiona Apple's new CD is amazing, BTW) There is just something about women that most men can't capture, even in some of the best writing.
I love the way you write when you really write. While we don't agree on everything, or even most things, I value different opinions and the way you express them, and we will always agree on women's bodies. Keep on going if you can!
Also, I went to the Portland Temple's new visitor's center and watched a movie with my kids. And the dad looked familiar... it was Chup! I couldn't pay attention anymore after that :) Made me laugh.
Reading female narratives makes me feel less lonely in my own skin.
I don't know if that even made sense...I guess I know what I meant ;)
I love reading honest, reflective female narratives because they help unravel the complex tangle of womanhood. It's easier, for me, to write and read the words that express deep, confusing emotions than it is to speak them aloud. I think you are especially gifted at conveying those feelings with bravery and tenderness.
Because it's real. Well if you're true to yourself and an honest writer. Because it isn't Hollywood or some picture-perfect fairytell. With you, it's real...and great. We need more real. We need real issues...that no one wants to address but everyone thinks about. We need fierce writers to remind us that we don't need that picture perfect life. That that picture perfect life in all reality is phony...just like the people trying to portray it. Stay true to you. People will ALWAYS critisize something...even when we are ALL just trying our very best. Don't give up this amazing gift! Write. Write. Write.
I just come for the free popcorn.
Speaking crudely, football and sport are ‘important’; the worship of fashion, the buying of clothes ‘trivial’. And these values are inevitably transferred from life to fiction. This is an important book, the critic assumes, because it deals with war. This is an insignificant book because it deals with the feelings of women in a drawing-room. A scene in a battle-field is more important than a scene in a shop — everywhere and much more subtly the difference of value persists.
-Virginia Woolf
We need to change this. That's why.
I personally truly enjoy reading about the day-to-day lives of hard-working moms because, well, I strive to be one! I love reading about the mishaps and messes - and knowing I'm not alone; I enjoy looking at the moments captured on (digital) film and hearing about the writer's fears and worries. It takes a special person to write about life in a way that most people will relate to, but also enjoy reading.
well, really we just like to see cute pictures of your kids, dishes in the sink and pictures of everyday. This reminds us that there are other places than where we are and there are other people besides "me". Most of us don't need or want deep theories (mostly because we have more than enough of our own) we just want to see what other people are doing. so don't stress yourself out or feel like you need to be something extraordinary... because everyones ordinary is always interesting to other people who's ordinary is something else. whew?!
I feel less alone, less freakish in the world. It is so good to read about the struggles and successes and ponderings of other women. It gives me hope to keep trying. To be happy with who I am. But to keep trying to be better. And, once in a while, I'll stumble across a woman who is so much like me--she thinks and reasons like me and our personalities are similar and I'm amazed that there is another "me" out there--except she is even smarter and stronger and prettier and more disciplined and just more than I am. But even that gives me hope. And really, sharing our stories helps us to laugh. And who doesn't need more laughter in their life??? Enjoy the break. Everyone needs those, too :>)
I love finding common ground with other women. Deep down inside I believe that we (the universal "we") are not all that different from one another. Reading narratives lessens the loneliness, as brave women peel back the layers to reveal themselves we are all collectively revealed. We can free ourselves of the burdens and expectations of what we should be in favor of revealing who we really are and who we really can be.
Because what you do matters. And when you do something that honestly matters...we know there will be opposition. The stronger you are...the stronger the darkness will come at you. I am so thankful that you write this blog...you have opened up things inside of me...very good things ;)
I LOVE reading your writing! It makes me laugh, it makes me think, it makes me feel. I am not so good with words, but the words of others inspire me. You are full of spunk and wit and honesty. I come here to be entertained. And on occasion, I get more and feel uplifted and gain new perspective. Love me a good dose of CJane every day! (or every week, whenever you have the time ....)
did you write your book yet? I have been disconnected for quite some time.
While I believed with all my heart, that women are our own worse enemy, I do believe that we in the same vain attempt to help our sisters kick their lives up a knotch. See that's why I have fired all my "in person" girlfrinds. There was just too much backstabbing and outdoing, and copying, and you're doing what? Well OURS is a gazillion times better! Ugh. I have fired my girlfriends. Except a very few who we devised a plan to secretely nominate potential members, and without even knowing it, these newbiew were "interviewed" for a period of six months. Lots can happen to any of us in six months. The invited inteendees never asked question or made suggestions, because we because they were pretty much confused what was happening during these six months. If was life happening. What could be trust to love our babies as much as we do, and if children were left in their care, many HOLY ARTISTIC ladies banded together and made the best of everything.
Our families were some imagies of each other and never an argument could be heard. We thought we found the perfect group. We all lived on the same street and could easily be found riding bikes with the kids through the sprinklers with "Schools out for summer" playing on the stereo. As our children grew up, no one dared move away. Our oldest were about to graduate high school and us mom's planned a party to make even Paula Deen jealous. We closed down the street, hired a band, catered food, and spent those 4 hours celebrating all our children and us moms were secretely crying in their hearts, their first-born would soon be flying away.Every year we lived this life on this cul-de-sac and very few people attempted to break through the glass that surrounded Chatterton Circle. By the time our last party ccame around, we did everything up BIG! We made sure all our other children would be in attendance. Towards the end of the party,thee was a slide show of all those years. At the end, we all gathered for a photo. The end of an error. Until, unbeknownst to the momas, boys were handing with dads and girls were gathered on the fron porch looking at magazines. When we mamas made it down to the yeard, one at a time, each couple stood, and the yound man asking for her father's hand in marriage! This happened 7 more times, one after another and we were so incredibly and speechless.
Ten years later, we have babies running around, a nother marriage to plan and we couldn't be more happy. Things like this are very rare, and you much find similar friends...but to have your children marry each other? We had absolutely nothing to do with that except show them from a young age what families are, how we are to treat each other. Now we will retirement settling in and am looking at a place all the people in the family would like. We enjoy the beach and the mountains...so we'll split our time and watch what happenes to the generations yet to come.
CJane-
Everyone loves female narratives. You are an excellent writer. Just write what you know. You are so unique and quirky you just need to capture that essence and stuff it into a book format. For inspiration my suggestion is to read or re-read I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith, female narrator with a completely unique and adorably quirky story.
Somedays reading another woman's voice is all I need to keep my sanity. Whether it's her everyday moments she is is writing about, or those awful moments of her day, I love reading something real. I dislike all the too happy, too fake bloggers out there, and I tend to shy away from reading those. I like knowing I'm not alone in dealing with crazy kids, or self doubt, and that others are having moments that might mean nothing to someone else but mean the world to them (like my 4 year old finally deciding he is ready to be potty trained)!
I enjoy reading other's thoughts that in turn make me question mine, and grow more as an individual and daughter of Heavenly Father. I think that's why your blog speaks to so many people. You are real, and have been all along. You even call yourself out on things sometimes, and that shows a willingness to grow and learn that I admire. Thanks for sharing yourself so openly with us as readers. It's through your words and other women blogger's that I have in turn found more of myself. I can't tell you how much that means, because as a stay-at-home mother you sometimes feel as if your children define you and you forget who you truly are!
I miss you!--that is all....
Hello!
Just wanted to say hello. I hope that your time with your family is giving you a renewal of spirit and that you will soon be feeling like writing again! I know that you are gone for the rest of the month but I still keep checking most days. Silly, but I miss your posts! Wishing you a happy day!
Hugs,
Barbara Diane
The thing is, if we don't tell our own stories then others will do it for us. This is the history of history.
sonja
It depends on the female voice. LDS is obviously really important to you, which is fine, but as a non LDS woman, it gets boring/preachy/repetitive to me. I can really only take most blogs with a one central theme (e.g. religion, children, career, study, food) in small doses. I think maybe it comes down to the fact that no one person (myself included!) is so fascinating that I feel the need to read about their lives every second or third day. Your retrospective on your life have been the best posts I've personally read from you in a long time. That isn't about the quality of your writing or your story. It's just what's of interest to me and that's the same issue for blogs everywhere.
I'm glad your taking a break, I'm sure its a must needed time. I love reading blogs from women, mommies, realness ... its encouraging, hopeful, funny and I love the honesty in your posts. You truly make me laugh out loud on so many occasions. Times, I've really just needed to read realness, when I myself is tired and worn down from the daily wonderful mommy duties. You are so loved, hoping a match will light and inspire you in what you feel your lacking. Sending you lots of prayers of renewal and just overwhelming love, xo Christine
Your question about why female narratives matter and why we like to read them is very relevant to me. I look back over my life and it's clear that all my favorite songs, books, poems, movies, etc. have been lady-focused. And since you asked this question so many weeks ago, I've been wondering what made me this way.
My current answer: I enjoy and crave and appreciate women's narratives because something deep in the guts tells me that being a woman is a big deal. Something tells me that there is an enormous answer to an enormous question about womanhood. Something tells me that walking around with this female body, these symmetrical chromosomes, this girly mind, these womanly emotions -- these things are hugely important. And I'm spending parts of every day figuring out WHY they're hugely important. I'm trying to learn what eternal truths are underneath gender and sex. I'm searching for an answer, an answer that my woman's intuition believes in and yearns for.
Perhaps this habit of loving women's narratives comes from the fact that women's words give me clues to that answer. I read Emily Dickinson, or Audre Lorde, or bell hooks, or Carol Lynn Pearson, or you, and I find these nuggets of clues to whatever the hell that answer is. My heart perks up and I can continue with some hope.
I need women's narratives because I can't find the answer alone, and that's because (I'm pretty sure) the answer is in the sisterhood, in the togetherness, in the combined wisdom of women.
So do you, sister. Do. You. =) I really love what your words have added to my life over the past few years. Please bless that we can be real-life friends someday.
I am curious what you mean about starting to lose hope. Lose hope in women or lose hope in your blog? Really, I'm curious what you mean. I enjoy reading narratives that come from the heart and aren't written to try to impress the audience or gather readers (we can tell the difference). Maybe when a person "tries" to write a good narrative it just simply falls short of just writing what's in the heart. I'm not exactly sure where you fall in...but I guess my only advice would be to not lose hope in either women OR your blog...just write and let it be what it is and that is absolutely enough.
Today's the day you come back to us, right?
Or maybe today? Enjoyed the comments you generated with this post! You go girl!
Got my Hymn Revivals. Got my divine Sarah Sample. But gee kiddo, my favourite is words and I miss you xxxxx SKU-W
i found you're blog by "accident", but I really believe Heavenly Father was trying to show me I'm not alone in this crazy journey of being a woman and a mother. You have captivated me in your stories and I feel I should thank you for being so open and honest. I don't know you and I doubt we'll ever meet in this mortal world but you are truly an inspiration. Keep on blogging.
We got that CD and our favorite ones are, I saw the Light, Calling You, and Go Down Moses.
I just want to say I miss you. Not that I want you to feel pressured in coming back before you're ready, but I thought you might want to know that someone (and probably many hundreds and thousands of someones) miss your thoughts and insights. For my part, I feel like so many things in your life parallel mine and your ability to verbalize your perspective and lessons you've learned has more than once brought me peace and a sound mind. I know you have a life and three little children who are your priority right now, but when you're ready, I'll be waiting.
Lately I have been into female faith narratives. I had read one book (doing research for work) and loved it, so I looked to see what else Amazon recommended for me, and it just opened the door to all kinds of fabulous perspectives. I sometimes feel that certain female authors' perspectives have an angry, bitter, men-are-the-enemy, anti-wife, anti-mother edge. As a devout Catholic, reading the perspectives of other Catholic women is empowering. I find my self saying "YES!" and "Me too!" at these stories of faith and triumph. I also like listening to smart women who can beautifully articulate the theology of my Church. When reading it, I say to myself "How could ANYONE possibly think this is demeaning? A depiction of woman as a fierce self-loving female AND faithful follower of Christ? I'M SOLD!" I also like reading it because it gets me to a place where I want to share it with other women. Reading the perspectives of other women of faith makes me feel like I've stumbled upon some secret embedded-into-my-soul knowledge that could destroy self-doubt and help me understand my worth, and I want every woman to know about it. For me, as long as strong Catholic women (or strong women of whatever your particular faith might be) are willing to talk, I'm willing to listen...and spread the word.
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