Today I was folding the girl's laundry while holding The Chief (newly acquired talent!) teasing him,
"You are a mama's boy! You are a mama's boy!"
Then I had to stop and think for a moment, because I couldn't remember if I really was the baby's mama or if he belonged to Stephanie too. I am not used to have my own.
And so it goes.
I am pretty sure that this is my blog, though so many media outlets have spelled it out wrong. They say that this blog was a continuation of Stephanie's blog. I think the truth is that this was my blog since May 2005. It was conceived a week after my brother birthed his blog, The Jolley Porter, and a couple days after a girl who called herself Gracie Brunswick (later changed to Nie Nie.) We had our own audiences, Nie and I, hers was more oriented in photography and motherhood, mine was an outlet for writing. Though I have continued to tell her story in my own way, I could never continue her blog. Can you imagine the pressure?
At least, that is how I remember it.
But the siblinghood in my family doesn't really do ownership anyway. We trade carpet cleaners, recipes and children alike. I have baby equipment from my sister-in-law Megan and Andrew's wood saw in our shed. We have Steph's SUV and Andrew has mine. Clothes spread around like a virus. I let someone borrow my favorite stretchy black dress and spotted it six months later on my sister-in-law Lindsay who was nine months pregnant. She handed it to the next pregnant female and truth-be-told, I never saw it again. But, come to think of it, I got it from Page in the first place. It came from some swank store in San Francisco.
But, I'm over it. See?
Perhaps my details are less clear because this process has taught me the value of charity. When you really care for someone you come to a point where all is yours, mine, ours. As in, what is yours to love, is mine to love, mine to love is yours to love. Love is the most important part.
Don't acquire anything unless you are willing to devote love. It is the Law of the Good Steward. I learned that the hard way when once I got a puppy that nearly estranged Chup to me. Don't get a puppy unless you really, really mean to get a puppy.
Am I preachy tonight?
But speaking of tonight . . . after the girls were whispering in bed, The Chief bundled in the bassinet and Chup playing some hyper video game downstairs, I disappeared to the grocery store. It may have been the first time that I have been completely alone in five months. I bought some cotton balls, sour cream and two new tweezers because madam, you can never have enough. But all the while I missed my home crew back at Retro House. I rushed myself home and may have forgotten some things on my list. I will have to pick out a fancy new toothbrush some other time. (My toothbrushes always have to be fancy. Too much info? Now you know.) I love the bodies that fill my home, and it was never so clear than in the diaper aisle tonight.
(Lucy feels the same way too. For the time being, that little tow-headed Gigs is hers to care for and he loves her fiercely back. He firmly believes--as pointed out in photos--that he has two mamas. How lucky can one guy get?)
I've told Christian--and I intend to tell Stephanie--that they have given us a gift. Time with their children who we love and have always loved. When they are ready, we'll tuck them back into their lives, where they belong. It should be soon, Jane prays "Please bless that my mommy will be able to be back with her family" every day.
And we know how prayers are answered around here.
Wanna see some more pictures of our blended family by the Wendy of Blue Lily?
Ok, click here.