Casting Pearl to the Swine


Try: Feeling Sorry for Myself.

In my formative years my mother cast me as Pitiful Pearl because of my insane ability to draw on the pathetic. It didn't take long for me to master the art of self-pity as a middle child. When I entered into my teens The Councilwoman shortened my nickname to Pearl (but the Pitiful was still implied.)

"Oh Pearl. What is wrong now?" Mother would ask pouring on the dramatics for sarcasm's sake.

By my mid-twenties I finally came to the enlightenment that lo! and behold! my life was pretty dang good. My dad bought me a gorgeous green Mx-6, I lived with fantastic roommates and my boyfriend called my chest "Good Christian Cleavage." So it was that I said good bye to that Resident Pitiful Pearl for what I thought was forever.

Only she came back in fine form yesterday and I was left to wander around my house feeling sorry for my soul.

I can't bend over.

I can't breathe.

I feel irritable.

I am sick of my clothes.

Chup is always out-of-town these days.

(Basically the opposite of my cheerful, Debt of Gratitude post, penned only days previous . . . how soon I forget.)

(Also, didn't I spend FIVE YEARS praying for this?)

And just when I felt as though wet droplets were going to descend from my tear ducts, a knock on the door sounded.

My nieces had come to visit! My Emily! My Harriet! My Lindsay! Who live only moments away from the Retro House.

In they came checking on all the latest developments. They liked the plates hanging in the kitchen. Oh what nice pink drapes! How did I make my kitchen smell like the ocean? Can we go to the nursery and help you organize The Chief's clothes?

To the nursery with the orange carpet! I sat in my rocking chair as Lindsay folded all of the little bitty clothes and put them in necessary drawers. Emily quizzed me on the French flash cards that Amanda brought for The Chief "It's never too early to start learning the language of love!" And Harriet rearranged all of the stuffed animals, testing each one for proper softness and talent (laughs, plays music . . . that sort of thing.)

Up went my spirits! Out went the presence of Pearl.

Thanks ladies, that was a close one.

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