Pale in Comparison

Me this past summer. Blond and tan. Curves intact.
Everything was so simple.

I have given up vanity. My body neither looks pregnant or curvy, just rectangular. My waist? A memory. And though it is none of your business, my chest is now at epic proportions. I know that in a month or so I will appear more pregnant and less like a growing gut. I can handle all this, this not a problem that needs to be solved.

However, I am painfully pale-faced. Somebody help me with my pale face. I've lifted my face to the sun everyday for weeks. I've tried self-tanners. Blush. Pinching my cheeks for blood flow. Nothing works. No acne. Just pale.

Then again, maybe I turn into a vampire when I am pregnant. Don't laugh, some women turn diabetic. It's called gestational diabetes. These things happen.

Then on third thought, perhaps I feel pale-faced but really it's because my hair color is wrong. I gave up on being blond this summer. I succumbed to brunette because I was on my fourth attempt at returning to "natural." My spirit tells me that I am a natural blond. It's my damn pocket book that pleads otherwise. Being a "natural" blond who isn't really a "natural blond" is so expensive.

I really don't have a pocket book. Shoot, I don't even know what one is.

That is it. I am going back blond.

Thanks for your help.


P.S. For future reference: how does one get regular hair color treatments when one has a nursing baby?