Friday, August 31, 2007

What I'm Watching

This week I nagged and nagged at Chup.

"You better git me my college football Chup." I demanded.

As of right now, we have what you'd call below-basic cable. I am fed the normal channels and then all the Kevin Trudeau sell-a-lot-of-crap channels and of course the ever-bloggable Travel Channel with whom I have an extended love/hate relationship (Bourdain/love, Samantha Brown/hate, rather, she causes me social anxiety watching her awkward countenance.)

But no where do I get to watch college football.
And I am thirty now, which entitles me some channel-choosing of my own. AND I WANT MY COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

It gets complicated because, see, Chup is all about research, and choices, and for an assignment such as up-grading cable he will have to call everyone he knows, read all viewable forums, google all that will be googled, and have lengthy talks with lonely/chatty operators of all major carriers.

Tonight was the kick-off of the Mountain West Conference
with the Utes, and instead of watching, I was packing for our trip to Idaho, while in the next room Chup was heard asking things like "can I get this
without an extended contract?" or "yes we are very interested in your hd package."

Soon my nagging turned to pouting
because, Chup had all week to complete this mission, and also because, in basic female behavior, nagging naturally turns into pouting if no solution is found (I have a Behavioral Science degree.) Here I was on national college football day without MY COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

I pouted while I clanged
the dinner dishes around the kitchen sink and into the dishwasher. I walked, several times, directly Chup's view with my shoulders heavily shrugged. I sighed and sighed and sighed and sighed then turned on the radio to see if I could get the game on AM. When no signal was picked up, I sighed some more.

And then I started to wonder, how it was that I happened to marry a man who cares only a fourth of a teaspoon about college football? Then I wondered if our marriage was a facade. Then I was
sure it was a hoax. Then I knew that Chup was really a Russian Spy (which . . . come to think of it . . .explains why he wants to name our first born Vladimir. And also why he always has a hankerin' for Vodka-battered sausage.)

Which is all fine and dandy, you know, AS LONG AS I GET MY COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

P.S. Good luck to my oldest, and badest, brother Coach Clark as the BYU Cougars take on the Arizona Wild Cats this Saturday!

P.P.S. Yes, that it is my other brother-- the Jolly Porter-- in the current BYU Magazine talking about Shakespeare and the smell of tater tots!

P.P.P.S. I applied to BYU 3 times and they NEVER accepted me, but look at me still support.

(WARNING! The words in blue are NOT links!)

P.P.P.P.S. Stay tuned as I will be reporting back on all of the sophistication that is the Twin Falls County Fair. I head there this weekend, and contrary to local gossipers, I'm not going back for the tater pigs (that one IS a link) --an Idaho custom where they drill holes into potatoes, stick in a pig part of some kind (I don't know) and deep fry.