All The Rage

What pregnant face?

Two social events that I don't attend as a personal decision: Showers and parties where people are trying to get me to buy stuff.

First off, I know that shower games are officially passé, but equally annoying to me is to sit there and watch people open presents and pretend to like them. Bo-ring. And when the gifts start to get passed around and I have to pretend to like them myself, well, I just don't have the time. Besides, I like to think of my friendships as beyond those sorts of unnecessary socialities.

Secondly, though I do like a good party, and equally like to spend the bullions, I don't like to mix and mingle the two. Though many-a-friend has tried to convince me otherwise, I still get suspicious when I get invited to their party-cum-product sale. Am I a friend or a customer? You decide. Also, I buy my jewelry at Target, and I personally like cleavage and crack, so your special jewelry or your modest t's aren't really my style.

But last week, because I love my Clark cousins, I went to both a bridal shower and a modest clothing party. The bridal shower had a "Small Kitchen Appliance" theme. What? Like am I supposed to buy a toaster? Anyway, I went with a really cute cake pedestal which I am whipping myself for not buying two, one for the bride, one for me. Before I left, I was served the latest flavored Yogi from Hogi Yogi. It was surprisingly tart! What is a Yogi?

Lucy came with me to the modest clothing party. Admittedly there were some cute swimming suits on display. Swimming suits are the farthest thing on my mind. So we took the opportunity to look through my cousin's newly remodeled 70's modern. She has an built-in sauna in her basement. This made me so jealous. You don't even need a cute swimming suit to sit in the sauna. P.S. You go naked.

But the best part of all is that I wore the same polka-dotted cardigan to both parties. My cousins really tried hard to pretend not to notice. But I was all "Look ladies, I am a month-and-a-half away from giving birth. I've picked my Third Trimester Outfit and that is my final answer." And when I said it, I meant it. Boy howdy.

Oh yeah, I also don't do wedding receptions. Why doesn't everyone just elope? It's like a gagillion times better. Plus, you can wear a polka-dotted cardigan. Nobody cares.