Friday, May 11, 2012

Best Blogging Week Ever: Senior Ball Saga

My niece Lindsay had a bit of drama surrounding her senior ball experience this year, we'd love your take on this story:



Thanks Beautifullymodest.com for supporting this vlog and women in general.
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(Also check out their swim wear line, covering up as much as you want covered, that sort of thing.)


*Candy has a date with Sugar, thanks for asking. And what a sweet pair no?

62 comments:

Emily Heizer Photography said...

LOL Courtney you're insane. LOL

Linds, your school is CRAZY! Go alone! I didn't go to my prom in high school, but I did go when I was in law school (Barrister's Ball, aka law school prom) and I went stag. I had no interest in going with a date because I was "above all that nonsense." Being a very grown up girl of 25 or something.

And I definetly think you should be able to go with who you want, and I do think you made the right choice in forcing Snap to re-evaluated his dating ethics with his whole candy tricky-scheme.

Also, the Snap and Smash characters- very confusing. So many S's! And don't get me started on Sugar.

Oh, SUGAR! The owner of a preschool I used at used to swear using that word. OH, SUGAR!

Megan said...

I would let my daughter decide what she wanted to do, but I tell you what. In high school a very shy boy asked me to a dance in the middle of gym class and I lied and said I had already been asked. I've always felt sad for turning him down when it must have taken so much courage and my friends all laughed as he walked away. I still feel sick about it.

I guess karma found me because I got "candied" one year too. The boy asked me in an elaborate way, I accepted, and a week before the dance he asked my friend to tell me he was going to go with someone else...

Koby said...

Hilarious... you two could be mother and daughter. Your mannerisms and ways of speaking are so similar.

I love the new way the kids ask their dates to Prom, but I hate that beautiful young girls are still dealing with the drama that school dances produce. I wouldn't have had nerve enough to go stag...but admire someone who does.

Enjoy your dance young lady...

Koby said...

Can I have a mulligan..?

I should have clarified, I know your niece has a date, I was agreeing with her on the stag issue.

Leisha Mareth said...

A boy who moved from Provo asked me to Junior Prom in a little town in Maryland. There were cookies and flowers and singing in the middle of Spanish 7th Period. An alien could have landed and sucked out our brains and our expressions would have been more encouraging.

Good for your niece for putting her friend above boy politics. A rare gem right there...

Jenny (also) said...

Provo sounds nuts!! Smash is a jerk. But I don't think L should expect Smash to keep a deal he made 2 years ago especially since he now has a girlfriend. Bless andrew's heart.

Alyse Burt said...

When I was a Junior in high school a boy was who semi stalking me, and asked me to the Valentines Dance. I was scared to be alone with him and didn't want to go. My Mom ended up taking something to his house with a note saying I'd be out of town. I have two daughters and I wouldn't make them go to a dance with someone they were uncomfortable with.

I'm so proud of Lindsay for not going with Snap. I hope she has a fabulous time with Andrew in her new dress! :)

Andrea said...

You two are so cute together - stay for the cheer!

Lindsay, you handled yourself gracefully in a hard situation. Beautifully done. I hope you and your date have a terrific time.

I am not sure what direction I would give my daughter - we're not quite there yet but my own first dance I was asked by a boy I didn't really know. I wanted to back out a million times but I went. We had a horrid time!

I was shocked when I was asked to a dance at BYUI with songs and flowers. Where I grew up, you just asked. The boy was so disappointed that I didn't do anything creative to answer-I just said yes. Such a unique/crazy culture. Candy posters, anyone?

Amber King said...

Oh, this brings back my own nightmare of Senior Ball.

I got asked by two boys within ten minutes of each other. The first boy, my friends nicknamed "Shark Boy". He was obsessed with sharks and that's all he talk about. The second boy was my good looking, hilarious friend that I had a secret crush on. And guess who my mom made me go with?!? Shark boy!

But only because Shark Boy made his mom call ahead to see if I had been asked yet. And my mom and his mom were on some committee together. We laugh about it now, but my mom still feels bad about making me go with him. She thought he was weird too.

So I say , go with who ever you want! :)

I am LoW said...

Ahhhhh, what a fun age. They are learning!

I am so jealous that my kids aren't growing up in such a fun and creative area.

I do not insist that my kids say yes to every date asked. That is one area that I sit back and observe and let them figure it all out.

Jeanna said...

So what about Candie? Did she get another date?

LeAnn said...

This is my take:
if it were my daughter I would have her think long and hard about turning down someone just because it wasn't her "first choice." If she had good reasons for saying no, like she questioned his morals, or she felt incredibly uncomfortable around him then by all means. But just because she doesn't know him all that well...this might be a great chance to get to know him. I didn't know my prom date very well at all but really liked him afterward.

I did a switcheroo in high school with someone who had asked me. I got him a new date (a friend who had not been asked) and I asked the person I wanted to go with. I always felt really bad about it. At the time it felt like something I just "had" to do, but looking back I wish I had just gone with the boy who had asked me. Not my most integrity filled moment.

Rebecca said...

A girl is never obligated to say yes to any date--prom or otherwise. Well done, Lindsay. On the other hand, if I didn't have a date, I wouldn't go stag to a date dance. I would definitely plan some other enjoyable activity for that evening, though!

I first accepted, and then bowed out of a date to my own senior prom. (I hope I did so gracefully). I have no memory of what I did that night instead. But I don't regret not going with someone I wasn't looking forward to spending the evening with.

P. said...

love it, good job Linds for putting girls before boys!

When I was in HS, a boy who had a crush on me asked me to evry dance all four years! I turned him down everytime. I didnt know him and i wasn't interested in getting to know him. My siblings teased me about it, but my parents never made me go with him, thank god!

My junior year, my older sister who was a senior went with a group of girlfriends to prom and had a blast! not having to worry about all the "date stuff" was such a relief!

Good story, you two are great together! xo

Owatonna Mamma said...

In our Minnesota town it would be rare for a boy and girl to promise eachother to be dates for a special dance a year or two in advance! Girls are asked maybe a few (2 or 3) months before the big dance. Lots of girls go in girl groups to homecoming but probably not to prom. And I would guess most parents leave it totally up to their daughters to decide who they say yes or no to. A girl wouldn't feel pressured to say "yes" to the first boy who asked. However, it would be a no no to say "yes" to someone and then change your mind and tell them you're going with someone else - how mean!

Anne said...

Your Aunt Courtney classes sound a lot like my Aunt Anne classes. Woot! Woot!

Kari Lyn Handley said...

Bravo Lindsey!! Nicely done. I hope my daughters will be kind hearted and brave enough in high school to make hard choices. I would never make them go with a boy that made them uncomfortable. I would totally encourage going stag if they had been asked by more than one boy and didn't want to go with the boy that asked first. Oh man, looking ahead to high school for 4 daughters makes me super nervous.

Emily said...

I think Lindsay toads did the right thing. I live in California and here, everyone goes to prom stag. It's no big deal if you don't have a date. On Prom night, downtown, we'll run into big groups of girls having dinner together, all dressed up, and then they head to the dance.

Loved this! Loved the made up names.

Creole Wisdom said...

Yay Owatonna Mamma. We sure know how to do it right in our state, huh?

In all seriousness, what a lovely, mature young woman Lindsey is. I don't know if I would of had it in me at 17. I was insecure and scared. She is wise for standing up and doing the right thing.

How is committing to attend any event with a young lady and then dropping out acceptable? I pray when I have sons God willing one day that I will drill this into them. It seems to be an epidemic. I wish I could say it gets better with age, but men do this, too! Oy!

argylesocks said...

This was my favorite vlog yet. Lindey, you rock! CJ, love the aunt classes. All kids need an aunt like you.

19acf86a-3bae-11e1-b9bc-000bcdcb5194 said...

What a lovely girl your niece is! Putting her friend's feelings before her desire to go to the dance proves that she is a kind, thoughtful,and mature young woman. You must be so proud of her. I hope she has a fabulous time at the Senior Ball. (And 'Candy'??-- Does she have a date, too?)

Marilyn said...

Love this video Courtney & Lindsey. You both are adorable and I admire Lindsey and the difficult choice she had to make. I would love to share a story about my Senior Prom, though it may appear to some that I didn't make the right choice. Here's what happened...

In the Spring of 1994, I was a senior and there was a boy who I kind of liked and who kind of liked me. We were dating each other occasionally, though not exclusively and not steady. He was a very nice young man. He asked me to the senior prom and I was happy to go with him. The prom happened to fall on my 18th birthday and was being held at a local mansion, so you can imagine the excitement around this event.

I can't remember exactly how this came about, but the local newspaper contacted my date and I and asked us if they could do a story about the process of preparing for and going to prom. It was an exciting time.

Then, something very unexpected happened. I met an amazing guy a few weeks before prom and we began to date and began to fall in love. I realize this sounds strange to some people, but it's the truth. We were in love and I couldn't imagine going to my senior prom with anyone but him.

I broke the news to the boy who had asked me to prom that I couldn't go with him because I was in love with someone else who was taking me to prom instead. I remember feeling bad about doing this to him, but at the same time, just couldn't bring myself to go with him. We also notified the paper that we were no longer going to prom together and so they found a different couple to do the story on.

The day of prom came, which was also my 18th birthday, and my new love took me on a beautiful date to a nearby waterfall where we had a picnic and hiked the falls, and later he took me to the mansion where the prom was being held and we had a wonderful time.

A few months later, I married that man and 18 years later, we are happily married with four children and our 16 year old daughter is now going to her Prom tomorrow.

I have shared this story with our daughters and told them how I regret hurting the other boy's feelings but truly followed my heart. It was a hard decision to make, and still wonder if I made the right one.

I should mention that the other boy found another date and seemed to have a great time at prom, though I can't help feeling that what I did to him was unkind.

So there's the story of my senior prom with all of it's drama and heart-wrenching decisions :)

Tamra said...

My senior year I was dating a boy, but I also had a best friend who was a boy. My best friend and I had been planning to go to our Senior prom together. And honestly-I enjoyed being in his company way more than the boy I was dating (you'd think that would've been a sign unto me). But when prom-asking season rolled around and I mentioned to the boy I was dating that I had promised my bestie that I would go with him, he was a little miffed (rightfully so) and I didn't think the obvious, which was, oh hm you don't like this boy enough to want to go to prom with him? Dump him! No, instead I said OK i won't go with my best friend. So my best friend asked another girl (who I happened to know that he had a minor crush on, and who I happened to be jealous of because he had a minor crush on her). And eventually the desire to go to prom at all dwindled and I told my boyfriend- You know, I just don't like dances (which was very true) and I just don't have any desire to go to prom this year. Let's skip it. It'll save you money, blah blah blah. So we didn't go. My best friend was pretty upset that I ended up not even going. Long story short, dating boys you don't like as much as your friends is stupid. If I could go back I would totally have broken up with him, or at least said "shove it" and gone to prom with who I wanted to go with.

Here's what I think about a boy that you don't really know asking you to a dance: If you know of someone else who was going to ask you that you'd rather go with, hint to them that if they ask you right away you will go with them. Then tell the other boy that you had already made other arrangements. The thing is, if it's going to be awkward it isn't even worth going. BUT that isn't to say that you shouldn't give some people a chance. I mean, I gave a guy a chance on a date (in college) and it was a really awkward first date. Now we're married. :)

Alexis said...

Going to prom is a big deal and you will be glad you went. Sounds to me like the group of friends need to be more up front and talk about who they like. I think it is great you are going with Andrew since he isn't into the "games".

As a Mother of teen boy, he would rather go to prom with someone who wants to go with him. It is a big expense and they think you like them if you go. If you really don't, thank them for the invite and decline. No one wants to spend $$ on a girl that is hating the date. If you just don't know him, go and see if you could like him. It is a great opportunity to get to know each other. It takes lots of guts to ask a girl out....well unless you are Snap or Smash, or Sugar. Who seem really good at asking everyone out and even manipulating the person to get out of the invite.

Have a great time sweetie!

Alison Crosland said...

I'm actually from the Provo! (HOLLA) and I had a bit of a sticky situation for my Senior Ball experience too.

One of my very best friends, Brian, wanted to ask me to Senior Ball and I couldn't have been more excited to go with him! Well about a month and a half before Senior Ball I got a knock on my door and there lying on the ground was a love note. I picked it up, read it, and noticed it wasn’t signed.

After reading the note, I looked up and out of the night’s shadows, in a tux, walked a boy. Not Brian, but a boy I had known for few years but wasn’t one of my good friends. His name was Jaskson. He got on one knee, handed me flowers, and asked if I would go to Senior Ball with him. I was shocked. I wasn’t planning on going with him and he wanted an answer now! I didn’t know to do!

After taking into account how early he asked me, the super sweet note, and how he asked me, I knew he really wanted to go with me. Hesitant, I said yes.

I told my parents and friends what happened and how I really wanted to go to my last high school dance with Brian, not this boy I didn’t really know. My friends told me to tell Jackson that I had kind of already been asked by another boy, Brian. It was still early in the asking game so Jackson would be able to find another date. My parents told me to go with Jackson; he did officially ask me to the dance first. I knew they were right. I had to go with this shy, not very popular, but kind boy.

To this day, I still wish I could’ve gone to Senior Ball with Brian and been in a group with all my friends but I had a good time with Jackson. He treated me like I was the most important and beautiful girl at the dance. And I think that if didn’t go with Jackson then I would’ve regretted it the rest of my life.

Camille said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vintageblueballoon said...

I am amazed! I love that story! You rock with your awesome morals! GO STANDARDS.

I love that you stood behind your best friend. No boy is worth a friendship. So wise of you at such a young age

When I was in High School (also Mormon) I got asked by a guy who I wanted to ask me and the same day I got a Teddy Bear at my door step (word obviously hadn't gotten around yet that I was taken). The teddy bear said that I had to bring the Bear to school to find out who asked me because they would have the same bear.....Kinda put me in an awkward place do I show up with the Bear so I can return it? Or not have the bear all together?

I ended up taking the bear and was mortified when I saw the boy (Shy, kinda nerdy, but cute) holding the same Bear. He had a huge grin on his face...ahhh...So heart breaking... I am dying as I am typing this! I broke the news to him and then watched him stuff both bears in his backpack completely embarrassed.

Never fear, good moral coming right up. I immediately asked him to go to "Girls Choice" with me. WHEW!!!

Anyway, I think your story is awesome and am sure it will motivate and inspire other girls. Way to go!!

meg said...

I loved this. It is now my mission in life to be the kind of aunt that can sit around the table, talking and laughing with my nieces and nephews. Way to go Courtney!

Miri said...

I was never asked to any high school dances. *sniff* I'm not bitter at all.

Sallie said...

Let's be honest, Snap should have been slapped by Smash.

I miss High School Drama/Saga's.

pollydove said...

My youngest daughter was asked to the Valentine's dance this year by a boy who was a friend of hers. For whatever reason, however, she just did NOT want to go. I encouraged her to go, tried to convince her that it would be fun, but she politely turned him down. Now, I can look at that situation and admire her for not going just because she was asked. I'm proud of her for sticking to that feeling she had and not "caving" to the pressure of her peers to go just because she was asked.

Ten years earlier, my oldest daughter was asked to the Homecoming dance and it was going to be her very first date EVER! She was SOOOO excited! When her date showed up, he was skinny, skinny, with braces and ears that stuck out a little too far from his head, in my opinion. She had a good time, but they never had another date in high school.

BUT! When that boy got off his mission, and ran into my daughter at a retail store she worked at - he walked out and said to his mom, "That's the girl I'm going to marry." And he did marry her. They just had their second baby too.

So you never know what might transpire from a school dance date ...

I do feel your pain about the awkward situation that boy put you in though. I hope you have a marvelous time with Andrew. You are adorable!

Becca said...

what I think is...you could not pay me enough to go back to high school!

~ Lacey ~ said...

I just want to say, that when I ditched my senior prom date two days before prom (because of inappropriate behavior on his part)....I was asked to the prom at the last minute by an acquaintance in my ceramics class, that I didn't know very well. He was a senior and didn't have a date, and just wanted someone to go with. I already had a dress, so I agreed to go. Why not??? I am telling you, I had an absolute blast at senior prom and he and I have been life long friends now!!! (And I am now 32). My opinion....Even if you don't know the person who asks you very well...I don't think that there is any harm in giving them a chance. I have a good friend in my life from doing just that. :)

Robyn said...

high school, i sure don't miss it! we had a junior prom and all that meant was that the junior class was in charge of it; theme, decorations, royalty etc. but all grades were invited. it was an all day event too much like you mentioned. i was asked (jr year) by a cute and nice enough guy who had the hots for me (in a very creative way too, a bowl of salad fixings with cute phrases..."lettuce" go to prom... etc). i had just broken up with my boyfriend and was a GRUMP but felt obligated to go with my asker. we had an entirely awkward and horrible prom experience (although I won prom royalty) and guess what... he ended up being my brother in law! awkward for a few years and i later apologized.

ellen said...

I've only heard of crap like that happening in Utah.

When my brother and I were at BYU I made arrangements for a double date-ish dinner (I was going with a guy that served a mission in my home ward in California and my brother was going with my friend). We were having dinner with our grandparents in SLC. When I called to confirm with my friend she said, "I can't go." It was the weirdest thing ever. For a long time I couldn't figure out what happened. Then months later my friend told me that her roommate liked my brother and when she told him that she was going with him to this double date-ish dinner she said, "You're NOT going." What?!? Well, the joke was on the friend because two years after their first date, they got married.

Nora said...

I went to my prom with a good friend, who was nice and all, but not who I wanted to go with. Years later (like in our thirties later) we figured out that we'd both thought the other had a crush on us and had asked (or said yes), just to be nice. So, beware of that.

But a friend of mine Erin, went with another friend of ours, Eric, just because they didn't have dates and thought it'd be fun to go together. And now? Married with two babies. So you never know.

Also, can I just say that by the time you got to the offer from Slab, I thought Slab was yet another suitor? Y'all Utah folk have some funny names.

Eva McGann said...

Loved this Vlog! Awesome!

My daughter had a friend "Candy" who was dating a guy named "Andrew". Candy and Andrew weren't allowed to single date (under 18), so Candy asked my daughter "Sally" if she would double date and go with Candy's brother "Peter".

Peter has severe Asperger's Syndrome and is awkward in social situations. Sally was nervous about going on a double date with Peter as her date, but agreed because she wanted to help out Candy.

Because Sally went out on one double date, Peter thought that Sally really liked him (didn't understand social cues) and then asked Sally to Homecoming (in an elaborate way just as has been described in your video).

Sally didn't want to go as it was her first real dance/date and she knew that Peter really liked her and didn't understand that she wanted to be friends. My husband and I felt bad b/c it was so difficult for Peter to work up his nerve to ask Sally and we didn't think he would ask anyone else if she turned him down (or that anyone would say yes) so we made her go with him.

Bad decision on our part. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't make Sally go with Peter. Our daughter still hasn't forgiven us for this majoring parenting mistake.

However, the outcome of this is that Candy ended up being a little bit possessive of Andrew and he broke up with her. Six months later, Andrew asked Sally out. Sally talked it over with Candy (even though they hadn't dated in 6 months) who originally said it was ok and so Sally and Andrew started dating. Unfortunately Candy became very upset when they started dating and hasn't spoken to Sally since that time.

Sally and Andrew have been dating now for 2 1/2 years...Andrew is on his mission, coming home in a year and he and Sally plan to marry. All is well that ends well.

Townhouse Towny said...

Smash sounds like a doof for making dance arrangements a year in advance when he very well could have a girlfriend by then who would be none too pleased with the arrangement!

Look at me, sassing about high school drama. Look what your vlog has done!! That story could have gone a lot worse if your niece wasn't such a good upstanding friend. Glad to hear it all worked out and she has such a great sense of humor about it all!

Tyler said...

I'm with the commentor who said you couldn't pay me enough to go back to high school!!!!!

I think if a nice, normal boy asks you, you should NEVER say no. It is so hard to ask girl's on dates! Give em a break!

SuiGeNeRiS Speaks said...

CJane goes all "Oprah"...haha..WooT!

We don't have anything that extravagant in Australia. We have the year 12 Formal - my was terrible....I was at a school I have only been at since the year before, I was the only mormon and I didn't have any really close friends.
No one asked me, don't know if I totally gave them a chance because I guess I was worried no one would, so I ask someone myself. I asked an outsider, a boy from church, not in my ward. It was kind of embarrassing because I really liked him and his mum really liked me, and my grandma and his mum were trying to get us together. But frankly, he wasn't that into me. So we went, and the company was like pulling teeth, he was not very talkative and I didn't really feel comfortable the whole night.(I wanted to feel like a princess, and I didn't) The music was terrible because everyone in my grade was into alternative music and I was R&B girl who was obsessed with music and loved to dance. The only mildy slow song they played was "Bye bye miss American pie"....which is not slow at all...

Anyway I was so excited and it felt like a disaster :( I think I was scarred for life -

I would never desire to go back to high school again....ugh

Bits and Pieces of Me...Emily! said...

I think your niece handled the situation very well.

I wouldn't make my daughter go with someone she didn't feel comfortable with. I did that for a casual dance and it was not a fun night at all. Sadly, I was not asked to my Senior Ball. I sat at home, while all my friends went. It was depressing. I weeded my dad's garden. That was the same year that two, yes, two guys insulted me and confirmed that I was going to be prom-less. One guy told me "I was going to ask you, but I found someone better" and the other one said "You're ugly as a dog, I wouldn't ask you if you were the last girl in high school" gulp. I wouldn't have gone with the last guy anyway. But still. sigh.

I hope your niece has fun with Andrew! :)

Holly Decker said...

teenagers make everything cooler. Lindsay just took you to the next level of celestial blogging. hollllllerrrr...

ps. to answer the questions... my mom always made us go with whoever asked us first, no matter what.
pps. my husband does not want to raise our kids the same way, he wants our girls to be able to say no to people they do not want to date, and thinks boys need to learn to accept rejection and handle the truth. he doesn't think girls need to lie. i can see both sides... who knows what will happen when it comes down to it.
ppps. this same saga totally happened in my provo ward YW, and i think its very common... you handled it well, darling.
pppps. i think cashzy (casual and dressy) is a great new word you came up with. cool deal for a cool site! i miss slab pizza like crazy. and all of provo.

that is all.
amen

Allison said...

I asked a guy "David" to our Winter formal who said Yes, only to find out that another Guy "Travis" who liked me also wanted to take me. I told him that I would take him to sadies in a couple months. When Sadies rolled around, he Had a girlfriend. I told him I wasn't taking him to Sadies if he had a girlfriend; His girlfriend could take him. He was really mad at me for that, but It didn't seem right taking a guy to a dance that I wasn't interested in and who had a steady girlfriend. At our school, you didn't take someone elses girlfriend/boyfriend to a dance. I went to Sadies with a friend of mine from church and we had a blast. Travis and His girlfriend broke up, So I tried to make it up to him by going to Prom with him, but that was a bad night and we really didn't date again after that. (My Senior year, I went to every dance with my boyfriend, the David from above, and we had SOOO MUCH FUN!)

High school certainly is a time for learning.

jadell said...

In Idaho, we have very similar traditions for dances. 15 years ago, when I was a senior, I dated my brothers best friend (he was an RM). We had talked about going to Prom together, but broke up before the dance. He asked me if I still wanted to go to Prom with him. Of course I did. We were still friends, and I enjoyed his company that night. I can only imagine how awkward it was for him at 21 to go to a Senior Prom. I say YAY!! for good guys like Andrew!! Go have a great time, and know that you did the right thing.


CJane, I think you should have additional nieces and nephews join you for your weekly vlogs. Such a fun dynamic. :)

Jenni said...

Please post pictures so we can see what dress she picked!!

Christi said...

Way to go Lindsay for handling that situation with such dignity and grace. I think you put your friendship first and not many girls do that these days.

I would never make my daughter go to a dance or even a date with a boy she didn't want to go with. I had many an experience where I was asked by boys I didn't know and had to say yes and even reciprocate by asking that boy to the next girls choice dance. Not great experiences. The best dances were with really great guy friends. But if you say yes, you should go, unless there is a good reason not to. I would never want my daughter to go with someone she felt unsafe with. Had that experience too unfortunately. I did say no to 2 guys because one always talked inappropriately and the other boy was really controlling, wildly jealous and had grabbed me so hard at school that he bruised my arm and stalked me. No problem saying no to that guy.

The best dance ever I went with a great friend, the guy I started dating went with the person he asked and we met up later and my date hung out with my bf's date and there relationship actually lasted longer than mine. But it was fun. At our school no one went stag, we just did girls nights out. I just say trust your daughters instincts, if she doesn't want to go with someone don't make her go.

Melinda said...

As the mother of a son, I'm heartened by the responses that take the boy's feelings into account. My son was not much for dating, and found the rigamarole involved in coordinating a group date with other boys exhausting (an unfortunate by-product of the well-intentioned no-single-dating rule in For the Strength of Youth) but worked up the courage to ask a classmate whom he knew well to the Prom. He and a friend did a nice, semi-elaborate "ask" and he felt good about going out on a limb and was looking forward to a nice date.

She TEXTED HIM two hours later saying, "I just don't like you like that."

Do you think he ever asked another girl to another dance?!

Rosebud said...

Sounds like Junior Prom and Senior Ball need a bit of updating CJane. My recommendation would be to change one of the two a girl's choice dance. I'd suggest Senior Ball, but I'm guessing the community wouldn't be too accepting of my first inclination. Changing Junior Prom into a girl's choice would be a progressive step towards evening things out a bit, though, no?

Maybe this situation needs a little CJane magic. Perhaps you could step in to make a difference. Future generations of Provo girls deserve a chance to have their community support the message that life isn't just about waiting around for Mr. Right and that a girl's value isn't based upon whether or not she has a date or who that date might be.

Thanks for the vlog. Enjoyed my first visit.

Vesuvius At Home said...

I wouldn't encourage my daughter to go on any date if she didn't really want to. I think it's important to teach our girls that they are not ever obligated to do anything for a boy, even if he thinks she's cute. It's very important for women to know they own their choices, their agency, their romantic sides, and their sexuality. They are never obligated to give anything they don't want to, ever. Not even a date.

And I would be proud to raise a daughter like Lindsay :)

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

My senior prom date dumped me a week before prom. It was horrible! So, I went by myself (and I had the best time.) 25 years later I'm still proud of my 17 year old self for having the guts to do it.

I really think that schools should encourage students to attend in groups of friends. It takes all the pressure and the drama (oy, the drama of this story!) out of it while still maintaining all the fun.

ltk said...

Your niece is lovely and has her head and heart in the right place.
I am so glad I am not in high school anymore.
I guess I do think as a general rule that a girl should said not turn someone down in hopes of being asked by someone else unless of course she is uncomfortable with that person (I mean more than the awkwardness of a date type of discomfort--more of the stalkerish, creepy feeling type of discomfort).
I said no to a guy (politely) because I barely knew him and I was on the shy side but I didn't go at all to the prom (and was pretty fine with that-only about 1/3 of my very large class did)
However, these boys certainly don't seem to be sticking to their word.
And I agree with you CJane ...she should have written off Smash or Snap or whatever his name was once he asked your niece to "postpone" their date until the following year.
I wish going with groups of friends and without being partnered up is more of the norm.
And to repeat...I am so glad I am not in high school anymore.

Sara interrupted said...

Complex story - I went stag with my girls and we had the best time and way less drama.

I do have to share this video from a few weeks ago of my friend's son Johnboi. There are quite a few member kids at his school and he has a lovely, modest friend-who-is-a-girl he is sweet on. Nobody has ever asked anyone to the ball like this at Melville High - even his (male) principal got teary eyed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BvGV58ni4gQ

mylifeasiknowit said...

this was soooooooooooooooo funny cjane, I love how you two connect and what an awesome aunt you are!!!!

PacPaliGoulds said...

You look just like your mom in this Vlog! Love it

Molly said...

Way to go, L! Of course you should take boys' feelings into account, but it seems like Smash (or whoever) manipulated your friend, so I think you did the right thing. This made me happy not to be in HS again, oh the relief!

I also want to see pictures from the big event!

Nikki said...

I am so so happy to say that my kids High School, Riverton High and quite a few of the others here in Salt Lake Vally have changed Senior Prom or Senior Dinner Dance to a stag dance only!! They found that too many Seniors were missing their Senior Ball/Prom because they didn't have dates. They decided that it was more important that all seniors were in attendance. They also changed it form Formal to SemiFormal. You can still have pictures taken you just have them done in groups of friends. It has been VERY successfull for about 5 years now. I LOVE it!

Junior Prom is for anyone in the school to attend. But only Juniors get to participate in the promenade. It is formal. It is a guys choice dance. (guys do the asking) Both dances are a BIG deal and I think the school has found the best solution to allowing the most students to attend.

Props to Lindsay for turning down Snap after he turned on her friend. Friends are way more important than guys any day of the week.

sherry said...

Where I come from, (Mormon Mesa, AZ) you go with who asks you first whether you want to or not. In fact, twice I was asked first by someone other than my actual boyfriend, and I went with who asked me. I think it was a good thing. Whips those boyfriends into shape and keeps you from getting too serious with one guy. And those boys turned out to be dear friends. But. Junior prom I was asked very early by a guy I didn't know. Then I started dating someone else. In that case these boys got together and decided I should go with my boyfriend instead of the stranger. Which is exactly what I wanted! And, in my romantic 16 year old brain, they fought over me. I kind of loved that. Now, it seems a little heavy handed. Moral of the story, teenage boys are immature. Tell them to come see you post mission!

This Girl loves to Talk said...

hmmm where I live in australia we have the school 'formal' which is kinda like prom except that it is at the end of our last year of school (grade 12) because it is kinda seen as a last celebration many people go stag, or in group of girls and guys. It is popular to have a date but many schools only allow a date from with the grade 12's - so unless there is perfect amount of boys and girls, its a given that not everyone will have a date. I accepted from a guy who I barely knew, I think once all the popular people were asked people just looked aroud to see who was left.. I wish I had just gone alone, but all my friends had dates and we went together in a limo... it wasnt bad and it wasnt the best ever... just middle.. and I dont think I've ever talked to or seen the guy since!!

Candice Maria Martinez Brown said...

Good for you! That's great that you were willing to stand up for yourself and your friend.

When I was a senior I was asked to the prom by a boy that I had never met, spoken to, or even had a class with. He asked me by decorating my room with balloons. I had to pop them to find out who was asking me. When I discovered the one with his name I had no clue who he was. I had to look him up in the yearbook and even then I did not recognize him. Apparently he had a class with a couple of my friends and saw me talking to them one day in the hall.

Needless to say, I didn't feel comfortable being alone with him (thru my friends I found out that he didn't have a group of friends and that it was just going to be me and him on the date). I felt really bad but my gut just told me I had to say no. I didn't get asked by anyone else and I ended up hanging out with a few friends doing our own thing the night of the dance.

Long story short, my two friends that had the class with him thought I was heartless and cold for saying no. In the end I lost two friends but I listened to my instincts and did what I felt was right for me.

Followup: Years later I ended up getting back in touch with those two friends. Neither of them remembered the unfortunate circumstances in which we ended our friendship.

Mrs. Cropper said...

I love you, Lindsay!!!!

Malia said...

I'm late to the party, but just had a chance to watch this. I think Lindsay handled herself very maturely and sweetly and any guy who gets to take her to the dance is LUCKY and any girl who gets to be her friend is BLESSED!

I was the "buddy" in high school and the guys only came to me with the question, "Gee...everyone has been asked to (insert dance). Who should I ask?" I spent the majority of dances in my living room. :( A sophomore asked me to my Jr. Prom and I was mortified to go with a group of SOPHOMORES so I said no and then, of course, would not have said yes to anyone else (and yes, that decision is one I regret to this day - he was a great kid) so I spent the night at home. I didn't get asked to Sr. Ball so I spent that night at home, too...There was one more dance (can't remember which) where the captain of the football team, and my really great friend, asked me. The dance squad quickly pointed out to the whole school how "completely out of his league" I was. He knew of the talk and in turn treated me like a queen...and gave me some hope for future mankind. ;) I would never, ever, EVER go back and do it again - but kudos to you, Lindsay, for being such a lady!

skt said...

It's degrading that these girls have to just sit around and hope that a guy asks them out, then are expected to go with the first one who asks. It's as if their opinion means nothing. Why can't a girl ask a guy out?

On another note, Lindsey, you are full of grace and kindness. Good for you for not falling for the flattery and hurting your friend "Candy's" feelings in the process.