I Ain't No Fortunate Son, Oh No



Tonight Chup and I
are writing fortunes for everyone who comes to Mindy Gledhill's album release concert next Monday. The idea is to raise money for Provo's downtown cultural arts--you donate cash, you get a fortune written by c jane or Chup. Why are you laughing? People pay big money for our fortunes. I mean, they will in the future. See? I just told my own fortune.

As it goes, the fortunes were actually due at 8:00 tonight--per Mindy's request, but it's 10:22pm and we've only written five so far.

Five, no wait. Four. Actually, let me just . . . look at our list so far . . . shuffling papers . . . ok . . . um, reading over them real fast . . . oh . . . scratch that one out (stupid! stupid!) and . . . three. We've written three so far.

It's going to be a long night.

Chup keeps coming up with motivational ones like, "You are what you think about, so think about what you are" which I won't accept because that is not a fortune, that is Yoda. Or Oprah. Or somebody.

I like fortunes that tell the future, you know, give you a sparkle inside your heart.

Here's one I wrote:

"Tomorrow you will find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck."

Isn't that a thriller? Don't spend the penny, just pick it up. Pick it up . . . good luck. One whole day. If you got that fortune the night of Mindy's concert, how would you sleep that night knowing what was about to unfold THE NEXT DAY?

That is what I am talking about.

By way of compromising, Chup and I did come together on one fortune so far. After complaining that Chup's weren't foresighty enough he came up with,

"You will be getting a new pet."

Which was . . . well . . . a start. So I added,

"You will be a getting a new pet--a new pet peeve. Enjoy!"

Then Chup looked at me like "are you kidding?" and I looked at him back like, "no I am not kidding, in fact I think it's genius!" and he shook his head and I started laughing deliriously and come to think of it I should probably scratch that one off the list too.

So now we are down to two.

Well, anyway. I've got to get back to fortune telling. It's taxing. If you can't tell.


Here's the poster again, because I know you are coming and I wanted to get you excited:








Just look at what our mayor is up to this time:






I am c jane and if you leave me a comment all of your wildest dreams will come true. Except not the one where you are naked in public. Sorry.

contact me:
cjanemail@gmail.com

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